Will am I Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 I understand how people would reach out when their conscience is stirring. And I togally get how they’d send one e-mail and not engage in personal comtact with other partners of their (ex) partner. I do think it’s an action that crosses over boundaries. If your partner is unfaithful, your problem is with him and not with any or the women that he’s unfaithful with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 11 hours ago, Will am I said: I understand how people would reach out when their conscience is stirring. And I togally get how they’d send one e-mail and not engage in personal comtact with other partners of their (ex) partner. Yes, I agree. Especially if it's not an ex-partner but someone who is still close to him, like a friend or family member who knows what's up and doesn't support it. An old friend of mine was alerted to her boyfriend's double-life when a random friend of his (whom she didn't know) dropped her an email. He never wanted my friend to reveal who the source of this email was since he was still friends with the boyfriend, but he didn't feel right sitting by when he knew the boyfriend had another partner the entire time (and discovered my friend existed, which he hadn't known until shortly before he contacted her) Anyway, OP, I think this is not a "nothing-to-see-here" issue just stirred up by an ex. There are too many other red flags about this man for there not to be more to it. I hope you will have more information soon. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 I think we all know very soon what's going on... well, we hope... 🙂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Anyway, OP, I think this is not a "nothing-to-see-here" issue just stirred up by an ex. There are too many other red flags about this man for there not to be more to it. I hope you will have more information soon. Agree. Such a thing has never occurred to me (sending an email just to stir up trouble). Given everything else you've written, Gloriousdays, it's understandable that you fear your boyfriend may be up to something. No one really knows whether he is being unfaithful, if he's innocent, or if he's associated with unsavory people. Link to post Share on other sites
Despin Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 The most likely scenario in my opinion is that he'll just keep stalling. The planned meetup and house tour scheduled for today will never happen because "something" will come up, most likely mom isn't feeling well or some other convenient excuse. From what I read earlier this meetup was supposed to happen a week or so ago when he returned from his trip and it never did. This will be an ongoing cycle, until he figures he's played it out as far as it's going to get, at which point he will break up with her saying he cannot be with someone who doesn't trust him and questions him all the time. She'll never get any answers because she isn't the type to go looking for them, if anything she'll post here to the extent of "He broke up with me because I asked too many questions what can I do to get him back". 4 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 @Gloriousdays I hope you will update us with the outcome, either way. I truly do hope it works out the way you want, but if not, LS can be a great support. I think it's safe to say we've all become quite invested in your story at least on some level, so good luck today and keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 Well... OP lives in UK where it is currently Sunday @ 7:40 pm so hopefully it won't be long before she updates with whether or not this meal with mum ever happened? @Gloriousdays? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stret Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 On 9/2/2022 at 12:50 PM, Gloriousdays said: yeah maybe I should do that instead of ringing the bell …. Where do you think the wife is when I have spent Christmas and New Years with him though? She might have thought he was on a work trip? Who knows what's happening there, but one thing is clear - there is some secret he's hiding. There is no reason not to tell you his mum's last name. There is no reason not to want to introduce you to her or take you to his place. And there is no reason why now he needs time to set everything up so that when you arrive things look as portrayed by him. He can easily take his "mum" somewhere for a SPA weekend, clean up the house and take you there. Go and knock on the door before he takes you there... if he gets mad because of that under the circumstances then screw him. He doesn't seem mature enough, otherwise, what mature guy travels for three weeks alone to Las Vegas? It is boring as hell after only a week there. But, free sex is everywhere, high class prostitutes are everywhere too. Maybe he has a wife there somewhere - the email came from the US most likely and the name is likely American. Maybe not. I dated a guy that turned out to be married - I figured out after 3 months because someone told me that he had kids. He spent nights at my place, was coming over for Christmas, etc. Enabled by the nature of his job. You wouldn't believe the lengths that people are willing to go through to maintain two different relationships. I wish you all the best and remember that it is better to break up than live with someone who is hiding something. It will just eat you on the inside and ruin your health. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 I often times wonder what happens to these women posters who are teetering on the ledge of being taken for a ride, only to never be heard from again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 12, 2022 Share Posted September 12, 2022 How was it meeting his Mom? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloriousdays Posted September 13, 2022 Author Share Posted September 13, 2022 Hi all I’m so sorry for not getting back here sooner with the update … so I didn’t meet the mum … he said to me that because of what his ex did ( contacting me and his workplace) his mum is now against him dating women of my race ( we were in a an interracial relationship) so he said to me that his mum told him not to go anywhere near a woman of my race …..but he still wanted to move in with me in but I told him no … so I ended the relationship as I believe he wasn’t being honest with me and he was just lying to me … I’m devastated to say the least but it’s for the best in the long run …. Thank you all for your wonderful advice and support that you gave me during this extremely difficult time ….. 6 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Despin Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 @Gloriousdays this is the best thing that could have possibly happened to you. One day you'll look back on this and say to yourself "What the heck was I thinking?". They say love is blind. That's sort of what you just went through. Don't beat yourself up for letting him snow you for so long, that's what emotions do to us, they cloud common sense and reason. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 Wowwwwww - I can’t wrap my head around that story and how it’s ending. I’m sorry you wasted that much time on a conman, OP! I admire your calmness. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 (edited) @GloriousdaysSad ending, but probably for the better. I hope the conversation on this forum has helped you to be more prepared for this demasqué and no longer accept his habits of twisting and turning the truth and keeping you on a leash. I find his final story very offensive. Somehow he made this not about you and him, but about his ex GF, his mom and your race? Everyone is to blame but him, that much is clear. And no moral limits either. So wrong on every level. Wishing you strength! Edited September 13, 2022 by Will am I 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Gloriousdays said: his mum is now against him dating women of my race …..but he still wanted to move in with me in but I told him no … so I ended the relationship as I believe he wasn’t being honest with me and he was just lying to me Sorry this happened. It turned out for the best and you dodged a bullet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 Wow! I’m so sorry - this must hurt you. The gall! Oh, my Mom is racist… like he didn’t know this BEFORE now? good riddance! He certainly pulled a card out of his hat that you couldn’t control (your race)! But… why had his Mom agreed before to meet you? He doesn’t make sense - once again. my bet is still on “this guy is very much MARRIED!” just don’t contact him again. Glad YOU ended it! stay strong! Hugs 7 Link to post Share on other sites
seapebbles Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 (edited) I'm so sorry that things ended this way! There is definitely something about his life and/or lifestyle that he's keeping secret from you. You're not good enough to meet his mum or step foot in his house because of your race, but he still wants to move in with you? Absolutely not. Do not let this man back into your life. You deserve so much better than this guy! Edited September 13, 2022 by seapebbles 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 I’m very sorry for the end of your relationship, but it is likely for the best. Regardless of his marital status, he has a strange relationship with his mother. I personally wouldn’t trust him, I don’t like how he made you wait for an explanation and then introduced you to his mum - only to tell you that she didn’t approve of your relationship? Did he know this was going to happen before you met - why put you through that? Strange, all around. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 This man is sooooo full of sh*t. I'm really sorry. I still think you should have gone over there lol. I'd be dying to know the truth about his real life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, Gloriousdays said: so I didn’t meet the mum … he said to me that because of what his ex did (contacting me and his workplace) his mum is now against him dating women of my race This makes no sense not that it matters now. But what does his ex contacting you have to do with his mum being a racist and not approving of you? I'm not getting the connection between those two things. He never had any intention of introducing you, ever. Sounds like he's always known she wouldn't approve of you because of your race which is why he never wanted you to meet her. Good riddance. I'm sorry @Gloriousdays, feel better. Hugs. Edited September 14, 2022 by poppyfields 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 5 hours ago, Gloriousdays said: he said to me that because of what his ex did ( contacting me and his workplace) his mum is now against him dating women of my race ( we were in a an interracial relationship) so he said to me that his mum told him not to go anywhere near a woman of my race ….. That literally makes no sense. Because of something his ex did, she is against your relationship? Was his ex the same race as you? At any rate, probably best not to try to disentangle this. Narcissists, if that’s what he is, love creating nonsensical word salads. Thank your lucky stars for that email, and good for you for giving him the boot! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 It is upsetting to hear how this situation turned out. Our first reaction is to look for answers and try to piece everything together, but avoid overburdening yourself with all the lies the man has told you at once. Clarity will come to you gradually. Make sure you take time to look after your health and surround yourself with friends and family. Take extra good care of yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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