ironpony Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 My friend has been borrowing money from me to pay rent but he always pays me back so far. But now he asks me for money to buy a bike, that is almost $1000, and he doesn't want a cheap bike, because they always fail he says. He says he would be willing to pay me back over the months, but I am getting kind of tired of lending him money and keeping track, and now he wants me to lend him a lot more. I have a lot going on in my life right now, and this would be another headache for me at this time, but I don't want to be insensitive or cheap to a friend who has always paid me back so far, neither. What do you think? Thank you for any opinions on it. I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 23 hours ago, ironpony said: What do you think? I think you have no obligation to your friend. If it's inconvenient and you don't want to just say 'no, sorry' and that's it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 On 6/2/2022 at 11:44 PM, ironpony said: My friend has been borrowing money from me to pay rent but he always pays me back so far. Stop doing this. Let him live within his means. You're not a bank. Let him put stuff on credit cards. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) Its unfair of him to ask you- if he were a proper genuine friend he would not ask you for money, If you were well established yourself and he was a good mate over the years-maybe its ok under them circumstances, but it seems that you are only finding your way with things yourself so you dont want that kind of pressure from any friends, You have to tell him No Edited June 4, 2022 by Foxhall Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 NO NO NO NO NO. This is a horrible idea. As a general rule you should never lend people money. Your friend wants a bike but doesn't have the money? That is not your problem. You're not being "insensitive" by saying no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 Your friend needs to live within his means, just like you do. You clearly don’t want to nor is it your obligation to loan money to your friend. Assert yourself and say no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seapebbles Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 Helping a friend pay rent so he doesn't get evicted is one thing, but a bike is a luxury item that he can buy when he has the extra money. It's good that he's paying you back, but he needs to be able to pay his own rent on time and stop relying on you. He won't learn to manage his money if you're always lending it to him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 100% no. Personally, I wouldn't lend a friend a significant amount of money more than once, and that one time would have to be for very unexpected extenuating circumstances. No way would I ever continuously lend someone money on a constant basis, let alone for a luxury like a nice bike. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 7 hours ago, seapebbles said: Helping a friend pay rent so he doesn't get evicted is one thing, Even if they say it's for rent, it's still a bad idea to lend people money. I don't care what it's for. Lending money is a great way to get yourself entangled in other people's problems and bring drama upon yourself. Putting up boundaries with people is very important. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 No, absolutely not. Full stop. And why can't he afford his own rent? This guy doesn't sound like a true friend. A true friend would not put you in this awkward position to begin with. I would take a big step back, stop giving him money, and see if this friend sticks around at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 On 6/2/2022 at 11:44 PM, ironpony said: My friend has been borrowing money from me to pay rent but he always pays me back so far. But now he asks me for money to buy a bike, that is almost $1000, and he doesn't want a cheap bike, because they always fail he says. You mentioned your parents manage your money, so of course lending him money makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 On 6/2/2022 at 8:44 PM, ironpony said: that is almost $1000 Don't you need that money for your movie?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 6, 2022 Share Posted June 6, 2022 I would say generally to only lend money if you'd genuinely be fine (financially) if it happened to never get paid back. Perhaps suggest to your friend that he go without the bike for a few months and save up for it instead; that's really no different from borrowing from you/paying you back except he goes without it for a few months... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 Well, your friend did somehow manage without that bike till now. Pretty sue he will be fine without it. So, no, do not give him any more money. On 6/2/2022 at 9:44 PM, ironpony said: My friend has been borrowing money from me to pay rent but he always pays me back so far. I am curious, why is that? Why he cannot afford to pay his rent. There are plenty of services that help low income individuals with the cost of the rent, food and the medical services. If he is on AISH, then he should be compensated enough. Perhaps, there are services out there that could help him with buying that bike, you never know. But this is something that he has to explore on his own. Heck, I even found out few days ago that there are veterinarians, who actually provide their services for free if a person cannot afford their pet care. And they actually come to their places as well! So, no, there is no reason for your friend to keep asking you to borrow any rent money or for you to keep giving it to him. Is he mismanaging his money by gambling or buying illegal drugs? Perhaps he should look into other living accommodations without asking you for your money. Are your parents aware that you squandering your money on your friend? Please consult with them before lending him any more. And no, whatever you do, do not give him $1000 dollars. Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 2 hours ago, Alvi said: There are plenty of services that help low income individuals with the cost of the rent, food and the medical services. Really?! I take it you're not in America! I really don't think it needs overthinking @ironpony It's fine to say no to people when you don't want to do something or it's impractical. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 (edited) 17 minutes ago, SingFish said: Really?! I take it you're not in America! Ironpony lives in Canada too. Edited June 7, 2022 by Alvi 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 7, 2022 Author Share Posted June 7, 2022 Well he is offering me quite a bit of interest in payments so he must want the bike bad for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 (edited) The fact that he wants the bike badly is irrelevant. Heck, I'd really like a second car, but we can't buy one and also meet our financial goals so we go without. This guy is an enormously bad risk. The fact that he frequently can't make it through to payday without borrowing money shows that he can't possibly repay $1000, let alone any interest. You must remember that anyone can promise anything, but that doesn't mean they can actually do it. But if you really want to do this, he should be able to demonstrate an ability to save for a down payment on the bike. Perhaps 25%. You should also see evidence of his income less regular payments of rent/loans/food/clothing/hobbies/utilities/child maintenance/alimony/entertainment. Literally go through his bank statements and run the math and see what he can afford to repay on a monthly basis. Then get him to sign a letter promising to pay you back in installments of X amount on Y dates. The letter should also have an agreed penalty for lack of repayment - the obvious penalty being that you take possession of the bike (or other collateral he agrees to put down on the loan) Obviously, this is all a lot of hard work and very uncomfortable for you. This is why most people ask banks for loans. And if the bank won't lend him money, then you shouldn't lend him money either. And if he borrows from a non-bank lender, do not bail him out when he can't repay the debt. Edited June 7, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
SingFish Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 6 hours ago, ironpony said: Well he is offering me quite a bit of interest in payments so he must want the bike bad for some reason. Do you want to lend the money? Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 (edited) On 6/2/2022 at 8:44 PM, ironpony said: My friend has been borrowing money from me to pay rent but he always pays me back so far. But now he asks me for money to buy a bike, that is almost $1000, and he doesn't want a cheap bike, because they always fail he says. He says he would be willing to pay me back over the months, but I am getting kind of tired of lending him money and keeping track, and now he wants me to lend him a lot more. I have a lot going on in my life right now, and this would be another headache for me at this time, but I don't want to be insensitive or cheap to a friend who has always paid me back so far, neither. What do you think? Thank you for any opinions on it. I really appreciate it. I try to be a pretty open minded guy but friends/family and money do not mix. If I give friends or family anything, I consider it a gift, meaning I do not expect it back. I've certainly given gifts to my friends just because in some cases, or given money knowing I wasn't going to get it back. If you know your friend is trustworthy and means what he says then by all means do what you feel is best. I almost never give loans though, not even to family members. The fact that this guy wants your money to buy something he doesn't need is a huge red flag. This is why he's in the financial bind that he's in, he has no discipline. There's a lot of stuff I really want and I have more than enough money to get it, hell I'm using the same Iphone from 2016, but I talk myself out of it because I know that's how you find yourself broke. "Doesn't want a cheap bike," well that's all he deserves. Edited June 7, 2022 by dramafreezone 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 On 6/7/2022 at 2:51 AM, ironpony said: Well he is offering me quite a bit of interest in payments so he must want the bike bad for some reason. This is completely irrelevant. It doesn't matter how bad he wants the bike, it should have nothing to do with you. The fact that this guy is trying to drag you into his financial issues and use you to buy things that he wants shows that he has very poor boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted June 8, 2022 Author Share Posted June 8, 2022 8 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This is completely irrelevant. It doesn't matter how bad he wants the bike, it should have nothing to do with you. The fact that this guy is trying to drag you into his financial issues and use you to buy things that he wants shows that he has very poor boundaries. Oh is it dragging though, or maybe it's just asking? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 It’s generally not a good idea. What happened to other means of transport? If he can pay you back on time why can’t he save the cash and do without for the time being? Decline and suggest he save up instead. Keep it short. You’re not his banker either so switch topics if he keeps haggling you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 On 6/7/2022 at 2:51 AM, ironpony said: Well he is offering me quite a bit of interest in payments so he must want the bike bad for some reason. Then why doesn't he go to a bank or use a credit card? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 8, 2022 Share Posted June 8, 2022 Here is a suggestion, why doesn't he pick up a used bike at Goodwill or Craigslist for cheap. While he is using that bike he can save up and pay cash for the $1,000 one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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