cottis Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 So i’ve known my bf for more than a year, and we have a long distance relationship. In March we just started dating. But the thing is.. he recently met some guy online, that he really likes talking to. He thinks he's funny, and they both share the same interests. They live in the same country, and the same city. The problem is just that the best friend is gay.. I don’t have a problem with that of course. But his best friend keeps making really weird sexual “jokes”, about what he would do to my bf. He just doesn’t know he is in a relationship with anyone, since my bf is too scared to tell anyone, that he has a long distance relationship.. I don’t know why he’s scared, but it’s a problem because then his best friend will continue to make these “jokes”… I’ve talked to my bf about this, but as i said, he told me he’s too scared to tell anyone he’s in a long distance relationship Someone please help, what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 6 minutes ago, cottis said: we have a long distance relationship. In March we just started dating. They live in the same country, and the same city. The problem is just that the best friend is gay..I’ve talked to my bf about this, but as i said, he told me he’s too scared to tell anyone he’s in a long distance relationship Have you met in person? Is your BF bisexual? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) How can you call a man your bf has only recently met his best friend? Is he now calling this guy his best friend? Have you seen your bf in person? Edited June 4, 2022 by stillafool 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cottis Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 No. My bf is straight, as far as i know.. He swears to me all the time that he's only straight, and cannot see any sexual attraction to men. And we're planning to meet soon Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Why are you happy to settle for a long distance arrangement, how long is that going on? You deserve a proper real life relationship meeting in-person regularly, online relationships are ok perhaps for a short while but you dont want to be wasting too much time on them. ultimately they are no substitute for the real thing. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 (edited) I'm assuming that your boyfriend also doesn't like these comments and it's not just you having a problem with them. Did he complain about it to you? How do you know his friend says these things or are you three in a shared group chat? Why can't your boyfriend simply draw a boundary and speak up and say "I'm not comfortable with those comments. Please stop it." to this new friend of his? He can't disclose he's in a long distance relationship so fine. He doesn't have to. It's risky putting yourself in this situation in the first place telling yourself you're in a one year relationship with someone you've never met and who is so limited or restricted in his freedoms. Do you mind me asking how old either of you are? What do you hope to get out of this? Will he move to your location or are you planning to move to where he is? Don't put yourself at further risk with someone you don't know very well. Take care of yourself and be cautious, regardless of what he tells you. If someone keeps making excuses or can't respect the boundaries of your relationship or help friends and family understand those boundaries, rethink the whole thing. It means you're not on the same wavelength and he's just that: making excuses. Edited June 5, 2022 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 First things first, it is never a good idea to commit yourself to a stranger you haven't even met. Second, if your boyfriend is not open about the fact that he is "dating" someone, then he doesn't consider this a real relationship either. It exists in his online world only, but not in real life offline. Hence, he doesn't set boundaries with his friend because he doesn't want anyone to know you exist. I think you are seeing why purely-digital romances don't work. I would personally call this all off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 11 hours ago, cottis said: we're planning to meet soon You're not dating, no less in a relationship if you have never met. It's ok to have penpals, but this is not "dating". At this point he may be a catfish scammer, trolling, in a relationship, whatever. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. If you would like a BF, get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting single, straight, local, real life men in person. Link to post Share on other sites
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