ShyViolet Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 2 hours ago, ironpony said: But also, is there anything I can do to make it up to them now perhaps? A really sincere apology (not over text, preferably in person) and a really nice wedding gift. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 2 hours ago, ironpony said: How do other people not beat themselves up about this kind of thing though, and just write it off as people make mistakes though? I think by processing it, by resolving it. One thing I think would help you to process it and put it behind you is to really talk to your friend about it and make a sincere apology. Once you really talk to him about it and get a sense of his reaction and whether he accepts your apology, you'll be able to put this in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, ironpony said: Thank you very much for the input! Next time there is a wedding I can try to say no to anything else for the rest of the month surrounding it, if that's best, just to be safe, besides work of course? But also, is there anything I can do to make it up to them now perhaps? You can make yourself present for certain events and excuse yourself early. It's middle ground as opposed to just not showing up. Ie. Go to each birthday party and stay for a short while, go home, catch up on any work you need to do or get better sleep. Try to avoid thinking in an all or nothing way. You can work around various commitments and just manage your time better. Of course, if a party/event is out of the way or it just doesn't make sense to make your way out there versus completing what you need to do, then decline the invitation. Offer instead to take the person out to dinner another time. Reach out and apologize. Beyond that you can't force someone else's forgiveness or make someone forgive you if they're not ready or don't want to. Stay focused on everything else you need to do and don't stress out about this to the point where you're losing sleep and unable to make other commitments. Deep breaths. Move forward. Edited May 29, 2022 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 16 hours ago, ironpony said: .I didn't have a guest and I got them a a gift. I agreed to do the photography for them, and feel bad about missing that. But he said it was fine and other people took photos, What kind of gift did you get them? You already apologized, so that's all you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 4 hours ago, basil67 said: You've apologised. As you can't go back in time and photograph their wedding, there's really nothing else you can do. Agree. It seems like you feel guilty for blowing off the wedding and just showing up for the reception party. Anyone can set an alarm. What time was the wedding? What time was the reception? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 For what it's worth, it's completely normal to feel bad for letting someone else down. And yes, you should be hard on yourself because that's where the inspiration to not repeat a mistake comes from. In time, the feelings from this will fade, but hopefully you can take the learning experience with you for the future. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted May 29, 2022 Author Share Posted May 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: What kind of gift did you get them? You already apologized, so that's all you can do. I got them some champagnes for their honeymoon trip. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted May 29, 2022 Author Share Posted May 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree. It seems like you feel guilty for blowing off the wedding and just showing up for the reception party. Anyone can set an alarm. What time was the wedding? What time was the reception? The wedding was at 10 AM and the reception at 12 PM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted May 29, 2022 Author Share Posted May 29, 2022 I could also take the photos that were taken and make them look pretty good, in terms of post work as something I would gladly do for them, if it's a good idea to ask if they would be interested in that? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 1 hour ago, ironpony said: I could also... Leave them alone for now they're enjoying their honeymoon and don't want to be responsible for your guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 7 hours ago, ironpony said: I could also take the photos that were taken and make them look pretty good, in terms of post work as something I would gladly do for them, if it's a good idea to ask if they would be interested in that? This would be a nice thing that you could offer to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted May 29, 2022 Author Share Posted May 29, 2022 13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Leave them alone for now they're enjoying their honeymoon and don't want to be responsible for your guilt. Oh yes for sure, I just meant for later on, afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted May 30, 2022 Senior Moderators Share Posted May 30, 2022 Thread closed as the question has been thoroughly answered Link to post Share on other sites
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