Alpacalia Posted May 8, 2022 Posted May 8, 2022 We haven't gotten much information from you so far @Alana_cl. Is it because you are taking his behavior personally that you are reacting to him canceling last minute and rescheduling your date? How many times have you actually had the opportunity to go out? Do you normally talk on the phone when you are not on dates? Spending too much time, energy, and emotional commitment to a guy who made a last minute decision to cancel will drain you of your energy. Instead, take advantage of this situation to learn to communicate your wants and needs, set clear boundaries, and express your real desires. Then you can be thankful he showed up to motivate you to get more intentional in your love life. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) I just don't get why dealing with family stuff means that he can't show up at the agreed day and time. Very few family things need to be dealt with in person and immediately and can't be dealt with by anyone else but him. Sure, there may be an exception but repeatedly? Nah. Especially nowadays with COVID and technology taking over, I don't see this as valid excuse. I am speaking as someone whose father has died a month ago and my mum needs lots of help with million of things. I have organized the funeral and am taking care of getting all his affairs in older. And I still didn't have to reschedule a single thing. So I just don't see it. Edited May 9, 2022 by Eternal Sunshine 3
poppyfields Posted May 9, 2022 Posted May 9, 2022 Sometimes when dealing with family, or whatever life throws at us, while sure we can make a scheduled date physically, we're just not mentally into it, and that's OK, imo.. I've been there, I'm sure many people have, it's human to feel that way sometimes, it's life. He rescheduled one day later. He was open and honest about why. After that, he told you he wanted to develop something serious with you and introduced you to his mom to show he was sincere. Bottom line Alana, if you like the man and trust him, then continue dating him and observing actions. As no doubt HE is observing your actions and responses as well. How open and flexible you are to changing circumstances and nuances. On the other hand, if you don't like him or trust him, if you think he was lying, it was an excuse, you believe he should have kept the date despite his family situation or not being mentally up to it, then don't. It's really that simple. 1
Lauriebell82 Posted May 12, 2022 Posted May 12, 2022 (edited) OP, I don't particularly like it when people cancel on me (or reschedule for that matter) BUT if there is a valid reason and it is not a recurrent pattern with them, then I can look past it. Reliability is something I look for in a relationship for sure, and if someone is not being reliable then I consider whether it's a good match with them (whether they are rescheduling or not). That being said...I would suggest instead of playing games or being less available you try talking to him about your concerns. Express empathy and tell him you understand he is having family issues, but the rescheduling is an issue and reliability is something that you look for in a relationship. Open communication is very important! Not to mention healthy. Give him a chance to make the adjustment and try to see if you guys can come up with a compromise or meet in the middle somehow regarding this issue. Edited May 12, 2022 by Lauriebell82
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