SarahJane96 Posted April 21, 2022 Share Posted April 21, 2022 My boyfriend with whom I have been going out for 3 years used to work as a team leader in a factory and worked permanent day shift and finished at 3pm. He had now started working as a truck driver and works away for a few weeks at a time and I miss him ever so much. Is this normal? What can I do to feel less stressed? I’m a petite and shy woman so I feel quite lonely and vulnerable on a night time. He is 27 and I am 26. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 (edited) l you love ea other and plan a future together , ride it out 6-12mths , maybe he decides that lifestyle and work isn't for him and quits. Fair chance if he's use to being at home and in the one spot every day he might hate being on the road and away like that. Or you both might start to like this new lifestyle and having time to yourselves , a lot of couples do after awhile. Or he loves it and wants to keep doing it in which case l suppose if your still feeling the same by then , you'll have a decision to make sorry. Edited April 22, 2022 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 8 hours ago, SarahJane96 said: I feel quite lonely and vulnerable on a night time. Do you live together? Was this an increase in salary/benefits? Install a good alarm system. Consider getting a dog . Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get a side hustle, take some classes, and courses get involved in sports and fitness. Stay busy. Reconnect to friends and family. Invite them over more often. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 Yes, it's normal for you to miss seeing him on a daily basis. Being apart a few weeks at a time is a big change for you. Wiseman2 provided good ideas for relieving stress and loneliness. If you are busy and focused on other things and other people (friends, family) you won't feel his absence so acutely. As for not feeling safe, having an alarm system installed (as suggested by Wiseman2) is a great idea. You can have all doors and windows alarmed, glass break detectors and motion sensors installed. No one is going to get in without the entire neighborhood knowing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahJane96 Posted April 22, 2022 Author Share Posted April 22, 2022 His wage has definitely increased. I work as a teacher so I’m not in the house during the day, it is on the night time that I feel the most vulnerable and lonely because in essence a TV or a book doesn’t talk. I do not want to get a dog because it wouldn’t be fair on the dog and I’m not really a dog type of person. My maternal grandparents have a little dog and I don’t mind him, but I do not want to own a dog, a cat, etc, we have a 10-foot fish tank in the dining room and a pond in our back garden because he loves fish and so feeding the fish is enough for me. I have anxiety problems when it comes to socialising with unknown people so I don’t think that I would feel comfortable joining any social clubs. I go to church with my nana on a Sunday to give her a bit of comfort and that gets me out of the house for a bit because I always take her to a pub for a Sunday dinner after mass. Our house is totally secure. We have CCTV all over the house and the windows and doors are very secure. I am starting to get used to going from work to home and no one being there, but it does seem to be getting a little easier because my mum rings me and sometimes comes around and it passes times. I have told my partner about my feelings and he told me that he misses and loves me and he understands, but he said that it’s good for us because of his new salary and he wants a future with me. He is going to be putting a lot of money away every month so we can get a home in the middle of nowhere - at the moment we live in a very small village. We have spoken about marriage and a family so we are 100% serious. I couldn’t imagine my life without him and I’m fairly certain that the feeling is mutual for him. It’s more so the night time that’s the loneliest at the moment; he used to always wake me up in the morning to go to work and then I would get myself sorted and leave to go to work. Now, I have to set an alarm and I wake up alone. My dad used to work on the oil rigs so my mother knows all about it and she has assured me that it’s just because it’s an upheaval of what we were both used to but it will get easier and also she said that it’s great because we give each other space which is a must for a relationship to be healthy and to last. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 Well it seems like you've got it all figured out, which is good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 51 minutes ago, SarahJane96 said: His wage has definitely increased. I work as a teacher so I’m not in the house during the day, it is on the night time that I feel the most vulnerable and lonely because in essence a TV or a book doesn’t talk. I do not want to get a dog because it wouldn’t be fair on the dog and I’m not really a dog type of person. My maternal grandparents have a little dog and I don’t mind him, but I do not want to own a dog, a cat, etc, we have a 10-foot fish tank in the dining room and a pond in our back garden because he loves fish and so feeding the fish is enough for me. I have anxiety problems when it comes to socialising with unknown people so I don’t think that I would feel comfortable joining any social clubs. I go to church with my nana on a Sunday to give her a bit of comfort and that gets me out of the house for a bit because I always take her to a pub for a Sunday dinner after mass. Our house is totally secure. We have CCTV all over the house and the windows and doors are very secure. I am starting to get used to going from work to home and no one being there, but it does seem to be getting a little easier because my mum rings me and sometimes comes around and it passes times. I have told my partner about my feelings and he told me that he misses and loves me and he understands, but he said that it’s good for us because of his new salary and he wants a future with me. He is going to be putting a lot of money away every month so we can get a home in the middle of nowhere - at the moment we live in a very small village. We have spoken about marriage and a family so we are 100% serious. I couldn’t imagine my life without him and I’m fairly certain that the feeling is mutual for him. It’s more so the night time that’s the loneliest at the moment; he used to always wake me up in the morning to go to work and then I would get myself sorted and leave to go to work. Now, I have to set an alarm and I wake up alone. My dad used to work on the oil rigs so my mother knows all about it and she has assured me that it’s just because it’s an upheaval of what we were both used to but it will get easier and also she said that it’s great because we give each other space which is a must for a relationship to be healthy and to last. Now that you have more time you may feel more inclined to join a few clubs and change the way you view things or find new things to do. Getting used to a new routine is hard but it takes time and it does get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 57 minutes ago, SarahJane96 said: I have anxiety problems when it comes to socialising with unknown people so I don’t think that I would feel comfortable joining any social clubs. Do you have any friends that you grew up with or went to school with? Do you have work friends? Link to post Share on other sites
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