Why do women use images with Snapchat filters on dating sites?

[Trail Blazer]

Firstly, I haven't been on a dating app since late 2019, as I've been in a relationship since that time.  However, I recall a lot of girls posting some or even all of their images with Snapchat filters.

Fast-forward to 2022 and a work buddy of mine has come out of a 23 year relationship and he's venturing the on-line dating scene for the first time ever.

My buddy is 45 and is a bit of a technophobe.  I actually helped him set up a dating profile on PoF and Bumble because he had no idea what to write and what sort of pictures to post up.

When my buddy showed me the photos he was going to post, I'm like, "Bro, no!  Women don't want to see you holding that trout or posing in dirty overalls out in the oilfields."

So, we got his profile sorted and swiped through a few profiles.  What became evident to me was the amount of women, especially on PoF, who had filtered images.  Even moreso than I recall back a few years ago.

Just... why!?

My buddy had no idea that images were filtered, and when I told him that they don't look like that IRL because the image has been filtered, he said, "so these girls are just trying to trick men?"

"No, not exactly" was my response, however I couldn't actually give him a satisfactory answer that made logical sense.  Because, well, it makes absolutely zero sense from a logocal perspective.

I'm only assuming that it's due to severe insecurities.  But in saying that, do women consider for a moment that they're misrepresenting themselves and for the unwitting, it could be the difference between someone swiping left or right?

I wonder if women think, "Well, maybe he will swipe right now, and if I don't look exactly like that when we meet up, he'll fall in love with my personality and it will all be okay".  Is that a thing?

For mine, filtered images are an instant left-swipe.  Unless she only has one or two and the rest of her images are high quality and she's attractive.  

I'd love to know why women do this?  I'm sure there are some dudes who also post filtered images, which is even more bizarre!  However, the thread title is about specifically women, and the logic and reason behind why.

Edited April 9, 2022 by Trail Blazer

[chillii]

44 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

wonder if women think, "Well, maybe he will swipe right now, and if I don't look exactly like that when we meet up, he'll fall in love with my personality and it will all be okay".  Is that a thing?

l use to think it's a complicated thing and from what women say guys do all the same stuff too. What are filtered snapchat photos though like what is that and what's snapchat got to do with just taking a damn photo. All doctored up and stuff you mean or ?

But yeah , l think it's probably pretty well what you've said there and from what women use to tell me guys do all that too. l wasn't looking at guys though but one huge thing l started to think was that women also just don't seem to even realize how they've changed either and in particular what a massive difference and extra 10kg from where they were a few yrs back makes either. When l was on a site back when some would even date photos so you saw the yrs,and go back 10 even 15yrs but maybe none of present day and l'd think what's the damn point showing how good you looked 10 15yrs ago.

Others though stressed right there on their page , up to date photos and asked for the same which l thought was really pretty cool of them tbh.

Your mate yeah , l helped my brother awhile back too. Big wake up call as l hadn't been near a DS for yrs.  But eh , the trout and at work pics, at least they're real, down to earth chicks might like to see some real to. From looking at womans pages l'd actually like some real in there myself and many did l remember too, As well as some nice ones to l mean - just thoughts though l wouldn't know but l do go for real.

Edited April 9, 2022 by chillii

[basil67]

I doubt it's about trying to trick guys.   Rather, these are likely the women who are also using filters all over insta and snapchat.  Thing is, there's a whole lot of body dysmorphia happening as influencers and celebrities edit their images and people lose touch with what a real person looks like.  They see their own faces and literally can't deal.  It's like how women compared themselves to airbrushed magazine models and got insecure....except on steroids.   Asking plastic surgeons for the "instagram face" has now become a thing.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-au/instagram-face-filters-dysmorphia

https://www.forbes.com/sites/annahaines/2021/04/27/from-instagram-face-to-snapchat-dysmorphia-how-beauty-filters-are-changing-the-way-we-see-ourselves/?sh=499209564eff

 

[chillii]

Ah thanks for those took a look.

That first one was beautifully natural , or was that doctored to ?

My d takes incredible photos , hope she doesn't feel like that bc she doesn't need to do one damn thing.

[basil67]

When you compare the photo of her to the ones below, I think it's relatively natural.  Her jaw seems more square.   But I'll lay money that she at least used a filter for the lighting - the brightness can hide a lot of "flaws".

My 22yo daughter plays with lighting effects for mood, but doesn't actively filter her looks. I've seen her dating profile and all the pics do look like her in the various ways she presents IRL.  From properly dressed up to no makeup with wet beach hair.   She does have very high self esteem, hangs in an indie crowd and doesn't follow influencers.  All this could be part of it to differing degrees.

[Trail Blazer]

48 minutes ago, chillii said:

l use to think it's a complicated thing and from what women say guys do all the same stuff too. What are filtered snapchat photos though like what is that and what's snapchat got to do with just taking a damn photo. All doctored up and stuff you mean or ?

But yeah , l think it's probably pretty well what you've said there and from what women use to tell me guys do all that too. l wasn't looking at guys though but one huge thing l started to think was that women also just don't seem to even realize how they've changed either and in particular what a massive difference and extra 10kg from where they were a few yrs back makes either. When l was on a site back when some would even date photos so you saw the yrs,and go back 10 even 15yrs but maybe none of present day and l'd think what's the damn point showing how good you looked 10 15yrs ago.

Others though stressed right there on their page , up to date photos and asked for the same which l thought was really pretty cool of them tbh.

Your mate yeah , l helped my brother awhile back too. Big wake up call as l hadn't been near a DS for yrs.  But eh , the trout and at work pics, at least they're real, down to earth chicks might like to see some real to. From looking at womans pages l'd actually like some real in there myself and many did l remember too, As well as some nice ones to l mean - just thoughts though l wouldn't know but l do go for real.

I'm not sure if your question was about why specifically Snapchat?  If you've never used Snapchat before, I get that you'd not really get it.  If you haven't, then Snapchat filters are very distinctive.

Just like my man, who's only "heard of Snapchat" because it's something his 19-year-old daughter uses, he looked at me bemused when I informed him that those images are Snapchat filtered.

As for the trout and coveralls - sure, the dude just wants to show off his authentic self.  We work in the oilfields, so he wants to convey openly thay he's hard working (and subtly) that he earns good money.

I just recall reading many women's profiles saying, "if you pose with a fish it's an instant no from me."  Same goes with the dirty work uniform.  However, perhaps he and I have always sought a different kind of lady?

We settled on some decent enough photos.  I told him that the big bearded lumberjack looking dude who loves camping and fishing by the Colorado River can still be conveyed, sans actually posing with the fish.

We'll see how he goes.  Right now he's talking to two women on PoF, but is having less luck on Bumble given that we're in a remote area at work and GPS-based dating apps are not really ideal if you're not in the location you want to date.

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

I doubt it's about trying to trick guys.   Rather, these are likely the women who are also using filters all over insta and snapchat.  Thing is, there's a whole lot of body dysmorphia happening as influencers and celebrities edit their images and people lose touch with what a real person looks like.  They see their own faces and literally can't deal.  It's like how women compared themselves to airbrushed magazine models and got insecure....except on steroids.   Asking plastic surgeons for the "instagram face" has now become a thing.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-au/instagram-face-filters-dysmorphia

https://www.forbes.com/sites/annahaines/2021/04/27/from-instagram-face-to-snapchat-dysmorphia-how-beauty-filters-are-changing-the-way-we-see-ourselves/?sh=499209564eff

 

Yeah, it makes sense.  From the articles you've posted, I suspected as much.  However, what I'm still missing is the disconnect between what women want to look like and how they'd reconcile not looking anything like that when they turn up to a date.

What are they thinking?  What's the logic?

For mine, it's just as bad as positing a non-filtered image that was taken 10-15 years ago when the woman was 40 lbs lighter, or the dude had hair and lacked the beer gut he's since aquired.

It makes absolutely no sense.  None whatsoever.  In fact, I loved being told that I looked exactly like my profile photos.  It made my date happier when I appeared to be completely authentic.

For mine, it just made such little sense to do anything different.  How can someone (especially women) expect anything authentic and genuine to come about from creating a profile based on false preferences.

Hence, I can only surmise that women think they'll attract more men with their filtered images, or guys won't care because they'll think it's "cute and creative" and further delude themselves by hoping when they meet up it won't matter.

I know for a fact that my buddy, who's a little rough around the edges but has a heart of gold, would be pretty unhappy if he met a woman who looked nothing like her photos.  He's honest to a fault and just one of those genuine people who expects little from others except for the same in return.

[basil67]

As it so happens, my daughter just dropped in for a brief visit.  We have no idea what their thought process is.  You're right that it's no different to using an old photo which looks nothing like us or lying about height.  Or a load of makeup done in the style where the person looks nothing like their actual selves.   I guess they just don't think it through.

The only thing that daughter added is that recognising snap chat filters is fairly easy when you know what you're looking for, so people are wise to be on the lookout so they can swipe left.  Your mate is lucky that you can show him.  However, she says that the 'face tuning' is far harder to detect and, in her view, far more insidious.  

I don't know...I guess that both men and women need to not over invest before meeting someone. 

Edited April 10, 2022 by basil67

[Trail Blazer]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

As it so happens, my daughter just dropped in for a brief visit.  We have no idea what their thought process is.  You're right that it's no different to using an old photo which looks nothing like us or lying about height.  Or a load of makeup done in the style where the person looks nothing like their actual selves.   I guess they just don't think it through.

The only thing that daughter added is that recognising snap chat filters is fairly easy when you know what you're looking for, so people are wise to be on the lookout so they can swipe left.  Your mate is lucky that you can show him.  However, she says that the 'face tuning' is far harder to detect and, in her view, far more insidious.  

I don't know...I guess that both men and women need to not over invest before meeting someone. 

Do you regularly run past your daughter the current conundrums plaguing the LS community? 😆

Thanks for your reponse.  I've always considered you a fairly practical and level-headed female.  Perhaps owing to the fact that you're Aussie and everyone down there seems less pretentious and more laid-back.

I wonder if the Aussie girls use Snapchat filters to the same extent!? 🤔

I'm not aware of this 'face tuning' feature myself!  I use Snapchat regularly, but playing with filters isn't something that I do frequently.  I just know how to spot an obviously filtered image.

As for my "mate", yeah he's very green when it comes to this stuff.  Never used a dating site and was married for 20 years.  He certainly needed his hand held for the first week or so navigating this new world of dating. 😆

[poppyfields]

2 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

I just recall reading many women's profiles saying, "if you pose with a fish it's an instant no from me."  Same goes with the dirty work uniform.

And if I were a man, my response to that would be good riddance!  Any woman who posted that on her profile is NOT a woman any man should want to meet, imho.

And not because she doesn't like pics with fish but because she sounds entitled and has zero class.

I mean lord have mercy, what the heck is wrong with some women posting that?! If she doesn't like his pictures, next him, easy peasy, listing a bunch of don't's on a dating profile  is just so low level.  Next.

About the filtered pics, is it really that much different from wearing makeup?  

A man could meet a woman IRL, begin dating and eventually he will see her without makeup and what's he gonna do, next her because she 'deceived' him?

I could understand lying about weight, body type or height or posting old photos from 10 years ago, THAT is deception, but giving women the benefit of doubt AND men cause heck I've seen plenty of filtered pics from men too, we all want to look our best, put our best foot forward when getting our photos taken. 

Professional photographers do this all the time. 

Speaking personally, I was more inclined to downplay my appearance on my profile and heard "you're much prettier in person than your pics" which was nice to hear.  I'm very natural anyway so it wasn't a huge difference.

Versus the other way around (or have men thinking it) which IS the risk one takes when posting filtered pics or even pics wearing a lot of makeup.

Just my take. 

 

 

 

Edited April 10, 2022 by poppyfields

[Alpacalia]

How does your friend feel about breast implants?

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, Alpacalia said:

How does your friend feel about breast implants?

He's a little bit conservative.  I'd imagine his response would be, "if god didn't put them there then they don't belong there."

[Trail Blazer]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

And if I were a man, my response to that would be good riddance!  Any woman who posted that on her profile is NOT a woman any man should want to meet, imho.

And not because she doesn't like pics with fish but because she sounds entitled and has zero class.

I mean lord have mercy, what the heck is wrong with some women posting that?! If she doesn't like his pictures, next him, easy peasy, listing a bunch of don't's on a dating profile  is just so low level.  Next.

About the filtered pics, is it really that much different from wearing makeup?  

A man could meet a woman IRL, begin dating and eventually he will see her without makeup and what's he gonna do, next her because she 'deceived' him?

I could understand lying about weight, body type or height or posting old photos from 10 years ago, THAT is deception, but giving women the benefit of doubt AND men cause heck I've seen plenty of filtered pics from men too, we all want to look our best, put our best foot forward when getting our photos taken. 

Professional photographers do this all the time. 

Speaking personally, I was more inclined to downplay my appearance on my profile and heard "you're much prettier in person than your pics" which was nice to hear.  I'm very natural anyway so it wasn't a huge difference.

Versus the other way around (or have men thinking it) which IS the risk one takes when posting filtered pics or even pics wearing a lot of makeup.

Just my take. 

 

 

 

Poppy, are you aware of just how much Snapchat filters alter the way someone looks?  Comparing Snapchat filters to make-up is a false equivalence in my opinion. 

You can still make yourself look like you do with make-up because you literally look like you, just with make-up.  Snapchat filters completely alter your facial structure, everything...

As for the downplaying of appearance, you sound like my GF.  That's exactly what she does, but she's lucky to look so good 'natural'.  When I met her on our first date I was blown away by how much better she looked IRL.

As for the fish photos, would you swipe right on a mid-40s man who's a spitting image of Zach Galifinakis, wearing a flannel shirt whilst ankle deep in the Colorado River brandishing his freshly caught trout?

If your answer is yes, perhaps you're more of an outlier than the norm.  I just know how tricky it can be for dudes to get responses from women on dating apps and I'm just trying to help a brother out here by giving him advice that will maximize his appeal.

Edited April 10, 2022 by Trail Blazer

[basil67]

Hi @Trail Blazer yes I do sometimes ask my daughter stuff from LS.  I share Gen X wisdom and she teaches me about what it's like to be a young person these days.  Topics such as these make for good conversation.  We are very open

 I think there is a fair amount of photo filtering going on here: daughter reckons it's the insecure women who do that.  She also says that she deliberately avoids 'influencers' because she's scared of going down the rabbit hole of starting to think that fake is normal.  And these are the words of a very self confident young woman.  Scares me to imagine how insecure women may get caught up in it all.  

Face tuning is more like Photoshop than a filter.  The results are similar to the discreet airbrushing which we'd see on glossy magazine models. 

Regarding makeup, I know where @poppyfields is coming from.  Yes, soft makeup like I use on occasion (I mostly don't wear makeup) takes me just a few mins to do a bit of brush on matt cover, some blush, natural lipstick and quick wave mascara and it doesn't change my appearance much.  But have a look at the link below about contouring.  It's a new trend where a lot of fake shadow is added and the woman becomes unrecognisable.    My friend went for a wedding makeup trial last year and they glamorised her so much that the next day her fiancé texted me in a panic worried that he'd feel like he was marrying a stranger.  Thankfully, she went with a look that was more her and was perfect on the day. 

https://justtrendygirls.com/before-and-after-contouring-tutorials/

I'm afraid this is getting very off the topic of what they expect when men see the 'real' them.  I've often wondered the same thing myself.   But I guess people have been surprised by weight, height, baldness, etc since OLD began.  

Edited April 10, 2022 by basil67

[Alpacalia]

47 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

He's a little bit conservative.  I'd imagine his response would be, "if god didn't put them there then they don't belong there."

Okay.

So from what I gather, he's not having much luck with women being interested in him?

So what exactly does that have to do with snapchat filters?

 

[Trail Blazer]

Just now, Alpacalia said:

Okay.

So from what I gather, he's not having much luck with women being interested in him?

So what exactly does that have to do with snapchat filters?

 

Well, no.  He's had about three replies in a week of PoF.  Aaaaand, he put his trout photo up!  At least he didn't put up the one in his MAGA cap! 😳

He just told about five minutes ago as we took a meal break on the graveyard shift, "if some broad don't [sic] like me for who I am then I'd rather just spend the night in with my dogs."

As for what that has to do with Snapchat filters... you have it "arse about" (as they'd day down under - right, @basil67?).  I created the thread asking about Snapchat filters - my buddy's plight just happens to be the context around why I asked.

[basil67]

Not a bad outcome at all for a guy who's just starting over  

[Trail Blazer]

3 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Not a bad outcome at all for a guy who's just starting over  

You think?  Three replies in a week and he's sent over 100 messages.  Two have already stopped replying "for no reason" and the other one replies once a day.

He lives in Denver, a city of about three-million in the metro area.  I'd (and he) had hoped he'd get a larger response rate than that.  Perhaps it's the trout photo after all!? 🤣🐟

[basil67]

I also discussed the fish photo with daughter  🤔  She says, and I agree, that a trout photo is fine as long as he doesn't lead with it.  He should lead with a photo where he's dressed really nice and put the trout near the end.  But I'm sure you're on top of this 😉

 

[Alpacalia]

Posing with an animal carcass is sexy.

It's like saying "look at my brawn - I caught this big fish, killed it, and now I'm going to gut it and eat it."

[Trail Blazer]

17 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I also discussed the fish photo with daughter  🤔  She says, and I agree, that a trout photo is fine as long as he doesn't lead with it.  He should lead with a photo where he's dressed really nice and put the trout near the end.  But I'm sure you're on top of this 😉

 

He's not the kind of guy to get dressed up.  The only hope of that might have been his daughter's high school graduation or prom night but I believe none of that eventuated because of Covid.

I asked him what his main photo was and he showed me.  It's not a bad photo, he's sitting casually on his property posing with his German Shepherd.  Not a selfie, his daughter took it.  He's smiling, face clearly visible and not wearing shades.

[basil67]

Well a dog guy is a good guy.  And a smile is far more appealing than a wanky pout with abs showing  

Edited April 10, 2022 by basil67

[Trail Blazer]

4 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Posing with an animal carcass is sexy.

It's like saying "look at my brawn - I caught this big fish, killed it, and now I'm going to gut it and eat it."

That's good to know.  Because that's exactly what he did!  Filleted it and ate it cooked it on a pan over the fire.

I won't tell him that, though.  I can't go giving him a big head and losing faith in my ability to be his OLD wing man! 😅

[basil67]

6 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Posing with an animal carcass is sexy.

It's like saying "look at my brawn - I caught this big fish, killed it, and now I'm going to gut it and eat it."

I'd be happy with a guy who would take me fishing but do all the dirty work for me... 

[Trail Blazer]

Am I right to ward him off photos where he's posing with his truck and guns?  That like, a tad too redneck, yeah?  Or do women find that sexy, too? 🤔