chillii Posted April 5, 2022 Posted April 5, 2022 On 3/23/2022 at 11:35 AM, basil67 said: @jdesey If you want to meet a woman randomly, this advice rocks. Telling a woman that she's really nice/interesting/fun and you'd like to meet her again is so much better than the traditional objectification where a guy compliments her looks and then asks for a date. Do you have a social group of any kind where you can get chatting to women who are in the same proximity...or friends of friends? Funny , l never usually picked up random women but if l did the last thing l'd do is straight up comment on her looks, means nothing, so it surprised me that guys do that then. But eh, l thought what Mark said sounded pretty cool too. 1
chillii Posted April 5, 2022 Posted April 5, 2022 (edited) 13 hours ago, SumGuy said: Somewhat, with the age, fit, handsome to some (those who wanted to date me), grown kids, divorced years ago, live near a major metropolitan area as well. Otherwise found dating, and especially OLD, at our age to be the golden age. Easiest time of my life and fewest "games" and most sex. I attribute it to being old enough to know what you want and how to recognize it, that and a near complete lack of fear of rejection as at my age have faced enough hardships and tragedy that a women not wanting to go out with me or not returning my message doesn't even register. Yeah l found the same after divorce. It was pretty cool like that there was a knowing now, no need for bs. And plenty around too as 40s and 50s is when marriages hit the fan so a lot of people out there starting over. But of course finding the right one, that was still sane or not bogged down with ex's or bitter or serious trust issues or any other of 100 things and someone you could fall in love and build a new future with, was a kinda nother kettle of fish and where the difficulties arose. Edited April 5, 2022 by chillii
SumGuy Posted April 5, 2022 Posted April 5, 2022 On 4/4/2022 at 1:06 PM, Happy Lemming said: I understand... Yes, if a guy is introverted, he has to pretend to be extroverted. He has to mimic what extroverted guys do and say. I know that is easier said than done. In my youth, I watched what guys (who were successful with women) did. Initially, I did what they did and eventually developed my own game/skillz.... Different process for me. People I think confuse introverted with not social. I like to be social but for me to truly recharge I need alone time, lots of it. What helped me is to not view it as trying to mimic anyone or trying to impress or fit in. Rather, I approach it like any other thing I get interested in, so instead of it being motorcycles it is people. And for me a genuine desire to just have a conversation, hear their ideas, laugh, joke, etc. It's easy because it is not fake, it's not extroversion it is just being interested in other's experience. Once you approach it in a way that is not about impressing the other person, conforming, or seeking validation through the interaction it is easy. Extroverts have issue here to, they can be seeking validation through the interaction and they work hard at that. I can see how it appears as a game because if she is an extrovert, or insecure, then providing validation, even facile validation, can work. Pretty sure I did the opposite of what guys with "game" do, at least as "game" is described on the internet. It's no game, or seeking to impress, for me it's talking to folks as folks first...not as potential sexual partners. You have yourself in that space and can talk to her in that space then the flirting comes later and naturally after an initial connection that you are interesting to talk to regardless of your looks, sex, etc. In that regard they are skills, but people skills, skills that can work with anyone. All you have to have is something interesting to say and listen to what they say, see them not just looks. 2
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