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Being blown off by someone I work for?


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One of my jobs is as an assistant coach for a travel youth baseball academy in the evenings on weekends. I also have my own private lessons and clinics I put on, for a very good hourly wage. Most of my clients are from this youth academy I work for. I usually have about 5 clients a week but wanted to add more this winter. Just before Thanksgiving, I suggested to the owner and founder (call him MC) of the youth academy if I could send out a mass email with a flyer to the parents of the organization promoting my instruction. He said sure, type a flyer and send it over and he'll send it out within the week. Should take about less than two minutes for him to do. So, I did. 

On Thanksgiving, he sends me a really nice messaging saying he's thankful for our friendship and all the great work I do for him. I reciprocate and send him a nice message back. 

So a few weeks pass, and I noticed I didn't get any parents calling me or emailing me about my instruction, so I messaged MC if he had gotten a chance to send it out. No response. Not super unusual, he runs a few of his own business and has a family, so he IS busy and occasionally doesn't respond. A week later, I texted him again, no response. Then, the next week, I text him and ask him if he did it, and if not can he give me the parents email addresses so I can just do it myself so he doesn't have to. He finally responds with a BS blow off response, saying that he wanted to give the kids a few weeks off (BS), he's been very busy, he'll do it next week. Pretty snooty undertones to the message too. So I reply saying OK I understand, just wanted to keep opening my mouth and be persistent about this because I would really like the extra clients. No response. 

A couple weeks later, I saw him at a youth clinic that he put on for his academy and he seemed mostly normal. He texted me about something pretty trivial about a week after. I was out of town so I didn't say anything about the flyer. 

When I got back, I texted him again, saying if there's some reason why he's unwilling to do this favor for me, I respect that, but I sent him an updated flyer, and to let me know if he did it or not. No response. Now the youth academy should be starting to start back up again in the next two weeks and I haven't heard anything from him. He does look at my stories on Instagram and I see him active on Facebook. 

I feel really blown off. I've been working for his academy for four years, been extremely loyal and supportive to his program, he's never had a problem getting me more clients but now suddenly he's completely blowing me off and ignoring me. I've done great private work with his players that would really only benefit his youth academy if he got me more clients, and me as well getting more paid work hours. 

I don't know if this is a power move on his part or what. It doesn't make me respect him more. If anything, I'm losing respect for him, and if I didn't have such a high opinion of him going into this winter and a history with his program, I wouldn't be coming back this spring after that treatment. 

How do I handle this situation?

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Are you saying that you both organize youth clinics and private lessons for the same client base? 

I think it’s numbers and he needs the money. He’s not going to tell you that. If they sign up with you why would they sign up with him? 

I wouldn’t text about this. If you see him in person have a conversation about it or bring up the topic. It’s not to push for the favour or him sending out your flyer but to speak with him about the business in general. Keep things open ended and neutral.

Edited by glows
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Get a good profile on LinkedIn. Include your experience, education and qualifications. Along with your contact info.

Join some professional groups. Upload your contact lists and see who is on there that you know. Connect with coworkers and former classes,etc.

You'll have to promote your private lessons on your own. This employer seems to think it's a conflict of interests. Also advertise locally. 

Your employer may not feel comfortable giving out clients' email addresses for the purposes of your private business promotions.

 

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10 hours ago, glows said:

Are you saying that you both organize youth clinics and private lessons for the same client base? 

I think it’s numbers and he needs the money. He’s not going to tell you that. If they sign up with you why would they sign up with him? 

I wouldn’t text about this. If you see him in person have a conversation about it or bring up the topic. It’s not to push for the favour or him sending out your flyer but to speak with him about the business in general. Keep things open ended and neutral.

OK I might need to clarify this, I work for his academy. The academy is two full seasons of baseball each year with practices 3 nights a week, which I am a big part of. 

My private instruction is weekly 1 hour lessons and he's never had a problem setting me up with private clients my way out of our academy. It's not really competition to his academy so much as symbiotic lol. In fact, it was his idea in the first place that I even start doing private instruction. 

But yes, either way you're probably right, I probably will talk about it with him in person. He's done a lot for me over the years so I'm not going to come at him hot headed or anything. It's not the fact that he doesn't want to do this favor for me, it's that he's giving me absolutely no time of day that bothers me more than anything. 

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7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Get a good profile on LinkedIn. Include your experience, education and qualifications. Along with your contact info.

Join some professional groups. Upload your contact lists and see who is on there that you know. Connect with coworkers and former classes,etc.

You'll have to promote your private lessons on your own. This employer seems to think it's a conflict of interests. Also advertise locally. 

Your employer may not feel comfortable giving out clients' email addresses for the purposes of your private business promotions.

 

Yes it's looking like I'll have to. I do have linkedIn and have an app called coachUp. I have a couple clients from these but i find they are less consistent that ones from the youth academy. 

He has sent promotion out in past for my private instruction, just never as per my request. It's like he wants to be entirely in control of whether I get lessons or not. Maybe he has a good reason for that. I just find it strange he was all gung ho about sending it out for me, then just blew me off time and time again. If he didn't want to do it, that's fine, but the lack of communication and the one BS response I got makes me feel a little undervalued. 

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43 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

I just find it strange he was all gung ho about sending it out for me, then just blew me off

That's what stood out to me as well. If he doesn't want to send out flyers on your behalf, he should tell you upfront. And if he agreed at first, just to change his mind later, he should tell you that as well. It's rude and unprofessional to just ignore your text messages, as you guys basically have verbally agreed on how to proeed. [It may have been better to call him instead of texting him, but that's just my general preference in a business environment; but it wouldn't have made much of a difference, I suppose]

Since you work for him (employee or contractor, doesn't matter), I am surprised that he isn't worried about his attitude potentially affecting your guys' business relationship.

I hope you can work it out!

 

Edited by Pumpernickel
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49 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

OK I might need to clarify this, I work for his academy. The academy is two full seasons of baseball each year with practices 3 nights a week, which I am a big part of. 

My private instruction is weekly 1 hour lessons and he's never had a problem setting me up with private clients my way out of our academy. It's not really competition to his academy so much as symbiotic lol. In fact, it was his idea in the first place that I even start doing private instruction. 

But yes, either way you're probably right, I probably will talk about it with him in person. He's done a lot for me over the years so I'm not going to come at him hot headed or anything. It's not the fact that he doesn't want to do this favor for me, it's that he's giving me absolutely no time of day that bothers me more than anything. 

I'd go into it humbly and not expect anything. It is, afterall, a favour. It's difficult if let's say you grew accustomed to it and rely on the income. I'd level with him in a non-imposing way and just let him know that you would appreciate the extra business. 

If he says no or he'd rather not this year, then you'll just have to respect that. I would be a bit put off also and make a note to myself not to rely on him in future. 

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Update: I got a text from him last night. He gave me some excuses about why he didn't do it, but he did say that he finally got around to doing it, and will be adding a section to the youth academy website promoting the assistant coach's private work. It's a little annoying it took so long but of course I will forgive him. I played for his college summer program for 3 seasons and have been coaching for his academy for 4 years, so we've built enough of a history and bond to move past this, and I'm just glad I finally got some communication and that he finally did it. 

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