Conflicted About Drugs and People

[Mista Luna]

Dear Readers,

Hello again, ML here. I hope this post finds you well. I'm writing in the hopes of...gaining a bit of perspective. (As Ego from Ratatouille says )

I met this person back in November on a matchmaking app. We aren't exactly close enough to define anything, but I wouldn't say that our connection is completely 'face value'. 

Recently this person has been expressing their interest in doing Molly...And that makes me worry. They're very much afflicted by their severe trauma, and cope with drugs. I also have past bad experiences with people who have done...very troubling things whilst under the influence, and don't know how to respond or interact. Weed was tolerable because I'm now surrounded by positive people that have somewhat normalized it for me. 

I have the urge to cut them from my life because I know that I'm in no position to tell them to stop (How can I in the face of their past? We aren't exactly close either.), and it is likely that I might feel the same way as I did back then. I ask them if there's anything I can do to help and they always thank me and play it off. I don't know how I'd help in the first place. 

Is it selfish of me to want to do so? To abandon somebody who's sharing that they're going through a low point? (Even if we're not close.) How could I help if I chose to stay?

Thank you for your time,
ML

[glows]

Stay in your own lane as you have. No, it is not selfish. Matchmaking and dating is not the time nor place to be administering advice about drugs or being someone’s life coach. 

The point of dating or matching with someone is to meet another individual who matches you in your tastes, interests, lifestyle, goals and so on. 

If you have trouble setting boundaries, now is a good time to establish them and take a step back. You seem to know that responding is not a good idea but you’re wobbling in your resolve. You don’t need to respond to that person. He/she is not a match so block and delete the number. 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Mista Luna said:

Recently this person has been expressing their interest in doing Molly...And that makes me worry. 

MDMA is illegal in most countries. Don't waste your time on people who do illegal drugs. 

[Alpacalia]

Nope, it's not selfish of you to not want to date someone that takes illegal drugs.

Remember that one day you may find yourself doing the same thing.

Those reasons are validating enough to walk away and want the best for yourself.

[Taramere]

Totally with the others on this.  I'd add, in response to this part

Quote

 

I ask them if there's anything I can do to help and they always thank me and play it off. I don't know how I'd help in the first place. 

Is it selfish of me to want to do so? To abandon somebody who's sharing that they're going through a low point? (Even if we're not close.) How could I help if I chose to stay?

 

Choosing not to stay, and politely telling them why, is probably the best thing you can do for them. If he's all confident about how okay it is for him to do drugs (which he probably will be, because people who use drugs are good at denying to themselves and others that it's in any way a problem) just wish him good luck and leave it there.  Let him know your position, but don't get drawn into any argument with him about it. 

Maybe it'll take 4 or 5 women, or 9 or 10, or maybe a lot more before he gets the message that perhaps drugs aren't such a great idea.   More likely he'll find somebody who'll be more than happy do drugs with him.  Better for you not to be that woman, but every day you spend trying to build a relationship with somebody who "expresses an interest" in taking drugs is one day closer to finding yourself persuaded into doing drugs with him.