Wiseman2 Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 On 1/10/2022 at 1:35 AM, Alpaca said: Are there things that men wish that we knew more about or that women do that you really love? Throw away the Venus and Mars books and just tell it straight up. All the "I feel unloved and invalidated when you don't take out the trash" seems like a lot of unnessary discussion. 1
poppyfields Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: My wife accepts me just as I am. In my experience, this^. Men just want to be accepted for who they are -- their flaws, their past, all of it. I never mentioned this before, but one of my long term ex's had served time in prison when younger but completely turned his life around after that. I admired him for it! There was a thread about this asking women if they would date a man who had been in prison and there was so much judgment and negatively. When a man feels loved and accepted for who he is, negative and positive, and that acceptance is genuine, that is the greatest gift a woman could ever give. I've had boyfriends tell me this so I know it's true. Edited January 11, 2022 by poppyfields 2 1
poppyfields Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 10 hours ago, Dis said: Well I didn't like a man for who he was I'd just leave. That's precisely the point Dis. Its OK to not accept him and leave. That is what you should do! But so many women don't leave, they stay and try to change him or they hold things they can't accept against him. Hassle him, nag him about one thing or the other. Men can feel this non-acceptance and it's downhill from there. You are 100% correct. If you can't accept him, as is, leave. You'd be doing both of you a big favor. 3
Happy Lemming Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 8 minutes ago, poppyfields said: But so many women don't leave, they stay and try to change him... 100% Agree... don't try to change me. As another poster pointed out, I'm not a "Build-a-bear". Take me as I am or throw me back in the pond. I'll swim away just fine and find the next one. 3 1
SumGuy Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 On 1/10/2022 at 1:35 AM, Alpaca said: So I was wondering what are some of the things that men really want or enjoy in a relationship or dating in general? Are there things that men wish that we knew more about or that women do that you really love? Does it make sense to adjust expectations about certain things is something I wonder about. I believe everyone likes to feel appreciated and important but don't think there is any one size fits all way to really impress. For all the things I like can think of guy friends have know where it is not much to them or annoys them. I believe it comes down to their love language to really impress. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted January 11, 2022 Author Posted January 11, 2022 I thought it would be interesting to hear some comments from men about the things they feel appreciated for a change. Also because I had the pleasure of being acquainted and dating someone that has really given an eye opener. Maybe love language plays a very important role in this. I also appreciated some of the other comments. 1
dramafreezone Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) Guys are pretty simple IMO. It's just about finding out what makes that guy tick and caring enough to make him feel appreciated. I just think all of the dating books and talk shows have complicated the hell out of something very simple. All of those things have been telling women how to get what they want and not how to foster mutually beneficial relationships. Then PUA culture started as a response and all of a sudden dating has become this adversarial endeavor instead of a collaborative one, each side is now largely in it for themselves. Edited January 11, 2022 by dramafreezone 1 1
Shining One Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 I'm a bit of an anomaly, but I feel most appreciated by actions, especially during early dating. These actions can vary: She can plan a date, pay a bill, cook something, etc. I'd be willing to accept a FWB who only utilized words of appreciation, but I require more than that to consider her relationship material. 1 1
Author Alpacalia Posted January 11, 2022 Author Posted January 11, 2022 6 hours ago, SumGuy said: I believe everyone likes to feel appreciated and important but don't think there is any one size fits all way to really impress. For all the things I like can think of guy friends have know where it is not much to them or annoys them. I believe it comes down to their love language to really impress. Thanks SumGuy. Yes, I pretty much figured that. I've read a little about "love languages" before. Totally agree that we need to see and accept our partner as a "different" person. And, we must often find ways to understand and accommodate someone who is different from us. When it does happen, it can be difficult. Many women tend to get the lion’s share in relation to say, for example, their appearance and/or how they make men feel. But, there have definitely been times when I've felt as if I could accomplish so much more in my life simply by having good men in my life.
Interstellar Posted January 12, 2022 Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) Don’t talk to me about your problems after a long day at work. Give me at least 30 minutes of space, peace, and to clear my head and find my center and all that new age stuff, then we can talk and yeah nagging aka the most underreported crime in america sucks too. Edited January 12, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
Author Alpacalia Posted January 12, 2022 Author Posted January 12, 2022 5 hours ago, Interstellar said: Don’t talk to me about your problems after a long day at work. Give me at least 30 minutes of space, peace, and to clear my head and find my center and all that new age stuff, then we can talk and yeah nagging aka the most underreported crime in america sucks too. It's the same for me. Whenever I get home from work or school, I enjoy relaxing. The topic mentioned here is a good one. What's considered "harpy" behavior? (please be gentle ) 1
Foxhall Posted January 12, 2022 Posted January 12, 2022 (edited) I dont think the more primal instinct of men has come up yet, perhaps the guys are holding back ,as you are clearly a nice refined lady , Alpaca! I think the more basic instinct view has to be shared for the credibility of the thread, (not saying its my personal view or anything!) many guys want the wow factor, they want their partner to be slim and beautiful, to have nice hair, gorgeous soft skin, to maintain themselves in good shape, to carry themselves with class and elegance, to be smart and have stimulating conversations they want a lady who will keep the spark going by having spontaneous sex, also giving them nice massages and oral sex, giving their man lots of love in-essence. allowing their man to in-turn enjoy their body and pleasure them, they appreciate a lady who enjoys her body and is perfectly at ease walking naked around the house, they appreciate a lady who looks hot in a bikini, who can look sexy and stunning in a black or red dress they desire the beautiful lady on their arm, who will turn heads at social events, ok thats some men, others then may be somewhat intimidated by all that and do not want it, they will be content with more quiet down to earth types of women, who will have their back and support them, [ ] Edited January 12, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator racial stereotyping 1
Author Alpacalia Posted January 13, 2022 Author Posted January 13, 2022 On 1/12/2022 at 2:18 AM, Foxhall said: I dont think the more primal instinct of men has come up yet, perhaps the guys are holding back ,as you are clearly a nice refined lady , Alpaca! I think the more basic instinct view has to be shared for the credibility of the thread, (not saying its my personal view or anything!) many guys want the wow factor, they want their partner to be slim and beautiful, to have nice hair, gorgeous soft skin, to maintain themselves in good shape, to carry themselves with class and elegance, to be smart and have stimulating conversations they want a lady who will keep the spark going by having spontaneous sex, also giving them nice massages and oral sex, giving their man lots of love in-essence. allowing their man to in-turn enjoy their body and pleasure them, they appreciate a lady who enjoys her body and is perfectly at ease walking naked around the house, they appreciate a lady who looks hot in a bikini, who can look sexy and stunning in a black or red dress they desire the beautiful lady on their arm, who will turn heads at social events, ok thats some men, others then may be somewhat intimidated by all that and do not want it, they will be content with more quiet down to earth types of women, who will have their back and support them, [ ] Thanks Foxhall. Let's not talk so much about me. 1
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