Alpacalia Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 (edited) So I was wondering what are some of the things that men really want or enjoy in a relationship or dating in general? Are there things that men wish that we knew more about or that women do that you really love? Does it make sense to adjust expectations about certain things is something I wonder about. Edited January 10, 2022 by Alpaca 1
Uruktopi Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 An interesting topic! Thinking on it. Or, to be honest, since another morning coffee makes me possible to begin thinking.... 1
Foxhall Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 (edited) In terms of the early stages of dating, a man likes to know if his companion enjoyed the date, such as my present relationship, one of our first dates we went hiking, she took time to tell me she was enjoying the date, that made me warm to her more, ok there may be some connection here (that being said, if you are not enjoying the date, no point pretending either!) Edited January 10, 2022 by Foxhall 1 1
Gaeta Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 They want to feel appreciated, I think appreciation goes a long way with a man. It doesn't have to be grand gestures, appreciation for the small things they do for us. Showing we noticed and we appreciate it. 2 1
central Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 Appreciation or just noticing and commenting on the things we do. Even if a guy isn't really doing enough, saying something positive when he does may encourage him to do more - over time, you may just reach the point where he IS doing enough. Negative feedback seldom inspires improvement. 1
mark clemson Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 (edited) Just like women, every man is unique, so no generalization is going to be true for all of them. Some general tendencies that may often be true - men like feeling appreciated and respected, NOT being vented on, doing "little things" for them, bothering to maintain your appearance, being supportive at important times. Not that different from what many women like. Many men (but not all) may appreciate frequent and varied sex more than a typical woman does. Many men (but not all) may respond less strongly to and/or care less about what you might term "conversational intimacy" than a typical woman does. There are exceptions to every generalization (including mine) and any individual person will ultimately be idiosyncratic in at least some ways. So it'll always be necessary to try to feel one's partner out a bit as to how they actually are. Edited January 10, 2022 by mark clemson 1
Happy Lemming Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 I want to agree with the other posters, we enjoy hearing a compliment, now and then. Cut us some slack if a date fails, sometimes the best thought out plans go awry... keep in mind, we did try. Say something like "even though XYZ happened on our date, I still had fun and it was a great idea." In my opinion, men are simple creatures -- feed us and sleep with us and we are happy. 1
Els Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 11 hours ago, Alpaca said: Does it make sense to adjust expectations about certain things is something I wonder about. What do you mean by this? Care to elaborate?
Author Alpacalia Posted January 10, 2022 Author Posted January 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, Elswyth said: What do you mean by this? Care to elaborate? Not at this time. 1
Otter2569 Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 Thoughtfulness and initiative goes a long way with me: like surprising me by picking up my favorite beer, or asking me out on a date or setting aside time to watch my favorite team / show. Being a thoughtful partner is important to me. 1
dramafreezone Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 All of the above listed things are good. To add, what's always resonated with me is if the woman I'm dating takes an interest in what I like. Watch the game with me once in a while, not every day but sometimes, and not because I asked you to. Just be pleasant, bring peace into his life instead of conflict. We don't want an adversary or another mother. A man wants a woman that has his back. 1 1
Woggle Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 It is hard to put into words but the fact that I general get that loving feeling and tenderness from my wife makes me want to go out of my way to make her happy. 2 1
dramafreezone Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 39 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: Thoughtfulness and initiative goes a long way with me: like surprising me by picking up my favorite beer, or asking me out on a date or setting aside time to watch my favorite team / show. Being a thoughtful partner is important to me. In short, I would say be a giver, not a taker. Some that gives, makes me want to give as well. 1 1
Otter2569 Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 6 hours ago, dramafreezone said: In short, I would say be a giver, not a taker. Some that gives, makes me want to give as well. well said. I am experiencing the difference now and there is no comparison: New gf was over this weekend: she actively helped me cook meals, voluntarily did the dishes and wiped down the counters and while I showered she cleaned the microwave and picked up after herself. Exgf never got off her ass to help with anything and when she left, my place was a total wreck. 1
Dis Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) I always tell the guys I date that they look sexy, I tell them I'm happy when they take me out, text me etc etc, basically when they do things that I like, I tell them The last guy I dated told me he had never felt so appreciate by a woman before and he told me how men need to feel appreciated and complimented just like women do. Positive reinforcement is important and men need to hear it too I never expect him to do all the heavy lifting either. I was always raised to get things done by myself so when I'm always pitching in and contributing Edited January 11, 2022 by Dis 1 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Dis said: The last guy I dated told me he had never felt so appreciate by a woman before and he told me how men need to feel appreciated and complimented just like women do. Positive reinforcement is important and men need to hear it too I never expect him to do all the heavy lifting either. I was always raised to get things done by myself so when I'm always pitching in and contributing Edited 2 hours ago by Dis Yeah of course. When l saw this thread l thought it's no great mystery most of the things that make her feel needed and loved and appreciated will make him feel the same. And then of course there's lots of individual and intricacies with different people too and if she can tap into those with me. lt means the absolute world to me and that she can see and has understanding of how l tick , which not many people do so it's very important to me that she does. Edited January 11, 2022 by chillii 1
Dis Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 1 minute ago, chillii said: Yeah of course. When l saw this thread l thought it's no great mystery most of the things that make her feel needed and loved and appreciated will make him feel the same. And then of course too there's lots of individual and intricacies with different people too and if she can tap into those with me , it means the absolute world to me. lt also means she has a far deeper understanding of how l tick which also means the world to me. Exactly...when a person cares to make you happy while meshing with you and knowing you on a deep level....there's nothing better 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 7 minutes ago, Dis said: Exactly...when a person cares to make you happy while meshing with you and knowing you on a deep level....there's nothing better Yeah honestly , that actually means more to me than almost anything.
Weezy1973 Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 2 hours ago, Dis said: I always tell the guys I date that they look sexy, I tell them I'm happy when they take me out, text me etc etc, basically when they do things that I like, I tell them As has already been said, all men are different. This would not make me feel appreciated and when it did happen I actual felt she was manipulating me to be the person she wanted me to be, rather than just liking me for me. And that’s the biggest thing for me. My wife accepts me just as I am. She may not like everything I do, and we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but she doesn’t try to change me. And she doesn’t nag. That makes me feel appreciated and loved. 3
Dis Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 3 minutes ago, chillii said: Yeah honestly , that actually means more to me than almost anything. It's food for the soul. It's why people couple up. It's why people can be lonely when they're not. Life is about connections more than anything else...at least I think 1
Dis Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Just now, Weezy1973 said: As has already been said, all men are different. This would not make me feel appreciated and when it did happen I actual felt she was manipulating me to be the person she wanted me to be, rather than just liking me for me. Jeez...okay Well I didn't like a man for who he was I'd just leave. But that's just me.
chillii Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Dis said: It's food for the soul. It's why people couple up. It's why people can be lonely when they're not. Life is about connections more than anything else...at least I think Yeah look it is honestly, l wanna see her soul but l want her to be able to see mine too, Edited January 11, 2022 by chillii
Author Alpacalia Posted January 11, 2022 Author Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) In my opinion too, having a good partner (or even dating him/her) can be a very humbling experience (maybe others agree with me, I am not sure). Edited January 11, 2022 by Alpaca
Dis Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 1 hour ago, Alpaca said: In my opinion too, having a good partner (or even dating him/her) can be a very humbling experience (maybe others agree with me, I am not sure). It was for me in my last relationship I always thought I was a nice person and had a good heart, but my ex was the such a better person than me in terms of kindness and gentleness I felt very humbled by that 1
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