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Lonely and only have the ex around


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I don't know if I'm looking for advice or not, just need to vent.  Small town, single, live alone.  But now my ex is coming around all the time again. He offered to help me with snow removal and such this winter. I can't do it because of a disability and my property is quite large.  Everyone else wants a lot of money before they'll help me with anything. My ex will do it for nothing.... so, here he is. I pretty much had no choice but to take the help he offered.

Problem is... he's an ex. And he stabbed me in the back every way he could think of when we were together. Today he brought me a Christmas gift, and I just saw it as manipulation...... I don't tell him so but I just think he's doing all this for himself, not me at all.... that he has an agenda... Old resentments are surfacing again on my part just from seeing him all the time....  Right now we don't talk about anything but the weather, and  I don't want to open my mouth and say something in case I end up with no help, again. 

  I don't know how long I can hold out, though.  Mostly because I feel like I'm probably just 'narcissistic supply,'  and he's running low on other fuel sources right now which is why he's around. So it's a toss up between my pride and having him here.....  I'm not sure what to do.  Get rid of him or sit here festering in exchange for help?  It's a no win situation. 

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Happy Lemming

Part of owning a property/home is keeping up with the maintenance, which includes snow removal, grass cutting, tree trimming and a whole host of outdoor/landscaping chores.

If you can't afford an outside contractor to do these maintenance chores, then it is time to down size to a smaller property/home or even a condo, where you are not responsible for the outside maintenance work.

Do not have your ex perform snow removal or any other type of maintenance on your property.  He is NOT doing this out of the "kindness of his heart" he is going to expect something in return. 

9 hours ago, Fair said:

 And he stabbed me in the back every way he could think of when we were together.

I wouldn't want anyone around that "stabbed me in the back".  I'd put as much distance as possible from this individual.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Yes, he only gives when he's looking to get. Now, when I really need help after the last heavy snow fall..... he's nowhere to be found.   

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