simpleman Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Hi, Recently, my girlfriend thinks I want to break up with her because I think she likes her bestfriend who likes her. In the past, she did like him when she was going out with me. She told me this. She doesn't anymore though. The two hang out every day together. She tells me that he holds/hugs her for 10 or more minutes. Her friends ask her if it's okay that she be doing that since she has me, but she tells them it's okay because he is just a bestfriend. Is it okay? I guess, so. She has pushed me off the phone to be with her bestfriend. She spends all her afternoons with him, from 2PM to 6PM or later. He still likes her. He asks her to be his girlfriend and asks her to dances. She tells him no because she has me. She thinks I get jealous because of she spends so much time with him. Tomorrow, they will be spending all day together from 2PM to 12AM because of a dance that she claims she will not be going too, but will have to wait until it's over because of her other syblings are partaking in it. What should I do? I love her, and I know she LOVEs me. She gets very jealous. I believe in her LOVE and I don't get jealous. How can I prove to her that I am not jealous. It is just sometimes it is a shock to hear such things all at once. I admit when I hear "He hugs me for 10 minutes straight" it takes me a while to comprehend this and she feels like I think she doesn't love me anymore. What are people's thoughts on this situation? *edit* She lives in Puerto Rico and I'm in Texas now. She feels very lonely which causes her depression. She constantly feels like she isn't good enough for me. She feels like I am always going to leave her *edit* Link to post Share on other sites
megabit15 Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Sounds like she is trying to make you jealous, but is bothered because you are just not the jealous type, but rather that you disagree with her choice of company based on a logical perspective. Kind of like: To you, when you like someone, you spend time together, talk together, hug each other, etc. If she is spending her time with the guy doing these things, it must mean she likes him. To her: Jealous is emotional. Some women actually want a man to be jealous to show that you care and want her for yourself - sort of like 'staking your claim' and setting a boundary for what is acceptable to you. to this type of woman, if a man does not get jealous when she hugs someone else, is close emotionally with someone else, etc., it means he doesn't care. That would lead her to feel depressed and lonely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simpleman Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 Should I act jealous just to satisfy her need for me to be jealous; eventhough, she tells me I have no reason to be jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
megabit15 Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 No, she needs to accept you the way you are Link to post Share on other sites
MJ1 Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Come on I'd be jealous... she's spending all that time with him and you're not meant to be jealous??? Hugging for 10 mins at a time - is that normal behaviour!?? friends only go so far and he clearly thinks he's in with a chance. If she loves and respects you she'd surely be trying to spend more time with you... not idling her time away with a guy that wants her, but knows he cant have her. What does he have that you havent got? Sorry to be so harsh.. I have experience of my own. My ex gf had all these very intimate relationships with guys that were just meant to be friends. I dont really think thats normal or appropiate if you are seeing someone. If you started that with another girl - she's wonder what was going on. She's playing with you... if you start questioning too much she'll say you're needy and possessive (you're NOT), if you dont put a stop to it as soon as things go wrong she'll prob turn to him for comfort and who knows what might happen (intentionally or unintentionally). Link to post Share on other sites
Author simpleman Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 Sounds good. Thanks for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
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