The man I once loved ended up being a cruel person

[samsungxoxo]

Over these weeks, I've finally come to realize who he really was. He wasn't just a cheapstake (the trait my mother hated so much) but he lived off women's money, owes his own mother money too, was very obsessive with my growing food business and after my grandma's fortune. He never wanted to come to my country and marry me. He couldn't care less if my reproduce years culminated. He didn't love nor want to marry me as a person. He wanted to marry me after I become wealthy and own my future restaurant so he can get 1/2 of my assets and income; half of everything. 

He wanted me to get ruined in case there was a divorce. I had a 2nd session with my psychologist and she diagnosed him as a narcissistic-sociopath. He owes me $1,223 but the psychologist adviced me it isn't worth taking actions; to keep him blocked. This was the long-distance bf I've been posting so much about. It turns out he was a lot worse than what my mother thought of him. She never liked him but she was also shocked to find out how terrible he was; a real nasty, cruel person.

This explains why he turned controlling at some point. He was too obsessed with food, kept requesting me to take pictures of everything I eat and put me through ''tests'' to see if I was ready for marriage. He was playing me all along. He even lied to me about his real birth year, his age. He wasn't just 3-4 years older than me when I met him (I was 19 when I met him) but rather 10+ years. He admitted he was really born in 1976. I feel nothing for him at all. I feel nothing since I found out what he really was. He never loved him from the start. He has been after my wealth the whole time. 

 

I wonder if it's late to have a child. I'm now currently 34 years old and well I still hope to find real love. I'm just shocked that I've studied psychology for 2 years, we once talked about the subject of sociopath and psychopaths....not realizing I was talking to one the whole time. He just doesn't kill but scams women, fakes future marriage, makes women waste their years, lives off women's money, etc.

[glows]

Talk with your doctor about pregnancies and health concerns. It's better that you leave a deceiving, manipulative and terrible relationship than stay in one out of fear that you won't find someone else. 

The numbness will wear off and you'll start to miss him so keep yourself busy and motivated. Keep up your momentum with your business and other responsibilities or commitments. What he is doesn't matter anymore. It's what you do with yourself going forward that counts.

 

[samsungxoxo]

4 hours ago, glows said:

Talk with your doctor about pregnancies and health concerns. It's better that you leave a deceiving, manipulative and terrible relationship than stay in one out of fear that you won't find someone else. 

The numbness will wear off and you'll start to miss him so keep yourself busy and motivated. Keep up your momentum with your business and other responsibilities or commitments. What he is doesn't matter anymore. It's what you do with yourself going forward that counts.

 

I'll speak with a OBGYN about the pregnancy concern. I don't miss him at all. I have disgust and hatred towards him. How could I miss a total liar, a fraudster, a scammer...someone that never even felt emotions like a normal human (if so, he faked them for so long)? Frankly I couldn't care less if this bastard got run over by a car or his health deteriorated. I believe the things that are keeping me from breaking down badly are:

- Supportive family (my relationship with my mother is better than ever)

- My developing food business (my future restaurant)

- My judo classes

- My phone translation job

[Wiseman2]

Ok. end it kindly and diplomatically. Then delete and block him from all your social media and messaging app. Free yourself to date local men.

[samsungxoxo]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. end it kindly and diplomatically. Then delete and block him from all your social media and messaging app. Free yourself to date local men.

I've already done that. Thanks. I just hope I can have a family, what this user never wanted to give me.

[glows]

2 hours ago, samsungxoxo said:

I believe the things that are keeping me from breaking down badly are:

- Supportive family (my relationship with my mother is better than ever)

- My developing food business (my future restaurant)

- My judo classes

- My phone translation job

This is very good. Anger is normal after a break up. Use it with care and pour your energies into your endeavours. Avoid any self-destructive habits and be around your loved ones, keep engaging with others. It takes time for that anger to fade as you work on other things so give yourself that time.

[Noproblem]

We talked before about your bf, you need also to move out of your home and live independently,

of course it' not too late for you to have kids, but again you should live alone for a while to find yourself, heal, focus on your business and eventually and hopefully, you'll find someone you like.

Your goal should not be kids, your goal should be someone who loves you for you and who you can spend the rest of your life with , and if kids came your way, that's great, if not, he won't be bothered and you won't be bothered and you can always adopt or foster kids from orphanage. 

You need someone who loves you with all your charms and flaws and love your family too!  but before finding such person you need to move out of your parents house and go live alone or with a nice sane roommate. 

I am glad that you don't miss that guy and yes I can't stand a cheapstake too. 

I agree with your therapist, it's not worth it to get the money from him, better keep him blocked forever!

 

Edited November 7, 2021 by Noproblem