Otter2569 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 In the last few months I have dated several different women. Some I have slept with and some I have not. A woman I dated recently posted pics of us together on social media and now other women / former dates are asking about my status with her (because we look so happy together) and whether or not we've slept together (we have). I don't think I need to disclose my sex life or explain my actions to a large degree so am struggling how best to address these questions (text messages)? I do enjoy being with the woman I am pictured with and envision it becoming more than casual dating. I do not see myself wanting to be more than friends with the women who are asking BUT I also don't want to be a jerk about it either. Any thoughts on how handle this? 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 6 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: I do enjoy being with the woman I am pictured with and envision it becoming more than casual dating. I do not see myself wanting to be more than friends with the women who are asking BUT I also don't want to be a jerk about it either. Any thoughts on how handle this? "We are casually seeing each other, why do you ask?" Throw the ball back in their court. 2
Starswillshine Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 If she is asking, just be completely honest, imo. 1 1
Johnjohnson2017 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 42 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: In the last few months I have dated several different women. Some I have slept with and some I have not. A woman I dated recently posted pics of us together on social media and now other women / former dates are asking about my status with her (because we look so happy together) and whether or not we've slept together (we have). I don't think I need to disclose my sex life or explain my actions to a large degree so am struggling how best to address these questions (text messages)? I do enjoy being with the woman I am pictured with and envision it becoming more than casual dating. I do not see myself wanting to be more than friends with the women who are asking BUT I also don't want to be a jerk about it either. Any thoughts on how handle this? Tell them that you two are at the early stages of dating. obviously do not mention that you two are having sex. That should be kept between you and the woman you are seeing. 6
dramafreezone Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: In the last few months I have dated several different women. Some I have slept with and some I have not. A woman I dated recently posted pics of us together on social media and now other women / former dates are asking about my status with her (because we look so happy together) and whether or not we've slept together (we have). I don't think I need to disclose my sex life or explain my actions to a large degree so am struggling how best to address these questions (text messages)? I do enjoy being with the woman I am pictured with and envision it becoming more than casual dating. I do not see myself wanting to be more than friends with the women who are asking BUT I also don't want to be a jerk about it either. Any thoughts on how handle this? Under no circumstances do you disclose your sex life to other women outside of the relationship. Been there done that in my younger days, it doesn't end well. It's none of their business. Also, you don't know if they know her as at least an acquaintance. You go blabbing about your sex life and it'll get right back to her, then you prove yourself as a guy that can't be trusted. Say "a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell" or just say "we're just seeing each other." They have no use for the information other than to satisfy their curiosity. Edited November 2, 2021 by dramafreezone 4
elaine567 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 If these are the friends you mentioned previously, then they are not just random women and you have got yourself into a bit of a fix, by sleeping with them as predicted. 1
dramafreezone Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, elaine567 said: If these are the friends you mentioned previously, then they are not just random women and you have got yourself into a bit of a fix, by sleeping with them as predicted. How is he in a fix? No one else he's slept with previously has a right or need to know who he's sleeping with after they've ended their sexual relationship. If need be he should plainly say "that's none of your business" but I suggested him being more polite about it in my comments. Only reason they want to know is so they have something to blab to someone else about. Some people need to gossip like they need air to breathe. Edited November 2, 2021 by dramafreezone
Alpacalia Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 Good luck 1 hour ago, Otter2569 said: Any thoughts on how handle this?
Author Otter2569 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Posted November 2, 2021 28 minutes ago, elaine567 said: If these are the friends you mentioned previously, then they are not just random women and you have got yourself into a bit of a fix, by sleeping with them as predicted. This is kind of but not really the two friends I mentioned earlier: one I am casually dating and am pictured with is one but the other is a woman 1,000 miles away that I hooked up with when she was in town visiting family. The hook up was initiated by her but regardless she's been a cling on ever since. Regarding the two: I have since dated both and they could not be more different. One is more friendship and the other is someone I enjoy being with (pic chic).
glows Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 I wouldn't respond. Let the friendships fade or faze out eventually. If they are taking the trouble to ask, it means they are looking for info and trouble. Anyone with sense, if you were dating casually at the same time, will take a moment to step back or grant you some space to date whom you want to date. Don't respond to troublemakers. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 I wouldn't respond to those questions, personally. It isn't their business. 4
dramafreezone Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 If this other woman is not even in the picture, she's 1000 miles away, that's even less reason to divulge sensitive, intimate information. Let her live her life, and keep her out of your business. 2
Wiseman2 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: The hook up was initiated by her but regardless she's been a cling on ever since. It's sort of invasive question, but you hooked up so she wants to know. Anyway if she's a real Klingon, and want to get rid of her, you could tell her you took that pic outside the clinic where you were treated for crabs. That may help her move on. Edited November 2, 2021 by Wiseman2 1
Alpacalia Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) Some people, on the other hand, only have physical intimacy with one person at a time. If they are, I'm guessing that's why they're inquiring. For one thing, if you don't know your risk profile, how can you make informed decisions regarding safer sex and STI prevention? Edited November 2, 2021 by Alpaca 3 1
Pumpernickel Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 Wondering why one woman can see the other woman’s SM if they don’t know one another. Unless she’s snooping - and if she’s snooping, she should keep that to herself because it’s not a good look. And why don’t you tell the “poster” (pic chick) not to post anything about you? I’d hate that if somebody posted pictures of me on SM, especially a “lover”. Eeek. Immature! Did she tag you, too?
Girl Fade Away Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) @Otter2569are the women asking your ex's/former lovers or women you are currently dating and having sex with? I wasn't sure from your post. If they are your ex's/former lovers, why are still even communicating with them? And no, it's none of their business, I think it's within your rights to ignore the question. On the other hand if they are women you are currently dating/having sex with, then it would be their business for safety reasons (std's and the like) and I would answer honestly and openly. Edited November 2, 2021 by Girl Fade Away 4
smackie9 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 You don't have to respond at all if you don't want to. 1
Uruktopi Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 For no reason I would answer about my past intimacy with a woman to anyone, may be except to my partner (no secrets) and that only on what may be relevant to our present relationship. (Said exception as an abstract criteria, as I´m not in a relationship at the present). This not mainly because of my own individual privacy (an hypertrophied obsession of our culture) but cos would be disrespectful to the other one involved. 4
Author Otter2569 Posted November 2, 2021 Author Posted November 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Girl Fade Away said: @Otter2569are the women asking your ex's/former lovers or women you are currently dating and having sex with? I wasn't sure from your post. If they are your ex's/former lovers, why are still even communicating with them? And no, it's none of their business, I think it's within your rights to ignore the question. On the other hand if they are women you are currently dating/having sex with, then it would be their business for safety reasons (std's and the like) and I would answer honestly and openly. This is a woman I slept with months ago while she was in town visiting family for a week. She lives 1000 miles away but acts like we are now engaged to be married. She disected the pics in minute detail which prompted these questions. Hopefully this prompts her to go away.
basil67 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 If you want her to go away, you need to take steps so that she can't see updates about you on social media. If your profile is public, block her. If it's private, unfriend her. 2
basil67 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 (edited) If you want her to go away, you need to take steps so that she can't see updates about you on social media. If your profile is public, block her. If it's private, unfriend her. Edited to add: if you're sleeping with the other one currently or recently, she has every right to ask if you're sleeping with anyone else concurrently. Edited November 2, 2021 by basil67 2 2
lana-banana Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 Why are you even having conversations with women you dated in the past like this? It doesn't sound like they're close friends; why are they asking, and why are you entertaining talking to them? The obvious answer seems to be just mute/block/delete their profiles. You are not required to answer anyone about your sexual history, but especially not people you briefly dated. 1
basil67 Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, lana-banana said: Why are you even having conversations with women you dated in the past like this? Indeed. I'm still trying to figure out if they overlapped with the girl who he slept with.
Shining One Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 5 hours ago, Otter2569 said: I do not see myself wanting to be more than friends with the women who are asking BUT I also don't want to be a jerk about it either. Are you hoping to keep the door open to sleeping with any of these women in the future?
Foxhall Posted November 2, 2021 Posted November 2, 2021 You are perhaps enjoying the attention of being popular or "hot property" at the moment, and your leaning towards oversharing with your various women, an ego thing- lol not being critical maybe Im guilty of it myself on occasion. perhaps wiser to keep your own counsel and withdraw from some of the text conversations, As mentioned above if you are actually keen enough on the "pictured woman" , would you settle to make a go of it with her and refrain from sharing your intimate details with the various other parties.
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