Using Personal Messenger

[poppyfields]

What is LS's policy on this?

Reason I ask is I notice a few posters logged in using Personal Messenger but they rarely if ever post on the open forum.  

It's not even once in a while, it's literally all day long.  Or every time I am logged in. 

Been going on for months, the same posters on Personal Messenger.

Is this allowed?  Using Personal Messenger as your own private email account?

Being the curious person that I am, I often wonder what their issue is and why they're not posting it on the open forum?

I mean, why not get ALL our input on the open forum versus posting privately?   We are all anonymous anyway.

Or exchange private email/gmail with the person and post OFF the forum?

Anyway, not a huge deal, just wondering what the policy was, doesn't seem right.

Thanks.

 

 

Edited October 26, 2021 by poppyfields

[S2B]

I didn’t know there was a private messenger part to this website.

I know you send a mail message - is that different than messenger you are referring to?

Edited October 26, 2021 by S2B

[basil67]

I spent some time having a friendly chats with a LS member who took their privacy seriously and didn't want to disclose any personal contact information -  so we stayed on the LS messenger.   

I can't imagine that anyone would have an issue with this or want us to go elsewhere.  After all, we weren't bothering anyone.  If LS didn't want people chatting with other posters off the forum, they wouldn't have given us the option to do so.

 

Edited October 26, 2021 by basil67

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, poppyfields said:

 I notice a few posters logged in using Personal Messenger but they rarely if ever post on the open forum.  

It's not even once in a while, it's literally all day long.  Or every time I am logged in. 

Where can you see this? Never noticed this.

There's a setting to not show last login or online, maybe they forget to use it?

[Alpacalia]

I haven't noticed it either probably because I don't really care to pay attention to how other members choose to communicate.

 

[poppyfields]

8 hours ago, basil67 said:

I spent some time having a friendly chats with a LS member who took their privacy seriously and didn't want to disclose any personal contact information -  so we stayed on the LS messenger.   

I can't imagine that anyone would have an issue with this or want us to go elsewhere.  After all, we weren't bothering anyone.  If LS didn't want people chatting with other posters off the forum, they wouldn't have given us the option to do so.

 

I know you're right basil..  Not sure why it bothers me, sometimes, not always.  

I'm sure it's for privacy which is their right but then again we are all anonymous, so....

Anyway, definitely my own issue, the DM feature is there and folks can use as they like even if they never wish to share with others on the forum.

Maybe a part of me feels left out or left behind or something, it's weird I feel this way, I'm gonna have to explore it further within.

Thanks.

Edit:  I don't go looking, when logged on, it shows on the right of my screen who else is logged in and what they're viewing and doing....

 

Edited October 26, 2021 by poppyfields

[Pumpernickel]

Ohhh, you mean the DM funcion. I thought you were referring to some chat function that I wasn't aware of. And the list of users that is displayed does't mean that these users are actively DM-ing other users. They're probably just browsing topics and reading threads. No need to feel left out.   

[Happy Lemming]

Can you just delete the DM's without reading them??  If you don't recognize the individual as someone you regularly communicate with, then delete the DM without reading it.

I imagine its like when I'm going through my morning e-mail(s).  If its a company that I regularly do business with, I'll check and see if they have anything on sale, that I can use.  If it is some company that obtained my e-mail address that I don't recognize, I delete it (without opening it).

[NuevoYorko]

If a person doesn't want to DM other members they definitely should not do it.  I can't imagine why other people using it could be a problem.  Why?

[S2B]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I know you're right basil..  Not sure why it bothers me, sometimes, not always.  

I'm sure it's for privacy which is their right but then again we are all anonymous, so....

Anyway, definitely my own issue, the DM feature is there and folks can use as they like even if they never wish to share with others on the forum.

Maybe a part of me feels left out or left behind or something, it's weird I feel this way, I'm gonna have to explore it further within.

Thanks.

Edit:  I don't go looking, when logged on, it shows on the right of my screen who else is logged in and what they're viewing and doing....

 

But I stay logged in and it likely shows me in the last position I was in when I left the page. I don’t send mail to people very often and I haven’t seen the feature you referenced.

is it possible other people aren’t logged off either but still show where their last position was on the site?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

Can you just delete the DM's without reading them??  If you don't recognize the individual as someone you regularly communicate with, then delete the DM without reading it.

Agree. You can block someone from messaging you. 

[Happy Lemming]

21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Agree. You can block someone from messaging you. 

Yes... I forgot about that, when you "ignore" someone, you can also block their DM's.

You are indeed "Wise"!!

[Pumpernickel]

I just looked, and the box that lists the online users doesn't even show any deails – if you want to see what each user is doing, you actually have to make the effort to click on the box in order to see a list of each individual user and what they're currently doing. I have never seen this exists. Are you a little stalker, OP?? (Just kidding.)

Also – if I get a DM, I usually don't reply, unless it is from someone I've interacted with. Not sure that that's what bothers her/him, though.

[poppyfields]

27 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

I just looked, and the box that lists the online users doesn't even show any deails – if you want to see what each user is doing, you actually have to make the effort to click on the box in order to see a list of each individual user and what they're currently doing. I have never seen this exists. Are you a little stalker, OP?? (Just kidding.)

Also – if I get a DM, I usually don't reply, unless it is from someone I've interacted with. Not sure that that's what bothers her/him, though.

My computer (a PC) shows differently wherein you don't have to click on profile or a box, but anyway, it was just a vent, I'm feeling better about it today.

I think I know where it stemmed from, which in retrospect was silly.

But when I notice(d) people chatting on private/personal messenger ad nauseum, but NOT posting on the forum I felt like I did when I was kid, feeling left out of the "group," ignored, out of the loop, in short rejected.

I knew it came from someplace within me, but again it's silly and I'm over it.  I was personalizing it which I shouldn't have.

At Lemming, when a poster reaches out to me privately seeking advice on whatever issue they're facing, lately I have been politely declining and encouraging them to post on the open forum wherein they can receive insight and advice from everyone.

Again, we are all anonymous.

Anyway, thanks guys for chiming in on such a silly and meaningless thread!!

 

 

 

 

Edited October 26, 2021 by poppyfields

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

when a poster reaches out to me privately seeking advice on whatever issue they're facing, lately I have been politely declining and encouraging them to post on the open forum wherein they can receive insight and advice from everyone.

Agree. The collective nature of forums offers a lot of varied advice and I've done this as well. But if people make friends and chitchat that's fine too, why not?

[Alpacalia]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

But when I notice(d) people chatting on private/personal messenger ad nauseum, but NOT posting on the forum I felt like I did when I was kid, feeling left out of the "group," ignored, out of the loop, in short rejected.

You feel left out but then say this:

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

At Lemming, when a poster reaches out to me privately seeking advice on whatever issue they're facing, lately I have been politely declining and encouraging them to post on the open forum wherein they can receive insight and advice from everyone.

Which is it?

 

[basil67]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

when a poster reaches out to me privately seeking advice on whatever issue they're facing, lately I have been politely declining and encouraging them to post on the open forum wherein they can receive insight and advice from everyone.

I do the same Poppy.   And honestly, I don't want to be a person's only point of support.  One of the positives about a forum like this is that if one person gets busy or tired of a topic, there's always more advice coming from other people.  

Truth be told, I rarely use the message function, and when I do, it's off topic conversation.

I'm glad you're feeling better today.

[poppyfields]

28 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

You feel left out but then say this:

Which is it?

 

@Alpaca, I feel left out when I notice posters messaging each other privately ad nauseum to the exclusion of other posters on the open forum.

A random poster reaching out to me via private message asking my advice is a completely different thing.

I think a mix of both is fine.  But often times, I notice the same posters private messaging and they NEVER (or very rarely) post on the open forum.

Obviously, that is their prerogative to message privately, I just think on forums like this, as Wiseman said, receiving insight from EVERYONE is why these forums exist, they don't exist to be one's personal email account. There is yahoo, gmail and hotmail for that.

Anyway, like I said, I am over it, thanks.

Edited October 26, 2021 by poppyfields

[Lisa]

Looks like this topic has been resolved.  @poppyfields please flag this post if you wish to discuss further with Mods  

[Alpacalia]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

I feel left out when I notice posters messaging each other ad nauseum to the exclusion of other posters on the open forum.

A random poster reaching out to me via private message asking my advice is a completely different thing.

That makes more sense now.

I think it's just the nature of public forums.