Signs he is the one?

[shalina1789]

I met someone on Hinge about a week ago. We were talking on and off until this monday where we spent the entire night chatting away before eventually exchanging numbers and him asking me out for a first date. It was genuinely the best date i have experienced, coming from someone who has lost faith in dating, love, connections etc. I usually get butterflies before I go on a date, and that tends to be my body warning me its not a good idea. (Sounds strange) but i only get butterflies if im anxiety has triggered. Even subconsciously. This time I did not have butterflies, and I took that as a good sign because this guy didnt make me feel anxious or nervous. The date couldnt have gone better, we weirdly have so much in common. Little coincidences that popped up for example saying the same thing as each other at the same time, experiencing the exact same things in our day as each other etc. We ordered food and drinks, and didnt even touch it because of how invested we were in conversation. The eye contact as well seemed so comforting? Usually eye contact can be awkward right? The biggest part of it all, we were in a room full of people and, for me anyway, it felt like we were the only two people there. I didnt notice anyone or anything around me. And he is such a gentleman, he was so proper and well mannered throughout the date. Didnt kiss on the first date (which for me is a big big indication of what someone wants), so it did rest my mind to know he isnt after one thing- and he explicitly mentioned this. And above all else, I felt very comfortable, safe and secure with this man for some reason. 
i dont think this is confusion, but just with my experiences i’ve been let down countless times, been with abusive partners, taken advantage of emotionally and sexually… and i guess, I never really knew how to feel? So i suppose im wandering if my feelings this time around mean as much as i think they do? Its definitely something i havent felt before, not even with my ex’s. I cant help but think about him being in my future in whatever way. Is there hope here, i know its early days. The date went well enough for us to arrange a second one too. Sounds promising? Also a few weeks ago, i had a very romantic dream about a guy. I couldnt make his face out, but his physique was similar to this guy i met. We were in a shop trying on outfits for our wedding. I felt the same about that dream as i felt when i met this man. 

Edited September 19, 2021 by shalina1789
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[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Enjoy future dates and the connection, however keep both feet on the ground and pace yourself.

[Lotsgoingon]

No your feelings this time do not mean as much as you think they do.  I've had fantastic first dates with people and then later seen things fizzle. Sometimes the chemistry is confined mostly to the first date or to the start of the relationship.

You really want to drop the "is this the one?" thinking. Focus on: do you want to go on another date with him? Yes or no. You want the yes to be strong. If the answer is "not sure" that's a no. Ask yourself that question after each date. 

The further things go, then you'll ask yourself that question sorta weekly ... maybe ... in the back of your mind.

But you guys simply have matching chemical and hormonal stuff going on right now. He could be a serial killer and you'd have no idea at this point. 

[d0nnivain]

This is why you have problems dating.  You jump in way too fast & project too far. 

You went on ONE date with this guy off the internet.  Yet here you are dreaming about whether he's The One.  You can't possibly know.  He's a freaking stranger that you have only known for a week.  At this point, you have enough info to decide if you want to go on a 2nd date, maybe talk to him next week.  You can't even be sure you have a date for Halloween yet & dreaming about the end of October is too far in advance for this very fledgling relationship.  Slow down.  

As for your "butterflies" that expression usually refers to good anticipation / excitement, yet you use it to mean fear based anxiety & dread.   I'm not understanding your word choice but I do understand dread.  Are you generally afraid of life ?  

I'm glad you felt safe & secure but your dream was just a dream.  It's not a harbinger about him.  Do not let it color your judgment.  Step back.  Observe what you actually see & learn about him.  Let his actions, not your projections, be your guide.  

[Happy Lemming]

About 20 years ago, I dated this one woman for about 5 years and after our second date, she told her mother that she would be with me for the rest of her life.  She knew she had found "her guy".

Sadly, she passed away when a doctor misdiagnosed an illness... but we were together until her death. So in the end, she was right.

[mark clemson]

I believe there probably is no "the one" for most people, and even if there is/was, sometimes they find that it is a more transitory situation/relationship than they had hoped.

By all means start a relationship with this person, but suggest you keep your expectations reasonable/realistic and stay "grounded" until there is actually reason not to be (such as a proposal one day in the distant future, etc).