Finding a life partner in a modern world

[Uruktopi]

1 hour ago, Weezy1973 said:

But sure castration seems like a viable option too.

May I decline? 

[Uruktopi]

On 9/18/2021 at 4:50 PM, Bokor said:

should I just use prostitutes for my sexual needs and resign to being single? 

"...resign to being single? " A decent option.

"should I just use prostitutes for my sexual needs...."  If your sexual needs are of this kind I begin to understand:

- Why do you seem to be dissapointed by women.

- Moreover, why most of women seem to be avoiding you and your "needs". 

 

[mark clemson]

I don't think attitudes in modern society are anything like what you describe frankly. Men are bashed for their sexuality? Compared to what? the Victorian Era? the US 1950's? life under the Taliban??

 

On 9/18/2021 at 1:50 PM, Bokor said:

 I don’t really have much “ game” to speak of and I consider “ game” to be a pretty sad skill to strive towards.

While I can see why some might say that, "game" is actually an EXCELLENT skill set to have if you're interested in having lots of sex. If you have enough "game" you will have your choice from among many possible women. Some may be sexually repressed or resent "male sexual demands" but others will be sexual dynamos who will have the ability to not only please you extensively, but also put you to shame in terms of their appetite and "ability". So, you could then pick one of those to stay with long term IF you think it's wise.

Perhaps you should reconsider how you are approaching things.

Edited September 20, 2021 by mark clemson

[Els]

If literally the only reason why you want to date is to satisfy your own sexual needs, then yes, you should visit prostitutes instead.

I don't think French women are any more accepting of selfish men than women elsewhere.

[GeorgiaPeach1]

On 9/18/2021 at 3:50 PM, Bokor said:

Swm here 40,s have been out of the relationship game for many years now . I feel that the dating scene now at least in the US is a nightmare to deal with . I’ve mostly resigned myself that it’s not really worth all the headache . I don’t really have much “ game” to speak of and I consider “ game” to be a pretty sad skill to strive towards. 
I feel culturally , women consider most men to be evil “ big bad wolf” monsters looking to sexually harass them or assault them at every turn considering men to be some kind of “ sex starved” perverted alien life form until “ proven” otherwise. That leads me to the dating scene where men are essentially on trial to cross Ts and dot I s to determine if they are worth the trouble or not . Men on the other hand are not permitted culturally to express themselves sexually in any way shape or form unless risking being branded a pervert. Even a simple kiss is sexual assault now so I think single men do see themselves isolated trapped unable to express their sexuality unless it’s behind closed doors and you are married even then ..,. Don’t speak of it like it’s some dirty little secret! 
I see this whole situation as pathetic that people can’t be more rational about a basic human need which leads me in kind of a ptsd state of mind when I think about finding a life partner 

I mean do I really want to go through the whole being on trial phase of the relationship and having to worry about whenever I want sex to be looked at as some kind of sick predator??

looking for some female responses here as I don’t know what the answer might be

should I just use prostitutes for my sexual needs and resign to being single? 
try to move to France where women are ok socially with men wanting sex all the time? 
I have a high sex drive but that is simply unacceptable for a man to have in this society 
 

Not at any point have you mentioned what you have to offer, in terms of being loving, reliable, faithful, etc...

[glows]

I actually like dating, sharing time and life together, but the difficulty is finding someone I'm interested enough in. I'd much rather be single than in poor company. Perhaps you can take more time and enjoy the journey. Nothing has to be a game. If you're not all-rounded, chances are you'll come across as too aggressive in one area even if it's sex. Take your time and don't be in such a hurry.

[SumGuy]

On 9/18/2021 at 4:50 PM, Bokor said:

Swm here 40,s have been out of the relationship game for many years now . I feel that the dating scene now at least in the US is a nightmare to deal with . I’ve mostly resigned myself that it’s not really worth all the headache . I don’t really have much “ game” to speak of and I consider “ game” to be a pretty sad skill to strive towards. 
I feel culturally , women consider most men to be evil “ big bad wolf” monsters looking to sexually harass them or assault them at every turn considering men to be some kind of “ sex starved” perverted alien life form until “ proven” otherwise. That leads me to the dating scene where men are essentially on trial to cross Ts and dot I s to determine if they are worth the trouble or not . Men on the other hand are not permitted culturally to express themselves sexually in any way shape or form unless risking being branded a pervert. Even a simple kiss is sexual assault now so I think single men do see themselves isolated trapped unable to express their sexuality unless it’s behind closed doors and you are married even then ..,. Don’t speak of it like it’s some dirty little secret! 

First not a woman, but have had no problem being sexual and talking about sex when dating women.

Second, if you really believe what quoted above that mind set is going to really hamper you.  It is pretty close to incel.   I'd suggest don't paint all women with one brush, don't fall into seeing it through the madonna/whore complex, don't equate failures with some women as problems with all women.   Success with people, dating women included, requires social skills.

Sure there are women who are put off by talk of sex until married (men as well), women who act like sex is dirty (men to) no matter what they say...heck for some that is part of what they like.  These are typically the very opposite of those who think all men are sexual predators.   Yah there are plenty of sex negative people out there.

The simple secret is that men, women, sex positive ones as well, want you to get to know them first.  That is not a trial, that is human social interaction.  Like many humans (men and women) they view sex as an intimate thing, and they would like to feel you like them for them, not their secondary sexual characteristics, their wallet, etc.  If that is a burden or "trial" for you, then you may want to aim for the hook-up ONS culture...that culture has it's own "tests" as well, really no way around people judging if you are worth having sex with.

Women get judged for how they express their sexuality to; in fact that has been the historical norm and still too many countries where women are jailed or killed for it (one country is one too many).  So to give you a wake up call...you are not going to get a lot of sympathy from women that you can't express yourself sexually in any way you want and expect it to be accepted.

I hate to say it but when I hear men bemoan about how they can't be men anymore, is they are upset that cat calls, being obnoxious, or rude, or physically aggressive is not a turn on for women.  Heck whining is not a turn on either.

It's also important to grasp that women are at a physical disadvantage to men and men do rape, kill, etc. women.   So of course they need to be aware of this.  They live in a world where walking alone at night is something they need to think about, how common is that for men?  If you ever lived in a place where you have then you can begin to understand.  I'd suggest not personalizing women being cautious or blame them for it.   

Quote

I have a high sex drive but that is simply unacceptable for a man to have in this society 

It's not.  Plenty of men confuse putting women off with how they express their sexual drive with women not liking sexual drive in men.   It really does come down to manners, social skills and listening.  You do it right and women love you expressing how you can barely keep your hands off them and want to be hands on.   Plenty of women have high sex drives as well, portions of society also judge them as well.

[Wiseman2]

On 9/19/2021 at 5:44 PM, Bokor said:

Maybe I’ll just get castrated and call it a day 

If you are involved in any cults or hate groups (including incels, manosphere, etc. ) get help. Reach out  to trusted friends and family. Therapists can help you recover.

"Eight of the male members of the group, including Applewhite, voluntarily underwent castration as an extreme means of maintaining the ascetic lifestyle. The group initially attempted castration by having one of the members, a former nurse, perform the castration, but this initial attempt was very unsuccessful, almost resulted in the patient's death, and caused at least one member to leave Heaven's Gate. Every castration that followed this initial one was done in a hospital

Heaven's Gate was an American new religious movement, often described as a cult. On March 26, 1997, deputies of the San Diego County Sheriff's Department discovered the bodies of the 39 active members of the group, including that of Applewhite, in a house in the San Diego"

[Uruktopi]

On 9/18/2021 at 4:50 PM, Bokor said:

I have a high sex drive but that is simply unacceptable for a man to have in this society 

May be it´s because of my never enough English.

But I still can´t find the conection between having a high sex drive and picturing women as sex spending machines.

You may be surprized by women´s strong (if not stonger than yours) erotism WHEN they the man behaves like.......a man. That is, treat them as valuable women.

May I ask you a non related question? Are you a fan of (only) fast food?  🤔