I was needy and smothered him - any chance of reconciling?

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, lonelyplanetmoon said:

He has commitment phobe written all over him

Based on what? The fact that he is chose to break up with her?

That's quite a reach, based on almost zero information about him other than he elected not to continue dating OP. 

Edited September 21, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[lonelyplanetmoon]

On 9/18/2021 at 11:32 AM, endofthetunnel said:

Thank you all for the honest answers! 

I guess since he hadn't been in a relationship for more than 3 months at a time since graduating university (which in retrospect was possibly a red flag), I had thought after we passed the 6-month mark that we were pretty stable so the breakup really threw me off when it came out of the blue. 

 

[Wiseman2]

It's not about needy and smothered, it's about way too much too soon because of being on the rebound, being afraid to be alone and your lease ending and asking him to let you move in after a few mos.

 Just work on rebuilding your life as a single women after  your  5 yr. relationship breakup.

[stillafool]

On 9/18/2021 at 5:54 PM, endofthetunnel said:

Thanks. Yes, he did mention exactly that: that the relationship felt more like a friendship/roommates than anything else. 

If he said this to you he definitely wasn't having romantic feelings for you so it's best he ended it.  I think you should try to be more independent and call an exterminator about the roaches.

[ExpatInItaly]

18 hours ago, stillafool said:

If he said this to you he definitely wasn't having romantic feelings for you so it's best he ended it.  

Exactly. 

This has nothing to do with a fear of commitment, and everything to do with not having sustainable romantic feelings for OP. He did the right thing letting her go.