KelliM1969 Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 Me and my Fiancée are getting married February 17th, 2022 in Florida and when he was booking the flights/hotels, he booked the same hotel that he used to stay at with his ex wife when they vacationed at this spot. He even told his daughter in front of me that "this was the hotel I stayed in with your mother". Should this bother me? or should I let it go? The other issue is that we both love Luke Bryan and we are jetting off to vegas to see him perform right after our wedding, however, it was his decision to do this and it's another thing that him and his ex wife used to do together, go to all the Luke bryan concerts that could. I guess I'm just being insecure, any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 That would raise an eyebrow. I'd approach with care. Did you meet him while he was separated? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KelliM1969 Posted August 24, 2021 Author Share Posted August 24, 2021 21 minutes ago, glows said: That would raise an eyebrow. I'd approach with care. Did you meet him while he was separated? Well, him and his ex wife used to hang out with my sister and her husband all the time. We all know each other, but I we started talking before they technically split up, their relationship was over basically. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 2 minutes ago, KelliM1969 said: Well, him and his ex wife used to hang out with my sister and her husband all the time. We all know each other, but I we started talking before they technically split up, their relationship was over basically. So he was still married to his wife when you both started talking and dating? I'm asking not to put the blame on you but to get a clearer picture of the dynamics between him, you and his ex. If you were involved with a married man, he hasn't transitioned completely into being single. Is he divorced now and how long has he been divorced? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KelliM1969 Posted August 24, 2021 Author Share Posted August 24, 2021 3 minutes ago, glows said: So he was still married to his wife when you both started talking and dating? I'm asking not to put the blame on you but to get a clearer picture of the dynamics between him, you and his ex. If you were involved with a married man, he hasn't transitioned completely into being single. Is he divorced now and how long has he been divorced? They were divorced for a few years but never separated, they were trying to start over again. They were together for over 30 years. He went straight to me from her without any time alone for himself, which makes me worry about this upcoming marriage. He never took the time to be alone and single. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, KelliM1969 said: They were divorced for a few years but never separated, they were trying to start over again. They were together for over 30 years. He went straight to me from her without any time alone for himself, which makes me worry about this upcoming marriage. He never took the time to be alone and single. I understand the concern. I've been in your shoes. I think you should speak with him about staying at a different hotel if you want to continue on this timeline with the marriage. You're invested in this relationship and I don't know how upset you are or how reasonable it would be to you to postpone the marriage altogether. If you feel this is moving a little too quickly, you may have to be the wiser one between the two of you and slow things down a little. If you both care for each other, you're not going anywhere. I'll also mention that you both come with history - as we all do if we find love later in life. This is at your discretion but do tread with care. Also, if you like Luke Bryan and going to concerts, that's the interest that you both share. If he has shared it with someone else in the past, don't let it come between the both of you or undermine your relationship. I think you can find balance but keep your eyes wide open and be patient. Find a solution to the hotel situation if it's bothering you and stay somewhere else. It's early enough to cancel the booking. Edited August 24, 2021 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KelliM1969 Posted August 24, 2021 Author Share Posted August 24, 2021 5 minutes ago, glows said: I understand the concern. I've been in your shoes. I think you should speak with him about staying at a different hotel if you want to continue on this timeline with the marriage. You're invested in this relationship and I don't know how upset you are or how reasonable it would be to you to postpone the marriage altogether. Looking back, I ignored a lot of signs similar to you and also ultimately paid the price (divorce) due to unreconcilable issues between us. At our divorce he cried and admitted that he didn't have enough time to himself between his two marriages. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you. If you feel this is moving a little too quickly, you may have to be the wiser one between the two of you and slow things down a little. If you both care for each other, you're not going anywhere. I'll also mention that you both come with history - as we all do if we find love later in life. This is at your discretion but do tread with care. Also, if you like Luke Bryan and going to concerts, that's the interest that you both share. If he has shared it with someone else in the past, don't let it come between the both of you or undermine your relationship. I think you can find balance but keep your eyes wide open and be patient. Find a solution to the hotel situation if it's bothering you and stay somewhere else. It's early enough to cancel the booking. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about this. I appreciate your advice, It is indeed something that I need to talk out with him, I don't want us heading down the divorce road right after we marry. Maybe we should slow things down a bit, we just got engaged a few months ago. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 24, 2021 Share Posted August 24, 2021 People are creatures of habit. They go where they know. I don't think your FI booked this hotel to undermine your nuptials or throw the EX-W in your face. He simply liked the hotel & knew it had what he wanted. Tell him it bugs you & offer some alternative hotel options so he doesn't have to work to find something else suitable. Hopefully it was a fully refundable reservation. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 29, 2021 Share Posted August 29, 2021 On 8/24/2021 at 3:34 PM, KelliM1969 said: Me and my Fiancée are getting married February 17th, 2022 in Florida and when he was booking the flights/hotels, he booked the same hotel that he used to stay at with his ex wife when they vacationed at this spot. He even told his daughter in front of me that "this was the hotel I stayed in with your mother". Should this bother me? or should I let it go? The other issue is that we both love Luke Bryan and we are jetting off to vegas to see him perform right after our wedding, however, it was his decision to do this and it's another thing that him and his ex wife used to do together, go to all the Luke bryan concerts that could. I guess I'm just being insecure, any thoughts? I think the thing that would concern me is his insensitivity. A lot of guys are insensitive, sadly. It depends how much this trait matters to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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