glows Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 Or, it’s just a message from someone you used to know. Remaining friends isn’t realistic if you’re needing distance and time to heal past a relationship ending. Use your good sense for things like this and filter those messages since it seems you still have them coming through. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 10 hours ago, Jonny80 said: Seems like she’s goading me in some way? She's manipulating you. Same old, same old. If you want to keep up the drama, have at it. You know what you're getting into. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonny80 Posted August 21, 2021 Author Share Posted August 21, 2021 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: She's manipulating you. Same old, same old. If you want to keep up the drama, have at it. You know what you're getting into. Well not really? She’s in pain but she ended the relationship, she had a choice but I didn’t! im actually in a good place getting on with things, I’m a decent person and whilst she caused this outcome I do wonder at the back of my mind why.. she told me to move on then requested friendship followed by telling me how she’s struggling but I seem fine without her.. I told her I accepted her decision and am getting on with my life as requested.. what more does she expect from me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonny80 Posted August 21, 2021 Author Share Posted August 21, 2021 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: She's manipulating you. Same old, same old. If you want to keep up the drama, have at it. You know what you're getting into. Also, considering how I felt 2 weeks ago I’m surprised how quick Iv got to this state of acceptance. all the stress and worry I had when I was with her has gone, my life is quiet right now but I have no issues or worry’s., I haven’t stoped loving or caring about her over night tho and I’m always thoughtful of other people, that’s just my nature as a person.. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 I don’t think she expects anything from you. She could just be saying what she likes or is on her mind with very little thought towards you. That’s the very definition of someone who’s thoughtless. She can work on her own issues and emotions separately also. Don’t use each other as a crutch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonny80 Posted August 21, 2021 Author Share Posted August 21, 2021 3 minutes ago, glows said: I don’t think she expects anything from you. She could just be saying what she likes or is on her mind with very little thought towards you. That’s the very definition of someone who’s thoughtless. She can work on her own issues and emotions separately also. Don’t use each other as a crutch. I’m not expecting anything from her.. she told me it’s over, then continue to tell me she loves me, thinks I’m wonderful, she misses me etc, then proceed to keep telling how she’s struggling.. she’s the author of her own pain. She caused this.. but she seems agitated that iv stopped chasing her and it appears I’m no longer affected by her.. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 4 minutes ago, Jonny80 said: I’m not expecting anything from her.. she told me it’s over, then continue to tell me she loves me, thinks I’m wonderful, she misses me etc, then proceed to keep telling how she’s struggling.. she’s the author of her own pain. She caused this.. but she seems agitated that iv stopped chasing her and it appears I’m no longer affected by her.. At some point you can put a stop to that “agitation” that’s coming through. It’s holding you back from moving on. What’s the point of listening to that drivel if she’s caused all her own issues? You’re not her therapist so hold on the care/consideration. It’s not your burden. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonny80 Posted August 21, 2021 Author Share Posted August 21, 2021 2 hours ago, glows said: At some point you can put a stop to that “agitation” that’s coming through. It’s holding you back from moving on. What’s the point of listening to that drivel if she’s caused all her own issues? You’re not her therapist so hold on the care/consideration. It’s not your burden. But to be fair it’s only been 2 weeks, it’s unhealthy for me to start jumping into new relationships until Iv got this out of my system so it’s not holding me back to much.. I just don’t quite understand her need to keep telling me she’s struggling as if it was me that caused it.. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 3 hours ago, Jonny80 said: . but she seems agitated that iv stopped chasing her and it appears I’m no longer affected by her.. She is a drama queen. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Jonny80 said: I just don’t quite understand her need to keep telling me she’s struggling as if it was me that caused it.. It would be best to stop the chitchat, relationship postmortem and dragging it out. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 3 hours ago, Jonny80 said: But to be fair it’s only been 2 weeks, it’s unhealthy for me to start jumping into new relationships until Iv got this out of my system so it’s not holding me back to much.. I just don’t quite understand her need to keep telling me she’s struggling as if it was me that caused it.. Moving on is not a new relationship. I meant getting on with your life and giving more time and effort to other areas of your life. You keep saying you don’t understand. You don’t have to understand, let me put it that way. The time, the effort, the job of understanding anything about her is finished and over. That’s the brilliance about a break up. Job is done. You can walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 On 8/21/2021 at 5:52 PM, Jonny80 said: I’m not expecting anything from her.. she told me it’s over, then continue to tell me she loves me, thinks I’m wonderful, she misses me etc, then proceed to keep telling how she’s struggling.. she’s the author of her own pain. She caused this.. but she seems agitated that iv stopped chasing her and it appears I’m no longer affected by her.. Bear in mind that she's an attention-seeking, temperamental person. She will want attention from anyone - new boyfriends, ex's. It does not mean she wants to get back in a romantic relationship, just that she wants attention. She doesn't want to think you are ok without her but she doesn't want you either. If she sends you any kind of invitation, you would be wise to ignore it and carry on ignoring, otherwise you will get pulled back into this painful drama again. Unless you enjoy the drama and pain, you know you need to recover from this relationship and to move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 On 8/21/2021 at 3:20 PM, Jonny80 said: But to be fair it’s only been 2 weeks, it’s unhealthy for me to start jumping into new relationships until Iv got this out of my system so it’s not holding me back to much.. I just don’t quite understand her need to keep telling me she’s struggling as if it was me that caused it.. Why are you still talkiing to her? It's best to cut contact so you don't have to try to understand her actions or words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
despairingbuttrying Posted September 24, 2021 Share Posted September 24, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 3:00 PM, Jonny80 said: For some that has seen my other posts over the past thew months will understand my situation.. despite everything that has happened and all my efforts my gf has today said we are finished as she sees no future with me.. it was only Saturday she was choosing wedding dresses with her mum and sister after driving 5 hours to be with her family and today she ends it by txt and all she can say is sorry… I’m heart broken, I’v given everything to this relationship even tho many has said I should get out months ago.. we can’t help who we fall in love with….. I feel cheated in some ways. I feel crushed..😢😢😢 I haven't seen your other posts but I wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this. This is heartbreaking. What exactly were her reasons? Link to post Share on other sites
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