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I'm 27 years old and have never been on a date. Learning to be happy alone


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I'm trying to find happiness now. I've tried and tried and nothing came out of pursuing dating. I've never been a girl's "type" or anything else. I have an unattractive face and everything makes sense to me now. At the same time, I've always struggled with loneliness which puts me in a spiral of negative thoughts, periodically.

I have come to the conclusion that I just need to accept this but I have no clue where to start. I already have a few hobbies and have added more to the list since the covid stuff started. But besides hobbies, what can I do to fill the void? 

 

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MeadowFlower

We as humans need more than hobbies, we need love. Some of us, (myself included) are not experiencing the kind of love that is in a romantic relationship, however there are other forms of love that we must have to have a fuller life. Like love from parents, siblings and friends. So I would say, if you can, make sure you are experiencing that kind of love. Even if it is with just one person. And in giving as well as receiving.

Hobbies are good too of course. 

Another thing with happiness, rather than trying to find it, just be. And live. And be grateful for small things. And let happiness 'happen' upon you. 

I have an unattractive face too. We are both in that tribe. Lol

 

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11 hours ago, Radio said:

. I've tried and tried and nothing came out of pursuing dating. 

The first place to start is an evaluation from a physician for possible depression and a referral to a therapist for ongoing support.

Is this a reaction to the catfish situation?:

 

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Hi there mate. 

I was like this.  I never dated until my mid 30s.  Up to that point I had given up and made no serious attempt.  Instead I pursued my passions and interests - and still do to this day. 

To fill the void go and meet up with as many friends and family as you can.  Wherever you visit, whether its a petrol station, cafe, shopping centres chat to the person at the check out: ask them how its been today, small talk but this practice will make you more confident in social skills.

I thought I would never meet anyone in my life then I met my first serious gf when I was 39!  We lived happily together for nearly 12 years. Don't leave as long as I did though.  Reason being I had made a lot of mistakes in my relationship.  When it finished I was 50 and it harder to find another free and single person at that age who has no ties.  Also, I made some of the same mistakes again in the next relationship and messed that up.  When you leave it too long there feel less opportunities to meet someone you like.  Now, I have lots of friends and although I still yearn to have my own gf to be able to share holidays with I no longer get so attached to the idea.  If it happens it happens if not then that's fine too.  However, I believe everybody gets given an opportunity or two presented in their life.  Your time will come too.  You just need to be ready.

Keep in good shape and always well presented.  Staying in shape is a cliche thing to say but it helps with your health as well gives you self-confidence.  I don't go to a gym but do 40 stomach crunches, 40 press ups and some barbell weights every morning before work to keep in shape.  Look after your diet too.  You'll be surprised by the results.

All the best buddy.

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  • 3 weeks later...

My relative in 30s never been on a date or even tried to. He is afraid and much too shy. You can do better. Thought of moving to another city where it is easier? This last 2 years has been discouraging from virus for everyone

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