poppyfields Posted July 27, 2021 Share Posted July 27, 2021 @mortensorchidI am curious as to why you classify yourself as a "sociopath." A true sociopath doesn't guard their emotions, they are not emotionally detached; they fake their emotions, they "go through the motions" of having emotions, they are very observant of what and how society expects them to behave and they fake behaving that way. They are masters of manipulation. They are charming, can be quite gregarious and are able to emote often times better than most, but it's all FAKE. That's what makes them so dangerous imo. IMO, from everything you posted, you are quite up front about the fact you are detached, unemotional and closed. That's honest mort, not sociopathic. So unless there are other things in your personality that point to you being sociopathic, based on what you've written in your threads, not seeing it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 27, 2021 Share Posted July 27, 2021 Speaking generally, I think these high priced dating services are for those who have a lot more money than free time, rather than for "normal people". Small biz owners, executives, entrepreneurs, etc, etc. Some of them could probably get dates without this sort of thing if they had more free time, and some of them probably couldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted July 27, 2021 Author Share Posted July 27, 2021 I try to adapt the cold and unfeeling side of myself as a coping mechanism to the hurt and abuse from the past. ANd to keep others outside. My dad is like this and some of it has rubbed off on me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 27, 2021 Share Posted July 27, 2021 2 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I just wanted to explore it and find out what it was all about. But I am not going to do this because it's so expensive. I think EHarmony operates in a similar marketing fashion, but this one doesn't have national advertising. I think I am too weird for anyone anyway. It's not for everyone & it is expensive. I thought eharmony did an OK job. especially since you describe yourself as "weird" I think their questionnaire may be beneficial to you. Give it a shot. There were coupons available on line if you look. Do pay because the free stuff doesn't let you contact people or only gives you limited ways to get in touch with people who reach out to you. If you are both "free" members you will never get together. I did 90 days for a very reasonable price years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 27, 2021 Share Posted July 27, 2021 (edited) 28 minutes ago, mark clemson said: Speaking generally, I think these high priced dating services are for those who have a lot more money than free time, rather than for "normal people". Small biz owners, executives, entrepreneurs, etc, etc. Some of them could probably get dates without this sort of thing if they had more free time, and some of them probably couldn't. There are plenty of those on tinder/bumble/hinge pulling just fine. Probably slayingbecause friends seem to go out with a new one every few weeks. Honestly, if I was an attractive guy with a lot to offer that’s what I’d be doing. It’s a chick buffet . I know people want to talk about quality, but it’s all about the match. If you’re using a 2500 service, what kind of chick do you think is going to pay 2500 for a bf? Quality hot girls don’t need to spend $2500 for a date. They get cuffed up quick. I’ve saw a documentary on the type of people who use high end matchmakers and it’s not good. The women are usually divorcees that are all plastic’d up looking like a real housewife and they’re desperate for their next husband Edited July 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 27, 2021 Share Posted July 27, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: But if you’re using a 2500 service, what kind of quality chick do you think are going to pay 2500 for a bf? Quality, hot girls don’t need us to spend $2500 for a date. A fair question. I think as a man what you'd get (or at least be expecting/hoping to get) is more or less a social equal. Ie, a wealthy but busy lady in perhaps her 30's or 40's who is very successful financially, but so busy it's hard for her to date. That's what you'd be hoping for (some men prefer to date "social equals") if you're the type of man to use a service like this, and MAYBE what you'd get. But of course no guarantees. She may have a difficult type A personality, but some men go for that as well or at least accept it. And some of those women need an "even more type A" man - ie, a busy high earner. They can build a little mini empire for themselves, IF it all works out... BTW, I think you're right that SOME of the types to use this sort of thing are "rich douchebags" or others who have difficulty dating due to personality/attitude, but sufficient money to blow on this sort of thing. But not everyone. Edited July 27, 2021 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 21 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I'd heard of this It's Just Lunch on and off over the years. Out of curiosity I researched and got a phone call from them earlier. I agreed to talk. I told them of experiences, they asked questions, etc. I asked how much? $2500 - 4500. Forget it! It depends. Different geographic locations might be local franchises. If one went out of business it’s not the whole company. give the price given I do t think they do that much legwork. If they are limited to say meeting 5 people thing of how many man- hours would be to do background checks and pay peop,e and pay rent and still make a profit. 10 hrs in setting up a date. some large cities I recall near ads for a dating service that was around social activities but it was based on who paid to join. pre online dating services were more common. Some did actual work while others operated similar to what online sites are now. Profile search systems. Those died with online dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) 59 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Quality hot girls don’t need to spend $2500 for a date. I think paying thousands of dollars just to get a date is rather excessive for a woman. Can't speak for men but women definitely don't need to spend that much in order to get a date. And let's face it, a matchmaking service is only going to get you a few dates with a few different men. Nothing more than that. They are not going guarantee that you are going to find yourself a husband. So, if you have some extra cash, spend it on making yourself more marketable. Like going to see a phycologist to get rid of the demons of the past that still haunt you. Or hire a professional photographer, who would take a nice photo of yourself that you could post on a dating site. You can have the best intro of yourself on a dating site, but let's face it, pictures are what attracts most men on dating sites. So why not make the most out of it? Or give that extra money to a good-cause charity. Edited July 28, 2021 by Alvi Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: There are plenty of those on tinder/bumble/hinge pulling just fine. Probably slayingbecause friends seem to go out with a new one every few weeks. Honestly, if I was an attractive guy with a lot to offer that’s what I’d be doing. It’s a chick buffet . I know people want to talk about quality, but it’s all about the match. If you’re using a 2500 service, what kind of chick do you think is going to pay 2500 for a bf? Quality hot girls don’t need to spend $2500 for a date. They get cuffed up quick. I’ve saw a documentary on the type of people who use high end matchmakers and it’s not good. The women are usually divorcees that are all plastic’d up looking like a real housewife and they’re desperate for their next husband If you are high profile, wealthy,well known, in a good paying position it can be hard to screen gold diggers from real people. Going online if you are recognized could hurt you professionally. A paid match maker is a good option to find someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 7 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: My dad has colleagues who are surgeons and met their wives the “conventional” way . Those two groups of people you mention should have less of a problem finding a good match and more options, provided there’s not something wrong with them, so I don’t know what you mean? If you don’t have time to find a date, you don’t have time to date or be in a relationship. I think it’s very difficult to find someone so busy that they didn’t simply have the time to go on a date, but I’m sure those people wouldn’t be a matchmaker looking for dates if they were in any way normal. It would also be a complete fallacy for them to think gold diggers don’t use matchmakers, so that would make them, not very smart it’s absolutely a red flag to me if a man or woman has to use an expensive matchmaker. It depends on how your dads friend met their spouse. If they met prior to or during med school it’s different if they have different careers vs he was already career established and didn’t want some characteristics like them bern married and had kids. they just don’t want to waste a few months churning through dating people. Maybe something wrong in their picker or can’t find one that fits them. some might have trouble meeting people. They aren’t good at initial random pick up line but are fine if something was set up. im not good at random meeting people in terms of dating. I e used OLD and had the best luck with eharmony in getting dates. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Alvi said: I think paying thousands of dollars just to get a date is rather excessive for a woman. Can't speak for men but women definitely don't need to spend that much in order to get a date. Getting a date is certainly not that hard if you are a woman. Getting a date with a quality suitable man can be much more challenging. If she's busy, discriminating or unique, dating just anybody won't do. Therefore matchmaking services who week out the unsuitable guys can be worth the money. (I am not sure that It's Just Lunch achieves that but I am trying to make a point about the time value of money) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Getting a date is certainly not that hard if you are a woman. Getting a date with a quality suitable man can be much more challenging. If she's busy, discriminating or unique, dating just anybody won't do. Therefore matchmaking services who week out the unsuitable guys can be worth the money. (I am not sure that It's Just Lunch achieves that but I am trying to make a point about the time value of money) Yes, I do get that. I do believe that matchmaking services are going to present you with the more high quality marriage minded men. But I wonder if matchmaking services are going to be that helpful in finding the right person for you after all. Sure, they may set you up with a few guys but that's about it. There is no guarantee at all that you are going to like these men or that they are going to like you in return. I wonder what their success vs failure rates look like. I wonder how people actually met their significant other through the matchmaking services in total. Sounds like a very risky investment if you ask me. How many people do they offer to set you up with? Four or five and that's it? Any actual dates might be very far in between and month and month apart. But it is probably just one more venue to meet people. Never know what might happen I suppose. One would have to research a matchmaking service company very carefully before signing anything. At the bright side, you are probably not going to get bombarded with the messages such as: "Hey sexy", "What are you up to tonight?", "Wanna come to my place?", etc... Edited July 28, 2021 by Alvi Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 12 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: But maybe he’s a weirdo with a lot of money to throw away. I’ve met those. To some people $2500 is nothing. I’d seriously be more concerned with what is it about this man that makes it so hard to find someone that he chooses to this route. Because to be real, 99% of quality, eligible people don’t have to. Red flag This. Or maybe he's a guy who literally just can not get a date so now he's desperate enough to pay four grand for the possibility of one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Well you may be out of step with many cultures, religions and traditions around the world who practice this. Hindus, orthodox Jews, southeast Asians, Muslims, etc.. It may not be popular in America, Europe etc, but most of the world doesn't live there. Google it.🙂 Huh? Isn't the person who posted about this in the U.S.? Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 13 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: what kind of chick do you think is going to pay 2500 for a bf? Quality hot girls don’t need to spend $2500 for a date. They get cuffed up quick. I’ve saw a documentary on the type of people who use high end matchmakers and it’s not good. I know someone who used Tawkify, which is similar. The client pays the big bucks but the people they cull from only pay $100-ish. My friend was set up with a few guys who were paying whatever it is Tawkify charges (I think around $1500) but she only paid $100 to be placed in their rotation of potential matches. Quote The women are usually divorcees that are all plastic’d up looking like a real housewife and they’re desperate for their next husband Welcome to south Florida. 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted July 28, 2021 Author Share Posted July 28, 2021 The ultimate answer is that I will not throw away so much money on this. I knew someone else who paid thousands of dollars for something similar and he said to me that he wasted his money. But, we all learn I guess. Had I known about this before I would have cautioned him about spending so much on it. Then again, I also knew someone who would go to the west coast to meet guys she met on Match.com, so never say never. I'm not doing it, that's for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 @mortensorchid If it's not for you, it's not for you. Dating is a personal choice. So are finances. You looked into it to find out what it's all about so good for you for being open to new things, even if this thing was not the right thing for you. Happy hunting Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts