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My girlfriend is in love with female friend


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Hi,

About one year ago my grirlfriend said she was curious on her female friend who is lesbian/bisexual. She now believe she is bisexual, and has a strong wish to explore this. The friend is a friend of me too and part of our network. Unfortunately I get turned on by it, but I feel very hurt emotionally. She says she often think of her when we make love. And I see that she get turned on when we talk about her. Although, I have said I am kind of comfortable about it since it is a girl... (my «secret» fantasy).


She says that she isn’t in love with her, and that she couldn’t have been a permanent partner. She talks a lot of her to others, and seems very exited when they stay together. I think she is in love... To my knowledge there has not been sex, only cuddling. Although she admits that she have fantasies of having sex. She hasn’t told her about those feelings since she is afraid of loosing her as friend.

During the last year my girlfriend has been more critical towards me and mention things about me that are negative for the relathionship. I know she discuss our relationship problems with her «friend», which I know is quite negative about men in general. Main problem is that I’m not good with talking about feelings. And that I’m not capable to satisfy her mental needs.

Maybe lesbian girlfriend will compensate for these, and make our relationship better. Or maybe not...

We agree that cuddling is okay with friends, but kissing and sex is not okay. With this I also could explore other girls in terms of being more than a  «normal» friend, with the limits mentioned above and that we are open and telling each other. I have tried this recently with a good female friend, although I get feelings similar to love...

This feel wrong for me, I am more into monogamy. All in all I wish to keep the family since we have children.

Any advice?

Edited by SimpleM
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1 hour ago, SimpleM said:

This feel wrong for me, I am more into monogamy. All in all I wish to keep the family since we have children. Any advice?

Unfortunately, you  need to step away and let her explore this on her own.

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9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately, you  need to step away and let her explore this on her own.

Step away in terms of breaking up with her?

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