Did your parents ever talk to you about dating/romance?

[HotRevolver93]

My dad never really talked to me about girls, he kinda just said find someone like your mom lol. It’s not like he ever gave me advice.

My mom would Always blow smoke up my butt telling me how handsome I was and then I believed her. I would go out try to talk to girls get rejected every time and I was like maybe she was wrong lol. The advice she gave me kinda centered around “you’ll find someone when you least expect it”, and “you’ll find someone when you stop looking and just live life”. 
 

That advice sucks for guys though because it’s never really gonna fall in your lap. I made attempts and it didn’t work and now that I stopped it still “hasn’t happened when least expected it”. 
 

Did you parents ever give you any advice or tips, did it work? 
 

 

[Sun Seeker]

Your mum is 100% right in her advice.

I remember when I first started obsessing about having to find a girlfriend, it just wasn't happening.

Only once I stopped looking, started living my life, women suddenly wanted to be a part of it, so I ended up getting too much attention and having to turn down quite a few.

To answer your question, no, learnt it all from experience, no advice or tips from parents.

[norealusername]

I never got any dating advice from my parents.

[HotRevolver93]

13 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

Your mum is 100% right in her advice.

I remember when I first started obsessing about having to find a girlfriend, it just wasn't happening.

Only once I stopped looking, started living my life, women suddenly wanted to be a part of it, so I ended up getting too much attention and having to turn down quite a few.

To answer your question, no, learnt it all from experience, no advice or tips from parents.

Yeah I stopped and none of that ever happened 

[Gaeta]

How old are you?

I'm in my 50s so absolutely not, my parents never ever taught me anything about dating. 

On the other hand, when my daughter came of age to date l talked to her often,  l explained the traps, the games, we talked about self respect etc. She stil went ahead and made her mistakes, it's how we learn life.

[basil67]

I'm the same as @Gaeta.   No discussions whatsoever with my parents, but I gave my daughter the relationship and sex education that I wish I'd had.

[glows]

 

2 hours ago, HotRevolver93 said:

My dad never really talked to me about girls, he kinda just said find someone like your mom lol. It’s not like he ever gave me advice.

My mom would Always blow smoke up my butt telling me how handsome I was and then I believed her. I would go out try to talk to girls get rejected every time and I was like maybe she was wrong lol. The advice she gave me kinda centered around “you’ll find someone when you least expect it”, and “you’ll find someone when you stop looking and just live life”. 
 

That advice sucks for guys though because it’s never really gonna fall in your lap. I made attempts and it didn’t work and now that I stopped it still “hasn’t happened when least expected it”. 
 

Did you parents ever give you any advice or tips, did it work? 
 

She might have been telling you in a roundabout way not to worry so much about girls and focus on your schooling or something of that nature. There's a saying about not worrying about finding the right woman - focus on being the right man. 

 

Edited July 3, 2021 by glows

[Miss Spider]

“Find someone like your mom“ is really sweet. Here and there, but not full on and I’m really grateful for that. 

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, HotRevolver93 said:

That advice sucks for guys though because it’s never really gonna fall in your lap. 

Well it depends on how old you are. If they're telling you about the birds and the bees when you're 25, that's a problem.

It seems like you are shy and inexperienced. Yet hormones are raging and opportunities aren't happing easily.

The best thing to do is get off the pickup artist sites about "reading signs".

Folks aren't the best ones to talk to sometimes. They'll just tell you it will happen when the time comes.

My advice about approaching girls remains the same:

 

[HotRevolver93]

6 hours ago, Gaeta said:

How old are you?

I'm in my 50s so absolutely not, my parents never ever taught me anything about dating. 

On the other hand, when my daughter came of age to date l talked to her often,  l explained the traps, the games, we talked about self respect etc. She stil went ahead and made her mistakes, it's how we learn life.

27

[HotRevolver93]

50 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Well it depends on how old you are. If they're telling you about the birds and the bees when you're 25, that's a problem.

It seems like you are shy and inexperienced. Yet hormones are raging and opportunities aren't happing easily.

The best thing to do is get off the pickup artist sites about "reading signs".

Folks aren't the best ones to talk to sometimes. They'll just tell you it will happen when the time comes.

My advice about approaching girls remains the same:

 

I’m not “shy”, I have a social life and friends lol. Girls just don’t like me like that. 

[HotRevolver93]

6 hours ago, glows said:

 

She might have been telling you in a roundabout way not to worry so much about girls and focus on your schooling or something of that nature. There's a saying about not worrying about finding the right woman - focus on being the right man. 

 

Yeah the only explanation is probably she knew it was over for me and didn’t want me to waste my time on trying so hard. It’s like anything else in life some people aren’t destined for. I’m not gonna tell my 5”6 son keep trying basketball to make it to the nba, I’m gonna tell him to focus on other things 

[d0nnivain]

No so much dating advise.  My parents were candid & straightforward about the physical aspects of sex & very conservative religious about the emotional side:  don't do it until after marriage.  Otherwise they were fairly liberal in that my teenaged curfew was 1/2 hour after all my friends.  I got some advice like "never let a boy talk you into anything" but that was about it.  

I'm not sure what to tell you.  If you have friends & a social life you have interpersonal skills.  You say you misread "hints" all the time & get rejected a lot.  I can't help but wonder if you are trying to do something different when trying to meet women.  If you don't start off genuine & friendly you risk coming off as ham-handed & creepy.  That is not to say you want to put yourself in the dreaded friend-zone but the initial contact doesn't have to be overtly sexual.  It can be kind but should probably escalate to flirty by at least the 2nd - 3rd meeting.  

Since in person isn't doing it for you, have you tried OLD / apps?  There you know the other person is looking for love / romance.  Skip anybody who says "friends first" because they are misusing the term & are confused about what they want; don't further complicate your search.  

Edited July 3, 2021 by d0nnivain

[chillii]

How do you know it's never gonna fall in your lap 27 maybe it just hasn't happened yet. And don't blame 5'7 there's a million shorter guy threads around here rather than waste my time repeating go read them.

l actually think some of the stuff your mum said was nice though , and she's also saying in that don't try too hard or stress , or give yourself up just for a girl. A lot of guys round here could do with some of that.

But nope, my parents never told me jack , didn't have too. Wonder what they would've said though if they did.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, HotRevolver93 said:

27

Do you have your own place, car, job, etc.?

Are you on dating apps talking to and meeting women? 

 

[smackie9]

Since we don't know you, we can't see you, talk with you, hangout and see what happens, like your body language, etc. You know what....ask your friends....ask them to be very candid when they tell you why/what's wrong/what can be improved. I think that's your best bet. Obviously you don't think our advice is usable because you keep shooting it down...so have at'er.

[smackie9]

3 hours ago, chillii said:

How do you know it's never gonna fall in your lap 27 maybe it just hasn't happened yet. And don't blame 5'7 there's a million shorter guy threads around here rather than waste my time repeating go read them.

l actually think some of the stuff your mum said was nice though , and she's also saying in that don't try too hard or stress , or give yourself up just for a girl. A lot of guys round here could do with some of that.

But nope, my parents never told me jack , didn't have too. Wonder what they would've said though if they did.

Mine didn't do much either. I had to let the streets teach me as they used to say. What really pissed me off is that my mom wouldn't let me sign up for sex ed classes, while my friends got to go.

Edited July 3, 2021 by smackie9

[Happy Lemming]

13 hours ago, HotRevolver93 said:

Did you parents ever give you any advice or tips, did it work?

My father only gave me one bit of advice..

"Don't buy cheap condoms, purchase the good ones. The expensive ones are worth it, in the end."

My father didn't elaborate, but he did have an older brother that got married at a very young age.

[glows]

4 hours ago, HotRevolver93 said:

Yeah the only explanation is probably she knew it was over for me and didn’t want me to waste my time on trying so hard. It’s like anything else in life some people aren’t destined for. I’m not gonna tell my 5”6 son keep trying basketball to make it to the nba, I’m gonna tell him to focus on other things 

You're taking this the wrong way.. don't take it too hard. No parent wants their child not to be successful in everything he/she wants. There are bigger and more pressing matters though. How are you in other areas of life? Are you independent and happy? If you're not feeling good about yourself, women pick up on that.

 

 

[Lotsgoingon]

My parents talked to me a lot about "dating."

Their advice: at all costs, don't make a girl pregnant. That was their advice. Don't make a girl pregnant. OK, my older brother married a woman who was not, let me say, very competent. So yes, I got advice to date girls/women who had something constructive going on with their life. Only later did I realize that the "do not make a girl pregnant" line was in response to my brother, who married his low-functioning gf only because he made her pregnant. 

Frankly, good dating advice would have been helpful. But in the old days (I'm in my 50s like Gaeta) I think you really learned dating from friends and through the time-honored method of trial and error, and "rejection" was part of that process. 

 

Edited July 3, 2021 by Lotsgoingon

[HotRevolver93]

6 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

No so much dating advise.  My parents were candid & straightforward about the physical aspects of sex & very conservative religious about the emotional side:  don't do it until after marriage.  Otherwise they were fairly liberal in that my teenaged curfew was 1/2 hour after all my friends.  I got some advice like "never let a boy talk you into anything" but that was about it.  

I'm not sure what to tell you.  If you have friends & a social life you have interpersonal skills.  You say you misread "hints" all the time & get rejected a lot.  I can't help but wonder if you are trying to do something different when trying to meet women.  If you don't start off genuine & friendly you risk coming off as ham-handed & creepy.  That is not to say you want to put yourself in the dreaded friend-zone but the initial contact doesn't have to be overtly sexual.  It can be kind but should probably escalate to flirty by at least the 2nd - 3rd meeting.  

Since in person isn't doing it for you, have you tried OLD / apps?  There you know the other person is looking for love / romance.  Skip anybody who says "friends first" because they are misusing the term & are confused about what they want; don't further complicate your search.  

OLD is way worse. I’ve done them all, paid for all the exclusives and everything. 
 

 The only matches I get are bots or girls tryna plug their IG or snap lol. I feel like my role on those sites is to be the filler. Like when you go to restaurants look at the menu and you see things people never order but it’s there to fill up the page 

[HotRevolver93]

6 hours ago, chillii said:

How do you know it's never gonna fall in your lap 27 maybe it just hasn't happened yet. And don't blame 5'7 there's a million shorter guy threads around here rather than waste my time repeating go read them.

l actually think some of the stuff your mum said was nice though , and she's also saying in that don't try too hard or stress , or give yourself up just for a girl. A lot of guys round here could do with some of that.

But nope, my parents never told me jack , didn't have too. Wonder what they would've said though if they did.

If it was gonna happen it would’ve probably happened already. There’s a reason the vast majority of people lose their virginities and have SOME sort of relationship experience by this age. 

[HotRevolver93]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you have your own place, car, job, etc.?

Are you on dating apps talking to and meeting women? 

 

Apartment, one car and a job. I tried dating apps since I was 19 and no dice. 

[HotRevolver93]

3 hours ago, glows said:

You're taking this the wrong way.. don't take it too hard. No parent wants their child not to be successful in everything he/she wants. There are bigger and more pressing matters though. How are you in other areas of life? Are you independent and happy? If you're not feeling good about yourself, women pick up on that.

 

 

I think parents who are honest know certain things are just not in the cards for their kid. 
 

ive been living in my own since I was 20, I’m pretty independent  

[Miss Spider]

How’s your circle? Do you have a solid group of homies?