jaynesnow Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 The married man(37yrs) i (29yrs)was dating for 1.5 yrs found out i was cheating on him. He got heartbroken and damaged and said i took him for a fool. He then went MIA and it has been 3weeks of him not picking my calls or responding to my texts. He always wanted exclusivity despite him being with his wife and 4 kids. I have apologised to him but he wouldn't respond to any of my texts. We work in the same company and i am resuming work on 24th May. I really dont know why i am stressing over what's not mine.. i need to be talked out of this.. please guys help.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 You need to get rid of this man.Ā He has zero right to expect or demand exlcusivity, and you would be foolish to give it to him. You can't cheat on someone you're not in a relationship with, so ignore his claims that you did. Stop apologizing. You owe him nothing. Don't go after other women's men.Ā DateĀ men who are single and available and can have a real relationship with you.Ā 4 2
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 33 minutes ago, jaynesnow said: Ā He always wanted exclusivity despite him being with his wife and 4 kids. I have apologised to him but he wouldn't respond to any of my texts.Ā * * *Ā I really dont know why i am stressing over what's not mine.. i need to be talked out of this.. please guys help. A MM is not entitled to exclusivity.Ā For him to demand that you have sex only with him while he goes home to his wife & kids is the height of arroganceĀ What hubris.Ā Ā It's not love.Ā Heck, it's not even respect.Ā It's only about control & his ego.Ā Ā F him.Ā Sorry to be vulgar but you need to be pi$$ed not groveling for crumbs of his affection.Ā Ā Go back to work.Ā Act like you have never met him &Ā do your job.Ā Meanwhile devote your energy to figuring out why your self-esteem is so far in the toilet that you let somebody demean you like this & come back begging for more bad treatment.Ā Ā 4 3
Author jaynesnow Posted May 18, 2021 Author Posted May 18, 2021 Thank you for your advise. I will do exactly that and never look back!Ā 4
Author jaynesnow Posted May 18, 2021 Author Posted May 18, 2021 31 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: You need to get rid of this man.Ā He has zero right to expect or demand exlcusivity, and you would be foolish to give it to him. You can't cheat on someone you're not in a relationship with, so ignore his claims that you did. Stop apologizing. You owe him nothing. Don't go after other women's men.Ā DateĀ men who are single and available and can have a real relationship with you.Ā Dating him was the worst thing i have ever done. I forgive myself and vow not to repeat it. It's a lesson learnt the hard way.Ā 3
Wiseman2 Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 53 minutes ago, jaynesnow said: Ā i was cheating on him.Ā He always wanted exclusivity despite him being with his wife Are you still dating the other guy? You did nothing wrong because you were not exclusive. SimplyĀ be cool calm and collected at work. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. 1 1
Author jaynesnow Posted May 18, 2021 Author Posted May 18, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you still dating the other guy? You did nothing wrong because you were not exclusive. SimplyĀ be cool calm and collected at work. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Everything blew out of proportion and i left the other guy.. i am single now
Wiseman2 Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 3 minutes ago, jaynesnow said: Ā i am single now Excellent. Now you are free to date honest decent single men.Ā 1
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Be single.Ā You could probably use some calm in your life.Ā If your MM bugs you at work pull him aside & threaten him.Ā "Look, we're over but we have to work together.Ā I expect you to be professional & so will I.Ā If you aren't I will take steps to protect myself & those will probably result in things becoming public that should be private.Ā So go back to work & leave me alone."Ā Ā Then carry on with ignoring him.Ā He's like a piece of office equipment -- you use him when you need to get the job done then other that a situational awareness so you don't walk into him or trip over him, he's of no consequence.Ā Ā 2
Harry Korsnes Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Question? Why on earth would you want contact with his?
Beachead Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) Hey @jaynesnow 5 hours ago, jaynesnow said: The married man(37yrs) i (29yrs)was dating for 1.5 yrs found out i was cheating on him. He got heartbroken and damaged and said i took him for a fool. He then went MIA and it has been 3weeks of him not picking my calls or responding to my texts. He always wanted exclusivity despite him being with his wife and 4 kids. I have apologised to him but he wouldn't respond to any of my texts. We work in the same company and i am resuming work on 24th May. I really dont know why i am stressing over what's not mine.. i need to be talked out of this.. please guys help. He's married OP.Ā Ā HeĀ cheated on his wife with you and did his family wrong which makes himĀ a untrustworthy husband and partner with poor character.Ā Because of that, you will have a very..very difficult timeĀ trusting him, if you two begin whatever relationship you think you will have with him. The only future you'll have with him is disaster.Ā Stop and cut his guy out.Ā - Beach Edited May 18, 2021 by Beachead 3
BaileyB Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Read these boards and you will find this is not uncommon, MM are by definition unfaithful partners but they expect fidelity from not only their wife - but also their affair partners. You have done nothing āwrongā here, except for the fact that you are in a relationship with a married man. THAT is what you need to own, not the fact that you have dated another man while engaged in an affair. YOU were entirely available to do that, as a single woman who is not in a committed or exclusive relationship.Ā My advice, donāt settle for this. First, there is the fact that you canāt ādateā aĀ married man. If you want to find a healthy relationship for yourself, you need to end this affair. But also, he is a hypocrite. Donāt allow him to make you feel badly about yourself.Ā 2 1
Just a Guy Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Hi Lady, this is s no brainer! You are single and were having an affair with a married man. You did not have much of a stake in this matter except that you were having fun. Your MM was not available to you for a full time relationship and for him you were just a side piece to be discarded when he grew tired of you. To expect you to be exclusive with him was a ridiculous expectation on his part.Ā I hope you have learnt your lesson that a) Cheating never pays and is always an unsatisfactory and unethical way of trying to build a relationship. Apart from the fact that you were actively aiding your MM to cheat on his wife you were also responsible for hurting her grievously even though she may not have been aware of it. Put yourself in her place and you will realize the extent of your wrong doing. As a young unattached woman you have plenty of opportunities to find an eligible and compatible partner for your self. If you are not yet ready to settle down, you have innumerable opportunities to meet single men looking out for no more than a good time with whom you can hook up for your fun and games. Finally, when you are ready to settle down your experience of having played the field will stand you in good stead to be able to find a suitable partner for yourself. Just remember that MMs are ticking time bombs. Warm wishes. 1
Beentheretoooften Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Each ap sets rules for the A to work. One of his was he wanted you to be exclusive. Both ppl can agree to the rules or not. Iām sure you had some in there too. Ā Glad it worked out for you Iām the endĀ
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