Carolineenzo

[Caroenz]

I was in a relationship for 10 years, and felt the last year that there was no passion. By an accident I started to write with an old friend David (who we both know, but haven’t been in touch with for years. He wrote to me (first) admitting that he was not happy with his girlfriend. I told him that I was also not happy. So we started to message each other every day for a month and when we realized that the messages started to be romantic and emotional we decided both to break up with our partners as none of us wanted to cheat physically. We decided to finally meet after 2 intense months of texting. He told me that he had had developed feelings for me that he had never felt before and he seemed addicted to me. He lives in another country, 1 hour flight from my country. He came to me and we spent almost 1 week together in airbnb. It was very intense and passionate, and the following month I went to see him in his home country. T We were holding hands and our romance lasted for about 3 months. However, when I returned home, he told me that things were moving too fast and that he needed his space as he was not ready to jump in a new relationship, although he was the one wanting us to be close. When that happened he suddenly “pushed me away” and said that it’s best we move on (and stop being in touch for a while) as he could not see how the long distance relationship would work out. I was speechless as I didn’t see it coming. I wished him all the best and shortly after my previous partner (during 10 years) wanted us to give it another chance and try to win the passion pack. I realized that I still somewhere deep inside loved him and agreed to give us another chance. 
It‘s been one month since David and I exchanged the last message, although he has been checking my Instagram stories and could recently see that me and my 10 Yr boyfriend were skiing together. 
He (David) suddenly writes to me: How are you doing? And shares a funny article about the country where we met many years ago. I reply: that I’m ok asking how he is doing? He replies all good and that he hopes I’m happy. 
I reply to David: I was happy with you, but now I’m trying to work on things with my ex (boyfriend during 10 years) and it’s going well. I hope that he (David) is happy to. 
At this point I thought he (David) was not going to add anything else, but then he writes:
I don’t understand why you are trying with him again when it clearly didn’t work out. Why don’t you try to be on your own for a while. Anyway I’m on tinder and bumble and have dates from time to time. Tiring and sometimes fun. Got one new friend because we both saw it wouldn’t work. 

Why did he/David write this? Why does he need to advice me whether I should be on my own and why should I know about his active dating life? 
Is he jealous, does he miss me or just bored? What should I reply? 

[d0nnivain]

Don't reply   You & him had a fling.  You dumped your BF for him.  Since you are trying to rekindle with your BF, have enough respect for him not to engage with David.  His motivations do not factor into the ethical choice for you. 

[Caroenz]

53 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Don't reply   You & him had a fling.  You dumped your BF for him.  Since you are trying to rekindle with your BF, have enough respect for him not to engage with David.  His motivations do not factor into the ethical choice for you. 

but honestly why does he care how I’m doing? Why should I know about his Tinder/dating life and why is he not moving on?
Like I’m trying to do.i feel like asking him this, but on the other hand maybe best to ignore 

[basil67]

I think it's not complicated at all - he likely feels that enough time has passed that you can be friends.   

If you don't want to be friends, just block him.   

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Caroenz said:

but honestly why does he care how I’m doing? Why should I know about his Tinder/dating life and why is he not moving on?
Like I’m trying to do.i feel like asking him this, but on the other hand maybe best to ignore 

Who knows why he cares?  He may still like you.  He may be upset that you are moving on.  Maybe he was lonely.  It doesn't really matter.  It is best to ignore him 

[Acacia98]

1 hour ago, Caroenz said:

but honestly why does he care how I’m doing? Why should I know about his Tinder/dating life and why is he not moving on?
Like I’m trying to do.i feel like asking him this, but on the other hand maybe best to ignore 

Maybe he got involved with you in the first place because he was "competing" with your boyfriend. So your returning to your boyfriend irks him because it means your boyfriend "won."

I'm just throwing that out there as a possibility. I'm not actually committed to it. I'm more inclined to think this David guy or whatever his name is has a high opinion of himself and doesn't know when to shut up.

What I find myself wondering is why you left the door open to communication with this guy once you decided to reconcile with your boyfriend. If you want to give your current relationship a chance, block this guy. He doesn't respect boundaries. And you two have a history of cheating (emotionally) on your current guy. You can't be friends.