Coffee shop guy and me?

[IrisZion]

I go to a coffee shop regularly where I ve noticed this one cashier constantly staring at me. We wear masks but he has seen me without a mask multiple times. 

A month ago, I remember queuing up and he was making coffee. He moved away towards the kitchen of the shop until he saw me and simply stood there , looking at me. I saw him but didn't know how to react so did nothing. Then he went into the kitchen.

Last week, while I was going to university, I  crossed the shop and saw him serving a customer. We both saw each other from the distance and I immediately looked away. I came back to the store to get coffee and his attitude was a bit cold. He saw me standing and I was next to be called but didn't call me instead started looking around at his colleagues. After 1 min called me and was not particularly friendly.

Last week, I caught him looking at my university student card which has my picture, name, etc. 
I went to the shop yesterday and while he was serving a customer in front of me, he was blatantly staring at me a lot, making lot of eye contact. He asked me if I wanted a hot drink and he started saying "I will give you  " but stopped. I thought he wanted to give me a paper bag but didn't say anything afterwards nor did he give me the bag.

He doesn't say anything else when he's serving me. I can't say anything on my own as I'm not sure if he's only visually staring or has other intentions etc.

I went to the shop today and again he was on duty. So there were 2 more cashiers who were free but as always he saw me , stared like he usually does and then waved at me to come over. Stupidly I went over to him instead of the cashier in front of me and asked him for hot drink. He billed me and then said have a good day all while staring directly into my eyes.  

I want to briefly mention his background. I'm fairly certain he's Latin American. Most of his colleagues are also Latin with whom he talks in Spanish a lot. Here in the UK, Latin people mostly socialise within their circles so their English is not as fluent. I'm saying this as my university has a lot of staff who are Latin but they are all speak in the same way as he does. I guess he's maybe a bit more fluent due to interacting with customers.

His staring game has gotten a bit more obvious since he saw me without a mask.  Yesterday it was probably the most blatant one. So was today when he simply waved at me to come over.

Now what does his behaviour mean? 

Note- This is an evolving situation as I go to the shop almost everyday for coffee. He , however works 3-4 days I think so I ll keep updating if things ever escalate but for the time being, I am interested in knowing. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by IrisZion

[Alvi]

I would take a guess and say that he is attracted to you. Maybe he is too shy or hey, is he even allowed to flirt with the customers? I worked at a coffee shop place once where my boss would scream at us if we said anything to a customer except a basic greeting. I know, crazy, lol.

Why don't you say hello to him next time and see what happens? Maybe smile at him. Are you actually interested in him yourself? 

24 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

Last week, while I was going to university, I  crossed the shop and saw him serving a customer. We both saw each other from the distance and I immediately looked away. I came back to the store to get coffee and his attitude was a bit cold. He saw me standing and I was next to be called but didn't call me instead started looking around at his colleagues. After 1 min called me and was not particularly friendly.

When you looked away, he interpreted it as a sign that you are not interested. Of course he is going to act a bit cold since in his opinion his interest wasn't being reciprocated. 

[IrisZion]

7 minutes ago, Alvi said:

I would take a guess and say that he is attracted to you. Maybe he is too shy or hey, is he even allowed to flirt with the customers? I worked at a coffee shop place once where my boss would scream at us if we said anything to a customer except a basic greeting. I know, crazy, lol.

Why don't you say hello to him next time and see what happens? Maybe smile at him. Are you actually interested in him yourself? 

When you looked away, he interpreted it as a sign that you are not interested. Of course he is going to act a bit cold since in his opinion his interest wasn't being reciprocated. 

I do find him cute. He also reminds me of my ex tbh. Except my ex is tall and he is average height. He definitely has really nice eyes for a guy.

The shop is pretty busy so I don't know if he can actually flirt with customers haha but he can still say something which can give me a hint. I can't really show interest as I don't know if it will make him uncomfortable. 

I ve said hello, smiled today. I know smiling from the mask rarely helps lol but I wear my mask quite low so he can see my full eye area and you can tell when someone smiles at you. So I wonder why he doesn't smile back etc.

He's actually behaving like my ex too apart from resembling him in certain ways haha

 

BTW I was simply crossing the shop and there is a street right next to it so I can't keep looking at him and hit myself lol. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by IrisZion

[IrisZion]

Any other replies?

[glows]

It's hard to say. He could have been staring at you because he's waiting for you to order? Because you seem a bit lost or hesitant if so? (not saying you are) He could be staring at you because of what you're wearing or he recognizes you as a repeat customer? There are all kinds of reasons but most of all I think it sounds like he's just doing his job. What do you want this to be? Just curious.

[IrisZion]

8 hours ago, glows said:

It's hard to say. He could have been staring at you because he's waiting for you to order? Because you seem a bit lost or hesitant if so? (not saying you are) He could be staring at you because of what you're wearing or he recognizes you as a repeat customer? There are all kinds of reasons but most of all I think it sounds like he's just doing his job. What do you want this to be? Just curious.

It's been a bit chilly here so usually I wear thick coats but it was warm 2 days ago so I wore a top and jeans and he was blatantly staring a lot. More than he usually does all while serving the guy who was ordering things from him.

I do seem a bit lost haha as I'm always in a bit of a hurry.

Yeah like you said it's a bit hard to tell if he's habitual starer. But he could be friendly as he knows I study around the area? He's already seen my card which is why I feel this weird vibes. Usually he stares, looks away after the order but he keeps making this constant eye contact with me which is awfully reminiscent of my ex.

and his team member saw me 3 times and she began talking already.

Um I'm interested in hooking up lol. But I want to see if he's actually feeling the same???

Edited April 2, 2021 by IrisZion

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, IrisZion said:

Any other replies?

Enjoy the crush and flirtation and the coffee ☕.

As far as analyzing the whole thing, does this have to do with your ex/recent breakup? You mentioned that a few times.

[IrisZion]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Enjoy the crush and flirtation and the coffee ☕.

As far as analyzing the whole thing, does this have to do with your ex/recent breakup? You mentioned that a few times.

Lol. Btw what are your thoughts???

 It's just his appearance and his recent demeanor. My ex did the exact same thing like staring, prolonged eye contact before wooing me. So it reminds me of him through this guy. Except that there was something different about my ex which pulled me into him instantly which is missing in this guy. 

 

Edited April 2, 2021 by IrisZion

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

 what are your thoughts???

My thoughts are enjoy the fantasy. Enjoy the staring. My other thoughts are why aren't you dating others now that you are single?

[IrisZion]

47 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

My thoughts are enjoy the fantasy. Enjoy the staring. My other thoughts are why aren't you dating others now that you are single?

I'm open to this dude that's why asking. Waiting to see if he moves ???

[Fletch Lives]

That guy meets tons of women where he works and has his pick. Plus, he is nice because that's in his job description.

 

I guess if he asks you for your number you'll know then he likes you.

[IrisZion]

53 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

That guy meets tons of women where he works and has his pick. Plus, he is nice because that's in his job description.

 

I guess if he asks you for your number you'll know then he likes you.

That guy meets tons of women where he works and has his pick.

 

What do you mean by this?

[Fletch Lives]

I mean he has tons of women coming at him so with all the competition, your chances are slim. Sorry.

[IrisZion]

24 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

I mean he has tons of women coming at him so with all the competition, your chances are slim. Sorry.

How are my chances slim when he's the one always staring at me?

[elaine567]

2 hours ago, IrisZion said:

How are my chances slim when he's the one always staring at me?

How do you know he doesn't stare at every woman or at everyone who comes into the place? 
His job is to serve the public, so why wouldn't he stare? if his language skills aren't that good then he may need to concentrate a lot hence the staring.
As you frequent the place a lot then just say hello. 
Service staff are often difficult to to assess because their job involves engaging with you, add in wishful thinking and suddenly he  is mad about you.
 

Edited April 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed Inappropriate Comment

[IrisZion]

2 hours ago, elaine567 said:

How do you know he doesn't stare at every woman or at everyone who comes into the place? 
His job is to serve the public, so why wouldn't he stare? if his language skills aren't that good then he may need to concentrate a lot hence the staring.
As you frequent the place a lot then just say hello. 
Service staff are often difficult to to assess because their job involves engaging with you

If he doesn't notice me he would treat me like he does to every other customer. I know this, as we have to wait there for coffee to get served. 

I know what service staff jobs are like and I agree that that's I'm not saying anything until he says something.

 

Edited April 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[poppyfields]

18 hours ago, IrisZion said:

Last week, I caught him looking at my university student card which has my picture, name, etc. 

Iris, I'm confused by this^.  How does a coffee server get a hold of your student ID?

I suppose if he were serving you alcohol, he'd need to look at it but this was coffee so confused, can you clarify?

In truth, it's difficult to know what his behaviour means, we're not there.   It could mean something, it could mean nothing.

What's your take, what do you think it means?  

Men look (stare) at me too, if it's glaringly obvious, I find it creepy and rude.

How about saying hi and striking up a bit of convo?

I dunno, if me and I were crushing, I'd enjoy the flirtation, the tension, and let it play out naturally.  

 

Edited April 2, 2021 by poppyfields

[IrisZion]

11 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Iris, I'm confused by this^.  How does a coffee server get a hold of your student ID?

I suppose if he were serving you alcohol, he'd need to look at it but this was coffee so confused, can you clarify?

In truth, it's difficult to know what his behaviour means.  It could mean something, it could mean nothing.

Men look (stare) at me too, if it's glaringly obvious, I find it rude.  

How about saying hi and striking up a bit of convo?

I dunno, if me, I'd enjoy the flirtation, the tension, and let it play out naturally.  

 

Hi. The ID is my student card. I have this transparent double sided wallet which I got for my uni to keep my cards and my student card is on top all the cards as I need the most for entrance to library/discounts etc. I didn't notice it was on display while I was making the payment through contactless until I looked up and saw him staring at it.

Yeah I agree with you. I can't tell too so that's why I'm not doing much. I ll try to make an informal chat and see if that gives him confidence? He does seem like he gained a little bit as I was going to go to the other guy in front of me for making the payment until he started waving and I went to him. Which I think was a mistake since I felt it would make him feel I'm interested? Lol . 

 

Yes I agree. I ll let it go as it is naturally. I guess if he's actually interested he will eventually say something.

Edited April 2, 2021 by IrisZion

[poppyfields]

25 minutes ago, IrisZion said:

Yes I agree. I ll let it go as it is naturally. I guess if he's actually interested he will eventually say something.

Exactly, have fun with it. There's no rush in 'hooking up' at least until pandemic ends. 

[IrisZion]

8 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Exactly, have fun with it. There's no rush in 'hooking up' at least until pandemic ends. 

Haha true. I just find it funny now going there as he is so blatant about it now. Which i don't even know how to react to. Like he keeps this eye contact on which I don't understand what to do. My ex was a student at my uni so when he did this, it was easier for me to reciprocate but here he's in the shop and I cant risk making him uncomfortable if he's not interested and is a habitual starer?? And even if he is, it's hard to talk much as the shop does really well in terms of customer inflow so there will always be someone next in line.

Edited April 2, 2021 by IrisZion

[Gaeta]

IrisZion: You have nothing to lose! next time pay cash and put a little note with the money with your name and number. This guy is at work and he can't afford to be reprimanded (or lose his job) for attempting to flirt with a customer. 

[IrisZion]

12 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

IrisZion: You have nothing to lose! next time pay cash and put a little note with the money with your name and number. This guy is at work and he can't afford to be reprimanded (or lose his job) for attempting to flirt with a customer. 

Omg omg omg lol!!! I ll probably be embarrassed to go to the coffee shop next time. I have to go there everyday for croissants and coffee and what if he didn't respond??? 

I mean he was saying something like I will give you but stopped in his tracks??? I thought he meant paper bag but nope 😕

Any other method???? 

[Johnjohnson2017]

As he is staring at you, you are staring back at him or at least he has noticed that you noticed him.

He is interested in you and he is wondering whether you are interested in him. He might not be the most confident man. He might be feeling a little intimidated by you.

If you happen to be helped by him, chit chat a little. Maybe ask him if he is a student there. As he gains confidence, he'll be more open 

I don't think he stares at everyone. He only stares at someone that he is attracted to and at someone that seems to be noticing him.

When you abruptly turned your head on him, he took that as a rejection so he acted cold as he thought you had lost interest or thought you were never interested.

[Gaeta]

Embarrassment won't kill you IrisZion lol

Other method: Next time you pay for your order just say I'm IrisZion by the way what's your name? ...nice meeting you Enrique, have a wonderful day 🙂 That's all !

[IrisZion]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Embarrassment won't kill you IrisZion lol

Other method: Next time you pay for your order just say I'm IrisZion by the way what's your name? ...nice meeting you Enrique, have a wonderful day 🙂 That's all !

Lol omg! I know his name tho. The staff were badges and his name is on it 😭😛

OK I will try something like this