CalipsoRose Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Im in my late 20s now but when I was 22 I met a man who to this day I believe was the love of my life and I messed it up. He was a Navy Seal and he was talking about marrying me on the second date. We dated for 6 months but he said he was being deployed and wanted to marry me after only 3 months. Obviously that was too soon and it scared me off, being so young, I wasn't ready for marriage life. I was immature and didn't want anything serious, I still wanted to go out and date guys and try to see if I could find "better". Well long story short, I never found better. I never had as great of a time with any other guy as I had with him. He would drive over an hour to come see me every weekend, pick me up and take me on these extravagant dates like driving me up to the mountains and renting out a beautiful hotel room for us, taking me out to tail gates and bonfires and meeting all of his navy seal buddies and their wives on the beach, it was a summer full of fun and great memories. He was an extrovert and I'm an introvert so he pulled me out of my shell and there was never a dull moment. Fast forward to when he was about to be deployed, he hadn't proposed yet but I could tell he was going to at any point very soon. I had a panic attack about it one morning (I was dealing with a lot of anxiety back then) and like ripping off a bandaid, I called him and broke up with him. He tried for weeks to get me back, I ignored him and basically just told him I wasn't ready. Years later I found out he was seeing another girl overlapping the same time he was seeing me, but I guess she was his second choice, because he ended up marrying her before he deployed instead. So yeah, he was cheating on me. She demanded he get her pregnant immediately and he later told me she said "If you don't have a baby with me right now, I won't be here when you come back." and they had only been married for a year at that point so there was trouble in paradise. They had a baby boy and divorced when he was just 3 months old. This entire time, I was regretting my decision to break up with him. I was feeling intense remorse and wanted to be back with him. After learning about his divorce and baby, it didn't stop me from seeing him one last time. When I saw him again, he was a shell of the man he used to be. He went from being muscular to being frail and his personality went from being fun loving to quiet and somber. I knew not only did the deployment take a toll on him, but so did the divorce. It wasn't the same, it didn't feel magical anymore. The spark was gone. It was like if you've ever seen the Notebook, that scene where Noah and the widow are laying in bed and it just feels empty. Thats what it was like. Whereas before, the chemistry and love was off the charts. So sad. I told him I wanted to see him again and he said he wasn't looking for a relationship right now because he had to make sure his ex wife and son were ok and get his life back on track. I felt crushed and like everything was my fault. I haven't spoken to him since and that was about 4 years ago now. Ive dated a lot of guys since him but no guy has ever come close to the feeling I had with him, no guy has ever done as much for me as him either. The dates are so lame in comparison. The effort is night and day. I feel like I will never get that again in my life. As if he was the "one" that I messed up, he was the best one I was going to get, and its downhill from here. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 @CalipsoRose You're hankering after a guy who love bombed you and cheated on you. And likely cheated on the other woman with you, then was so desperate to keep her that he had a baby with her. This guy has more red flags than a bull fighting convention. Your "panic attack" was actually your commonsense kicking in. Had you married him, it's likely you would have ended up divorced just like his ex. I can imagine how exhilarating it was to be with a guy who's being overly lavish with love and spoiling, but it wouldn't have continued long term - it never does. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 4 hours ago, CalipsoRose said: Ive dated a lot of guys since him but no guy has ever come close to the feeling I had with him, no guy has ever done as much for me as him either. The dates are so lame in comparison. The effort is night and day. I feel like I will never get that again in my life. As if he was the "one" that I messed up, he was the best one I was going to get, and its downhill from here. Maybe stop comparing guys to this one guy that didn't work out and flamed out quick. You're trying to run a marathon, and you're saying that this guy that ran a great 100m is better than all of these others that may not be great out of the gates but will last longer than him. He was an illusion, fairy dust, not anything that could translate to a real relationship. 6 months is not enough time for people to begin showing their bad habits. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 Unfortunately it seems like you are nostalgic about your more carefree youth, and this guy was part of that chapter. Link to post Share on other sites
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