Filler Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 (edited) This is not a generalized question. I'd like to hear answers from various different perspectives of individual men. Why do men seek relationships vs. casual sex? What does being in a relationship mean in general for men in today's world and age. What is the purpose of it? [] Men seem to have no problem with having casual sex vs most women, so why would they seek being in a relationship? I mean, is it because women want to be monogamous and men have no choice but to become exclusive, or is there another reason to it? What do men and women do, other than being intimate, when they live together? What is the benefit of it? I ask because I was raised by a single mother and I haven't been in a relationship before because I was super busy and didn't wanna space time for it and would like to know as much as possible about what relationships are all about. Thank you! Edited March 18, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Spacing, Punctuation, Potential Misinformation Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 I'd be interested in the responses to this. I have all sorts of views on this as a single woman who has been long term single, in monogamous, open, OW and casual relationships and has now settled into a happy medium of independence/singledom but has a 'guy on the side' in the form of a MM. I have his perspective and what the situation looks like to him and it's not just a sex thing, and he's definitely not looking to procreate so the David Attenborough stance isn't enough to explain that on a basic level. You can't lump all men in together. Some of them are animals but some of them are nice people just trying to work things out. Anyway, I'll shush, because I'm not a man, but I will follow this thread with interest. Especially interested to hear from the MMs on this if there are any reading here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 Just courio 10 hours ago, Filler said: I haven't been in a relationship before Just curious why this is posted under "other man/woman", if you are not and have never been in a relationship? Unfortunately you have a lot of preconceived notions about sex and monogamy. Why is that? It's completely up to you to decide if you want casual sex or a committed relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 (edited) Too broad of a question as different men have different views on relationship with women and different needs. Some men that have options with women choose a relationship because they're just tired of dating, because the dating process can be tedious at times. Some men want to share their life with a woman and have children, build a family, all that. Some men without a lot of options just want to find *someone* that loves them and to get guaranteed sex. It depends on the guy and what he values. Edited March 16, 2021 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 Some men want to get married and have children, while others don't. For some men "variety is the spice of life" while others are content having sex with the same woman for many years in a monogamous relationship. For me... I was nomadic and moved around quite a bit (in my youth), so I had a lot of short term relationships with women. This satisfied my need for sex. Now, I am retired and have planted roots. I've been dating the same woman for 9 years, neither of us wants to get married. We are both happy with the status quo, so the relationship continues. As a side note, very few woman I dated wanted "something casual", most wanted a permanent commitment/relationship in the form of marriage. Usually at the 2 year mark, they'd start with the marriage talk, at which point I would bail and move on to the next woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 On 3/15/2021 at 3:13 PM, Filler said: This is not a generalized question. I'd like to hear answers from various different perspectives of individual men. Why do men seek relationships vs. casual sex? There are plenty of men who like being fathers, spending time with their families, not just impregnating women and walking away to go find the next one. Part of that is probably socialization, but there are joys in family life for many men, just as there are for women. Some men aren't particularly happy being on their own. Loneliness, etc. Some men probably feel they are "missing something" or not doing something they "should" do, e.g. due to socialization if they don't get married. Some men are "sponges" and mooch off women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HotRevolver93 Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 (edited) I’ve failed at both trying to get casual and relationship sex lol. I’d love to sleep around but I don’t have that opportunity and I’ve tried to get relationships and those have failed as well. ive always been Really envious or guys in committed relationships though. Having a woman who is attracted to you and holds them down must be a great feeling. Edited March 17, 2021 by HotRevolver93 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 (edited) On 3/15/2021 at 3:13 PM, Filler said: [] Quote This is not a generalized question. I'd like to hear answers from various different perspectives of individual men. Why do men seek relationships vs. casual sex? What does being in a relationship mean in general for men in today's world and age. What is the purpose of it? It is a generalized question because you are generalizing about men, and there is no general answer. Some want a relationship because they want to lock down sex, or have kids, it is their religious beliefs, or they are co-dependent, or she makes him feel like no one else in the world and he can't live without her, etc....reasons range from the practical and material to the spiritual and emotional. In todays world and age? Is fairly meaningless as different people are in different situations, assuming you just mean where the majority f the posters here are likely form, AU, CA, UK, US. Granted it is much less likely men (and women) seek relationships to primarily have children to help work the farm these days as opposed to the 1820's. Simply put, the reasons men like relationships are for the same reasons women do, especially these days in parts of the world where a woman does not need a man for economic sustenance. Edited March 18, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted post 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 (edited) On 3/15/2021 at 3:13 PM, Filler said: Why do men seek relationships vs. casual sex? What does being in a relationship mean in general for men in today's world and age. What is the purpose of it? Stability. Deep connection. Going through life as part of a team vs. alone. Back scratches. On 3/15/2021 at 3:13 PM, Filler said: [] On 3/15/2021 at 3:13 PM, Filler said: Men seem to have no problem with having casual sex vs most women, so why would they seek being in a relationship? I mean, is it because women want to be monogamous and men have no choice but to become exclusive, or is there another reason to it? Asked and answered. On 3/15/2021 at 3:13 PM, Filler said: What do men and women do, other than being intimate, when they live together? What is the benefit of it? In many relationships / marriages, the partners are really good friends if not best friends. They like hanging out together. They share core values, humor, have similar life goals etc. In fact friendship is a much better foundation for a long term relationship than sex. Edited March 18, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 (edited) But sexual is nothing to do with a relationship or any deep, real, love , as in that it's not a relationship, not even on the same planet . lt is with somebody your in love with , but not otherwise. l'd find it very very hard to believe that any man would marry just for sexual , it makes zero sense.Without that love and the real relationship side of two people he'd be sick of her in a few yrs anyway. Why would he marry one women just for the sexual that will age and change when he could stay single and have a new one every 5mins , it makes no sense. But then reading around forums , a lot of guys do actually talk as though the sexual is the only only reason to be with her. l don't get any of that can't even believe a man would think like that and l'm male but ,guess l haven't met em all it is all over forums. A marriage or real relationship is so many things , things no way you can have with anyone else, not friends or family , and def' not a cat or dog. That's another thing l just can't for the life of me believe l see around forums , people say that stuff, why does he or she need a relationship or marriage, they've got family , or pets , or friends, all they need is the sexual , can't even fathom it, None of that is even close to any "real" relationship and life between a man and a woman.They mustn't of even had that to think that way, so they don't understand it, no idea but the mind just boggles . Edited March 18, 2021 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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