jseekinganswers Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 To give some context - my boyfriend 25(m) had been single all his life until we became official mid 2020. Before me, he was seeing another girl Zoe who he really liked but has told me he wasn't ready to turn it into a relationship. He says he was faithful to her, but the label of being exclusive put too much pressure on him despite not wanting to be with anyone else. She ended it because he wouldn't commit a few days before we met, which I believe he was pretty cut up about. We’d been dating for a few months, then in March he told a friend of his that he was hoping I would cheat so he had an excuse to break up with me. A month later he told me he loved me and another month later asked me to be his girlfriend. We’ve been together during lockdown, so my questions are, firstly why would he be willing to commit to me when a few months before he wasn't even though he really liked the girl. Secondly, why would he tell his friends he wanted me to do something worthy of him ending the relationship and then go on to tell me he loved me - surely your mind doesn't change that drastically in a month. And thirdly I worry that the relationship for him may be a stand in whilst we are in lockdown for convenience, and as soon as we are free again he will go back to his lothario ways. I’m a huge overthinker if you couldn't already tell :)
ShyViolet Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 (edited) For you to be worrying about all this stuff, he must be acting in a way that is making you question whether he is really into the relationship. Has he been giving you the feeling that he's not that into the relationship? 2 hours ago, jseekinganswers said: We’d been dating for a few months, then in March he told a friend of his that he was hoping I would cheat so he had an excuse to break up with me. In March he said that? It's March now. So, a YEAR ago he said this? I think you should focus more on how he has been acting in the relationship since then. How has the relationship been more recently? Edited March 1, 2021 by ShyViolet 2
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 We're not mind readers but my 1st thought was you were his only option in Covid. It's harder to play the field when the field is closed. That said he may have simply come to his senses & realized that failing to commit to you would have been stupid & he wanted to make sure you didn't slip away. Stop over thinking. Enjoy what is actually happening between you. Don't play the what if doom game. There's no reason to invite trouble. Whatever you do, keep your mouth shut. Do not try to talk about this with him. You will come across as insecure & unattractive. Just act like Of course he was willing to change for you because you are special enough to warrant that. Try to remember that many 25 year old guys are no more mature than 17 year old guys only they can drive, vote & drink. Stop analyzing. Just have fun.
Miss Spider Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, jseekinganswers said: To give some context - my boyfriend 25(m) had been single all his life until we became official mid 2020. Before me, he was seeing another girl Zoe who he really liked but has told me he wasn't ready to turn it into a relationship. He says he was faithful to her, but the label of being exclusive put too much pressure on him despite not wanting to be with anyone else. She ended it because he wouldn't commit a few days before we met, which I believe he was pretty cut up about. We’d been dating for a few months, then in March he told a friend of his that he was hoping I would cheat so he had an excuse to break up with me. A month later he told me he loved me and another month later asked me to be his girlfriend. We’ve been together during lockdown, so my questions are, firstly why would he be willing to commit to me when a few months before he wasn't even though he really liked the girl. Secondly, why would he tell his friends he wanted me to do something worthy of him ending the relationship and then go on to tell me he loved me - surely your mind doesn't change that drastically in a month. And thirdly I worry that the relationship for him may be a stand in whilst we are in lockdown for convenience, and as soon as we are free again he will go back to his lothario ways. I’m a huge overthinker if you couldn't already tell What strikes me when I read your post was the “single all his life until 25” He has gotten used to being single. Singlehood is a vibe. It’s the type of freedom and lack of responsibility and way of being that’s very different from being tied to another person or boyfriend/girlfriend. So a lot of times, after you try it out, you long to be single again. It doesn’t mean that the relationship was necessarily bad or anything or that you don’t care about the person. It’s just preferring the single life Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
divegrl Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 Wait... did all of this happen in March of last year? If so, I would not worry about it. How is the relationship going now? Have a beautiful day friend.
Recommended Posts