Cocoshea93 Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 (edited) So I ended up meeting this guy when I was out one night at the store about a month ago. We instantly locked eyes when I walked into the store and after I paid for my things he was standing by the door and he opened it for me. I told him “Thank you” and that initiated conversation between us and it instantly felt like I knew this guy all my life. Even though we were holding a conversation with our masks on, I knew he was going to be handsome. We exchanged numbers and he called me that night and we talked for hours and since then we have been calling and FaceTiming multiple times per day. He’s a very sweet guy, hardworking and is very respectful. Comes from a big family. He’s 36 and I’m 27 and we both have no kids. He’s been married twice and engaged once. I’ve never been engaged or married. He’s been divorced for 4 years but he told me that all 3 women proposed to him. He doesn’t drive so when I see him I have to go to him. Where he lives I can go into the apartment because he is subleasing. That’s what he told me. He’s also Jamaican and has his green card but he is going for his citizenship this year. He’s moving really fast and he says he’s loves me and he wants to do life with me. He gave me the whole “when I first saw you, I knew you were going to be mine” line but I’m the type of person who likes things to go with the flow and not be rushed because I’m very guarded. He’s talking about kids and he’s talking about us moving together. His current lease is coming to an end and he wants to get a two bedroom on his own but wants me to move in with him. It’s too soon?! Also, he asked me the other day about buying him a pair of air forces. Too soon!? He’s states that if I wanted something all I had to do was ask and he would get it. Do you all think he’s moving fast for a reason? ps. I refuse to propose to a man. Edited February 18, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs 1
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 red flags everywhere! run away as fast as you can. 8
DaddyDom Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 At first I admired the guy for his approach and knowing to take the initiative when you locked eyes. So many guys are afraid to approach women IRL anymore which is kind of sad. But the first red flag to me is that he called you the same night and you talked for hours. This can be a warning sign of clingy/needy behavior. So when I saw that he is already wanting you to move in, etc it doesn't surprise me. I would personally cut the guy out of your life because he has potential stalker written all over him.
Miss Spider Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 (edited) 20 minutes ago, smackie9 said: red flags everywhere! run away as fast as you can. This. Run. Fast. Edited February 17, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 I would say this guy is looking for a meal ticket...he uses women to feed him, sex and help support him with a roof over his head. I guarantee you if you continue to see him, he will start asking for money. he's a scam/con artist. The love bombing is where you need to start that jog going in the other direction. 1
winny Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Love bombing going on. Run in opposite direction. He seems sketchy and shady. 3
vickyp Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 14 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: This. Run. Fast. I agree. Run and don’t look back
World Peace Guy Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Normally, I would see nothing wrong with the moving fast thing, some people are that way. The real problem, is he's a 2 1/2 time looser. Being divorced twice, and a broke up engagement, is a very bad sign. I know a lot of people think that makes him experienced, knowing what he wants, and should make him able to make a marriage last longer, but statics show the opposite. 20 years ago, 50% of all marriages ended in divorce. Now days it is much worse. Now, 50% of first time marriages end in divorce. With second and third time marriages, that rate gets higher and higher. So it is unlikely you'll be able to make a lasting relationship with him, by the statistics. Then, there's the fact that being divorced twice, hasn't made him stop and think, and be more careful. So, in this case, I would say the moving fast thing is a really bad sign. I'd put your odds of a successful long lasting relationship with this guy around 5% or so. Not good at all! That he's a scammer, is also a very real possibility, but even if he's not, very low chance of happy relationship.
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 You need to end it. He's trying to get laid and using all the pick-up lines he can think of. Once sex happens, he'll use the same routine on someone else who falls for this stuff.
notbroken Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 He's not self sufficient and likely never has been in his whole life. If you want a smooth talking womanizer who uses women for support then proceed - otherwise block and run. 2
Crazelnut Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Oh he** no. Red flags flapping in your face! 1
Fletch Lives Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 You met for few minutes in the grocery store, and talked online a few times, and he wants you to move in and start popin' out babies?! That's way too fast. 2
peach302 Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 20 hours ago, Cocoshea93 said: So I ended up meeting this guy when I was out one night at the store about a month ago. We instantly locked eyes when I walked into the store and after I paid for my things he was standing by the door and he opened it for me. I told him “Thank you” and that initiated conversation between us and it instantly felt like I knew this guy all my life. Even though we were holding a conversation with our masks on, I knew he was going to be handsome. We exchanged numbers and he called me that night and we talked for hours and since then we have been calling and FaceTiming multiple times per day. He’s a very sweet guy, hardworking and is very respectful. Comes from a big family. He’s 36 and I’m 27 and we both have no kids. He’s been married twice and engaged once. I’ve never been engaged or married. He’s been divorced for 4 years but he told me that all 3 women proposed to him. He doesn’t drive so when I see him I have to go to him. Where he lives I can go into the apartment because he is subleasing. That’s what he told me. He’s also Jamaican and has his green card but he is going for his citizenship this year. He’s moving really fast and he says he’s loves me and he wants to do life with me. He gave me the whole “when I first saw you, I knew you were going to be mine” line but I’m the type of person who likes things to go with the flow and not be rushed because I’m very guarded. He’s talking about kids and he’s talking about us moving together. His current lease is coming to an end and he wants to get a two bedroom on his own but wants me to move in with him. It’s too soon?! Also, he asked me the other day about buying him a pair of air forces. Too soon!? He’s states that if I wanted something all I had to do was ask and he would get it. Do you all think he’s moving fast for a reason? ps. I refuse to propose to a man. He's going to use you if this continues. Wake up. This isn't real.
Alvi Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Sure this guy is a charmer. He is trying to charm you out of your money. Run like your hair is on fire. 1
FMW Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 21 hours ago, Cocoshea93 said: Also, he asked me the other day about buying him a pair of air forces. Too soon!? He’s states that if I wanted something all I had to do was ask and he would get it. He's asking you to buy him expensive shoes, but tells you he'll get you anything you want? I just wanted to highlight that, but pretty much everything you've written about him says he's looking for a sugar mama, and he knows how to charm and flatter you to get what he wants. 2
ShyViolet Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 You met one month ago, and he's trying to get you to move in with him. Do you even need to ask? This is absolutely a red flag. Run in the opposite direction. He said that all three women proposed to him? That sounds like a lie. From your post I get the impression that he has told you several lies. You even seem skeptical about some of the things he has told you. This guy sounds very sketchy. 2
Calmandfocused Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Holy Moly! This guy comes with more baggage and health warning signs than Heathrow airport! Op, please get your head out the clouds and read the writing on the wall!! It’s as clear as day: This man is a category A player. Loves his women doesn’t he? Divorced twice at age 36 and nearly married a third time? Do you not see something seriously wrong with this picture? He wants you to buy him things after a month of dating? Pffff Tell him you’ll buy him a ticket. A ticket out of your life 5
Calmandfocused Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 52 minutes ago, FMW said: He's asking you to buy him expensive shoes, but tells you he'll get you anything you want? I just wanted to highlight that, but pretty much everything you've written about him says he's looking for a sugar mama, and he knows how to charm and flatter you to get what he wants. Thank you FM, I hadn’t the faintest idea what Air Forces are. Shoes that are highly desirable and expensive I presume? Right Op, to add onto my above post I suggest that you do buy a pair of these shoes.... For you, not him! Anything to help you run faster away from this guy.
MsJayne Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 "He’s been divorced for 4 years but he told me that all 3 women proposed to him" and "Also, he asked me the other day about buying him a pair of air forces" Buy yourself a pair of Air Forces, and use them to run, run, run as fast as you can. You have encountered a creep. 1
Trail Blazer Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 4 hours ago, Calmandfocused said: Holy Moly! This guy comes with more baggage and health warning signs than Heathrow airport! Op, please get your head out the clouds and read the writing on the wall!! It’s as clear as day: This man is a category A player. Loves his women doesn’t he? Divorced twice at age 36 and nearly married a third time? Do you not see something seriously wrong with this picture? He wants you to buy him things after a month of dating? Pffff Tell him you’ll buy him a ticket. A ticket out of your life I don't know why, but reading this just reminded me of how depressing it's been not being able to travel overseas! As for the rest of your post and everyone else's; indeed, OP should run for the hills! It's scary just how obvious this guy is, yet OP is still unsure...
spiderowl Posted February 19, 2021 Posted February 19, 2021 (edited) Like others say, OP, I would be very wary of this man. He is love-bombing and it is very enjoyable; it is easy to fall for this but you are wise in taking things slow. Would you ask him to buy you something expensive? I doubt it. Most decent men and women would not ask someone they had recently met to buy them something, unless there was an emergency of some sort and I mean genuine emergency not contrived. So if you moved in together, how would he pay for his share of the apartment? You say he is hard working. How do you know? Do you know where he works, what he does? Do you know anything about him other than what he has told you himself? People can say anything. He could be telling you a load of lies if you do not have independent supporting evidence. It is surprising how convincing people can be. He has no transport, probably because he has no money. Have you every asked why he does not have a car? It would be interesting to see what he says. Not that everyone should have a car - some prefer less polluting ways to travel - but it is important to see what he says. You are already making the effort to visit him rather than the other way round. This guy has a history of several marriages and an engagement. Three important relationships that have ended. Why? It's possible it's all for genuine reasons but be cautious. He is saying that all the women proposed to him - really? Again, possible I suppose but he told you to give you the impression that he is so desirable that women chase him. If he has a green card, then presumably he is working legally and won't mind you knowing where he works. Has he introduced you to any friends/family? Anyone who can independently vouch for this guy? It is up to you now to decide how you want to proceed. You are a careful person and that is wise. Don't fall for all the romantic flannel, until you know him a lot better. Do not spend money on him just because he asks. See how he treats you. Do not move in with him, because once you do you are stuck with a contract and financial responsibilities. If he fails to meet his, you will be in a really difficult position, stuck with a guy who is not paying, may be having affairs behind your back, and who you can only get rid of if you take on his half of the apartment contract too. Only you can assess whether this guy really is who he says he is and if he is a stand-up guy who is going to take care of you. Might be interesting to google him too, if you haven't already. Edited February 19, 2021 by spiderowl
Miss Spider Posted February 19, 2021 Posted February 19, 2021 Did I read that you have not been to his apartment? Or to his home?My online friend had an experience like this so this is particularly close to my heart. She gave him nearly $10,000 over time and found out she was and a bunch of other stuff ... He was from overseas... living with his baby mom. So she can only come over at certain times. Everything he said was a lie and he was playing many different women. It all exploded on Christmas... 2
Calmandfocused Posted February 19, 2021 Posted February 19, 2021 (edited) Op, are you out of there yet? Edited February 19, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed personal message.
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