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Does he want his ex back? I'm flying out to be with him for VDAY tomorrow.

Cappygyal

By Cappygyal
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

and about him saying if you hadn’t slept with someone else we’d be together as indicator that he’s letting her know he’s moving on?

Not at all, he's simply expressing his hurt. This sentence doesn't say anything about him not loving her anymore. Him being worried, feeling protective of her, wanting to run to take care of her is a huge indication he's working on forgiving her. 

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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted
11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Not at all, he's simply expressing his hurt. This sentence doesn't say anything about him not loving her anymore. Him being worried, feeling protective of her, wanting to run to take care of her is a huge indication he's working on forgiving her. 

Oh 😕 

I heard him tell her “it’s not like that. I don’t hate her” a couple of times. Could that be positive? 

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

Oh 😕 

I heard him tell her “it’s not like that. I don’t hate her” a couple of times. Could that be positive? 

Who's the *her* in that sentence?

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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted
9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Who's the *her* in that sentence?

I think he was referring to me. 

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

I think he was referring to me. 

He was telling his ex that he doesn't hate you??? and you take that has he has feelings for you? 🤨

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
39 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

I heard him tell her “it’s not like that. I don’t hate her” a couple of times. Could that be positive? 

 

25 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

I think he was referring to me. 

So - the man that you are dating tells *anyone* that he “doesn’t hate you” - and you want to know if that’s positive? 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

I mean... he doesn’t hate her ...

 

that’s more than some guys I date could say about me 

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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted (edited)
29 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He was telling his ex that he doesn't hate you??? and you take that has he has feelings for you? 🤨

Yea, because if she asked if he had feelings for me and his response was, “I don’t hate her” he didn’t actually say no. If he didn’t have feelings for me he would’ve said no instead of being evasive with “I don’t hate her”. Why didn’t he say “no I don’t”?
 

Edited by Cappygyal
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

I have no clue why this means something in your eyes. Not having an issue is not something that counts as *positive actions*. It's like thinking your boyfriend is a good man because he's never been to jail. Your standards are below ground level. 

After reading your response @Cappygyal, I am going to have to agree with Gaeta.  All of what you wrote is you projecting, there is nothing tangible there to conclude he actually cares about you and views you as anything more than an FWB if that.

I'm sorry.

Edited by poppyfields
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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Cappygyal said:

and about him saying if you hadn’t slept with someone else we’d be together as indicator that he’s letting her know he’s moving on?

Wha? I am trying to understand your thought process but NO, it's not an indicator he's letting her know he's moving on, he's letting her know he's hurt and angry which in actuality indicates the opposite of what you're projecting it to mean.

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

Yea, because if she asked if he had feelings for me and his response was, “I don’t hate her” he didn’t actually say no. If he didn’t have feelings for me he would’ve said no instead of being evasive with “I don’t hate her”. Why didn’t he say “no I don’t”?
 

More projection.....

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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted
13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

More projection.....

😕 then why didn’t he flat out say “no I don’t” when asked if he had feelings? Plus, there’s a good chance he could be lying to her to spare her feelings, right?

poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

😕 then why didn’t he flat out say “no I don’t” when asked if he had feelings? Plus, there’s a good chance he could be lying to her to spare her feelings, right?

Bolded - denial and pride.

Non-bolded - you projecting again.

Cappy, if this were me before I learned what projection meant, I would start researching the meaning of projection.

This entire thread is about you projecting, nothing more.

Again I'm sorry.

 

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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted
16 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Bolded - denial and pride.

Non-bolded - you projecting again.

Cappy, if this were me before I learned what projection meant, I would start researching the meaning of projection.

This entire thread is about you projecting, nothing more.

Again I'm sorry.

 

No need to apologize. I appreciate your response. How is the bolded denial and pride? 

poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Cappygyal said:

No need to apologize. I appreciate your response. How is the bolded denial and pride? 

Oh apologies I read that wrong initially.  So you can disregard what I wrote.

I will have to go back and have another read but my first thought is it's anyone's guess what he meant, you would have to ask him...

 

 

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Cappygyal said:

Yea, because if she asked if he had feelings for me and his response was, “I don’t hate her” he didn’t actually say no.

Is that seriously where you have decided to set the bar? He doesn’t hate you - so, he must have feelings for you? Come on. 

If you try to stretch anymore you will put your back out! 

Edited by BaileyB
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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted
13 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

Is that seriously where you have decided to set the bar? He doesn’t hate you - so, he must have feelings for you? Come on. 

If you try to stretch anymore you will put your back out! 

lol no. It’s his evasive answer that makes me think that he does. Why didn’t he say “no I don’t have feelings for her”? He never said no, why is that? 

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
Just now, Cappygyal said:

 Why didn’t he say “no I don’t have feelings for her”? He never said no, why is that? 

He was cheated on, he still loves her but his brain is trying to reason with his heart.

So he's not telling her he likes you because he's afraid he would lose her, and he doesn't want to tell her he doesn't like you because that would make him an arse and expose his feelings for her.

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jspice Established Member

jspice

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Cappygyal said:

Yea, because if she asked if he had feelings for me and his response was, “I don’t hate her” he didn’t actually say no. If he didn’t have feelings for me he would’ve said no instead of being evasive with “I don’t hate her”. Why didn’t he say “no I don’t”?
 

If he had feelings for you he would say”yes, I have feelings for her”

He didn’t say that

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, jspice said:

If he had feelings for you he would say”yes, I have feelings for her”

He didn’t say that

Exactly.

I don’t dislike broccoli, but I would rather eat almost any other food.
 

Edited by BaileyB
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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He was cheated on, he still loves her but his brain is trying to reason with his heart.

So he's not telling her he likes you because he's afraid he would lose her, and he doesn't want to tell her he doesn't like you because that would make him an arse and expose his feelings for her.

So I was right, he does have feelings for me then.

 

he wasn’t cheated on they were broken up but he just got crushed by her sleeping with someone but i guess this part doesn’t really matter. 

Edited by Cappygyal
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Cappygyal Established Member

Cappygyal

Posted
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Posted
6 minutes ago, jspice said:

If he had feelings for you he would say”yes, I have feelings for her”

He didn’t say that

Not if he wanted to spare her feelings.

jspice Established Member

jspice

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

Exactly.

I don’t dislike broccoli, but I would rather eat almost any other food.
 

Hey if I had to choose between broccoli and a guy that says he doesn’t hate me, I’ll choose broccoli ;)

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, jspice said:

Hey if I had to choose between broccoli and a guy that says he doesn’t hate me, I’ll choose broccoli ;)

Me too, actually. 

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jspice Established Member

jspice

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 minute ago, Cappygyal said:

Not if he wanted to spare her feelings.

Cool. So why are you here if you know the answers?

Edited by jspice
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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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