lana-banana Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: The menu that you planned seems waaaaaayyyyyyy to complex. The dough / wrapper needed to make the spring rolls is quite delicate & not for a novice. Spring roll wrappers are sold in stores. Salads are easy. Tarts can be done 24 hours in advance. The most annoying part about beef burgundy and gratin potatoes is mise en place. OP can handle this if she plans accordingly, reads thoroughly and is patient. I agree the strangest part of this is the fabrication. It would be one thing to let him assume she was a great cook, but actively fabricating stories about friends who beg her to cook is weird. My suggestion would be to come clean as soon as possible, because if this proceeds then he'll eventually meet her friends (who will be very confused about her supposedly great cooking skills) and learn the truth. But it doesn't hurt to learn to cook while she's at it; that will help her, relationship or no. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 4, 2021 Author Share Posted February 4, 2021 54 minutes ago, lana-banana said: . My suggestion would be to come clean as soon as possible, because if this proceeds then he'll eventually meet her friends (who will be very confused about her supposedly great cooking skills) and learn the truth. I think I'll be fine with the cooking part; I've done it before so it's all good. I can take the tough love part of Loveshack advice as well as the kind part and I totally appreciate what you are saying. Not my smartest move. He's already met my friends and it never came up in convo so far; it would probably turn into a joke at my expense anyway but I see why I need to come clean asap myself. I really don't want him to think I have any intentions of deceiving him on any level. Thank you all, you did not disappoint. My friend was right; really good, honest advice from you guys. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Ok, You can fix this. Get the book, "A man, a can, and a plan". Also a OLD Betty Crocker cook book. Then COOK. You will find it is not that hard, and you may enjoy it. You may also see your eating costs go way down. (Note: if you are in a another county, (Not USA) I am sure there are standard cook books that you can start using.) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 Don't dig yourself deeper into that lie. My daughter is 33 and she cannot cook. When time came to cook for her new boyfriend for the first time and she was filled with anxiety I bought her a slow cooker. You cannot fail a recipe in a slow cooker, not even boeuf bourguignon. Her bf figured out pretty fast she only knew how to cook 2 dishes lol. Turns out he loves cooking and now that they live together he's in charge of the kitchen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatDude76 Posted February 4, 2021 Share Posted February 4, 2021 I think you might be worried too much about something he likely doesn't care about so much. I personally don't care how good of a cook my date/girlfriend is, seems relatively unimportant. The lying is a bit more of an issue, but this is really innocent and you just wanted to impress him a bit I'm sure. Just be honest and he very likely wont care ( my thoughts anyways ) 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 4, 2021 Author Share Posted February 4, 2021 51 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: I think you might be worried too much about something he likely doesn't care about so much. I personally don't care how good of a cook my date/girlfriend is, seems relatively unimportant. The lying is a bit more of an issue, but this is really innocent and you just wanted to impress him a bit I'm sure. Just be honest and he very likely wont care ( my thoughts anyways ) Thanks ThatDude76, that was a lovely post. Of course I did want to impress him, I always do. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 OP: don't worry about it. Also, get into sous vide cooking. Google it. Buy an Anova off of Amazon for $99 and you can make food like he's never had before and it's super simple. Seriously check it out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) There’s so many ways to learn to cook these days. Start learning! take a few cooking classes - or watch them online. Anyone can learn if they give it even a small amount of effort. how do you survive without ever cooking? It’s cheaper to cook at home... so many healthy choices to make... it feels rewarding too. you better stop with the lies - you may have ruined the chance at this relationship ship already by starting off with lying! Edited February 5, 2021 by S2B 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) I was expecting this to be something serious. So you two will eat out, he'll cook, or there will be a lot of TV dinners in your future! It's okay, you'll live! Now go enjoy your life! Edited February 5, 2021 by Fletch Lives 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 Update: I told him yesterday. I was really nervous after basically being called a pathological liar by the 'tough love' advisers on this very thread. All he said was 'knew it babe' and went back to his football match. Underwhelming to say the least. I'll still do the meal I had planned coz he wants it, and he even offered to help in the kitchen. Not saying lying pays off sometimes, but I think I got off pretty lightly on this one 😅 Thanks again, guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatDude76 Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 19 hours ago, Freedom Fries said: Thanks ThatDude76, that was a lovely post. Of course I did want to impress him, I always do. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. This is what I mean exactly! The way you feel about him is 1000 times more important than your cooking ability. I'm sure he feels the same way about you too; this is what is important. Glad it worked out for you, and it seems like he doesn't care at all about your cooking skills 😛 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 On 2/3/2021 at 6:34 PM, Freedom Fries said: Your advice makes sense and I really appreciate your input, of course honesty is the best policy, but I got to ask: why put carrots in a cake? I wonder if it's a cultural difference? English isn't my native language tho, so I may have misunderstood 🥴. I actually laughed out loud when I read this, Freedom Fries. I'm with you! I never understood the whole obsession with carrot cake (my daughters love it, by the way.) Carrots + cake = just no. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 1 hour ago, ThatDude76 said: This is what I mean exactly! The way you feel about him is 1000 times more important than your cooking ability. I'm sure he feels the same way about you too; this is what is important. Glad it worked out for you, and it seems like he doesn't care at all about your cooking skills 😛 You gave me good luck! Thanks a bunch 🙂 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 1 hour ago, vla1120 said: I actually laughed out loud when I read this, Freedom Fries. I'm with you! I never understood the whole obsession with carrot cake (my daughters love it, by the way.) Carrots + cake = just no. Right?! I mean I have nothing against those who loved it obviously. To each their own. But why?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 (edited) Why don't you take some cooking classes? I would find this amusing if I were in his place and you decided to break it to me. It would be flattering actually that you felt the need to embellish your own abilities to please me. I can't imagine any man would be very upset about hearing this. A bit bewildered maybe. (EDIT; I do see that you broke it to him, and I'm not surprised that he already knew. Women that cook well, they cook A LOT). Ultimately though he didn't decide to pursue you because you told him you can cook. Edited February 5, 2021 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 5, 2021 Author Share Posted February 5, 2021 34 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Why don't you take some cooking classes? My mum said she'll teach me everything I need to kmow. My man doesn't seem bothered, tho. He's a good guy like that. Never thought of making me feel bad ever 🥰. One in a million. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Freedom Fries said: My mum said she'll teach me everything I need to kmow. My man doesn't seem bothered, tho. He's a good guy like that. Never thought of making me feel bad ever 🥰. One in a million. Hip Hip Horary for mom! Glad you found a keeping in your guy. Hope the B-day dinner turns out well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 6, 2021 Share Posted February 6, 2021 10 hours ago, Freedom Fries said: My mum said she'll teach me everything I need to kmow. Don't cook for him. It's better than lying. The compulsive lying even to your friends and this guy and even the "menu", posted here can't be fixed with cooking lessons. Pathological or compulsive lying is a symptom of things you can address and get help for. Personality, I would rather have take out food than be with a compulsive liar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 6, 2021 Author Share Posted February 6, 2021 9 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Hip Hip Horary for mom! Glad you found a keeping in your guy. Hope the B-day dinner turns out well. Thank you so much! I think it will 😉. My mum is a great cook. She's already given me some tips. Looking forward to learning from her. Not for my bf, he's really not fussed, but it's a cool skill to have. And he is a keeper. I've realised trying to impress him by exaggerating my abilities was a bit of a waste of time, tho. He knows me too well 🤣. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted February 6, 2021 Share Posted February 6, 2021 On 2/3/2021 at 2:55 PM, Freedom Fries said: ...... Except I've been hiding something for a while, and I don't know how to come clean. I don't know how to cook that well. I feel bad as I kind of told him that I was a big deal in the cooking department and that my friends always beg me to cook stuff for them coz my dishes are so good, but the truth is my friends have never done this. Like, ever. You should feel bad. Why would you start a relationship with a lie??? It's one thing to say... "I'm a good cook"... and then he finds out you aren't. But when you embellish that lie by saying "my friends always beg me to cook"... That's the real problem. What I mean is... you not being able to cook isn't an issue... but you being able to build a lie on something that really doesn't matter is the problem. There's a difference between a "Little white lie" and building a story built on a lie. To be 100% honest here... if you came out and said you can't cook... I would reevaluate the relationship as truth and honesty is a big deal to me. Sorry to be blunt... but you need to really look inside, and ask yourself "Why did I find it necessary to build a story on something as trivial as cooking?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freedom Fries Posted February 6, 2021 Author Share Posted February 6, 2021 14 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: Sorry to be blunt... but you need to really look inside, and ask yourself "Why did I find it necessary to build a story on something as trivial as cooking?" Hey Blind Sided, I've already answered that question in the thread! It's ok, I get it, not everyone has the time to read all the posts but still want to share their views. My friend actually warned me of this practice by some of the advisers on here.😄 Lucky for me, he doesn't think the way you think🤪. He immediatly understood I wanted to impress him celebrating his bday for the 1st time together, he knows my character (I've never lied to him before), we have a very solid relationship and we deeply care for each another. He saw it for what it was. A silly, insecure moment. He's no pushover; he's very good at seeing the bigger picture, tho; no black and white thinking with him. As I said, one in a million.🥰 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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