ironpony Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 During sex, I have this thing where it's hard for me to get aroused sexually, unless the woman is of the more shall we say, dominatrix type. But that type is a lot harder to find. Right now I started seeing two women lately. But I want to just be exclusive with one soon to go to the next step, and be exclusive. One of them I really like in personality and feel we have a lot in common and a good connection. But she is not sexually dominating by any means, at least not that I have been made aware of yet. The other is much more so dominating, but feel we do not have as many common things in personality in comparison, but maybe I could date her and get to know her better and see. But she is also more clingy too, which I don't like as much, but it's not too bad. So I am not sure what choice to make because personality is really important, but sexual arousal is really important as well. I would like to pick one and go to the next step to see, rather than brush off both. What do you think is best out of curiosity? Thanks for any advice on it. I really appreciate it!
central Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 Yeah, why not both? You would have to discuss that option with each of them and ask if they would be okay with that. Since neither sounds ideal, you don't lose much if either or both say no. But if they both say yes? Then time will sort it all out for you. BTW, I'm not being facetious or sarcastic. I have done this, and had it work with two for the long term.
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 I can solve this...talk to the one you have a lot in common with if she would be into taking on the dominating sexual role. If she goes "ewwww no!" then she's out. The other one just have fun with, don't commit to because she's just going to be a pain in the butt with her possessiveness/jealousy. IMO you should be more straight forward with your sexual preferences if you want to find the right one. I'm sure there are fetish type dating sites you could explore. 2
Author ironpony Posted December 25, 2020 Author Posted December 25, 2020 Oh okay thanks. Well it's that the more dominating one, wants me to decide if I want to commit to her, otherwise she may loose interest if I don't pick. I have no problem making a choice to pick one and see, just not sure what choice to make.
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 Well what is more important to you? Sex or having things in common? 1
central Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 1 hour ago, ironpony said: Oh okay thanks. Well it's that the more dominating one, wants me to decide if I want to commit to her, otherwise she may loose interest if I don't pick. I have no problem making a choice to pick one and see, just not sure what choice to make. Then pick this one. She's interested, and you can see how it plays out. This probably is not a long term permanent relationship (unless it grows into one), so why not go with the one you know turns you on?
Ami1uwant Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 What do you want...sex? Or a relationship?
alphamale Posted December 25, 2020 Posted December 25, 2020 Dude one day you’ll wake up and sex will be the last thing on your mind 3 1
Interstellar Posted December 26, 2020 Posted December 26, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, alphamale said: Dude one day you’ll wake up and sex will be the last thing on your mind Exactly. Whoever doesn’t have any baggage or contact from exes, clinically sane with a giving personality, sweet, not structured, loyal, kind and laughs at my corny jokes is the one I’d choose. That means, continue dating both. Edited December 26, 2020 by Interstellar
Author ironpony Posted December 26, 2020 Author Posted December 26, 2020 (edited) Oh okay, well I don't mind dating both, but the one who is better in bed, wants me to make a more exclusive and committal decision now though. I might be able to talk her out of it or postponing it though, if that's best? One of the things that has made it more difficult is that because of covid, I have had to do alot of the dating over zoom, so that doesn't help get as much of a feel, compared to normal circumstances. I still hooked up with them but not much experience there so far to be able to tell, other than a first time impression from both. Edited December 26, 2020 by ironpony
Miss Spider Posted December 27, 2020 Posted December 27, 2020 On 12/26/2020 at 1:59 AM, ironpony said: Oh okay, well I don't mind dating both, but the one who is better in bed, wants me to make a more exclusive and committal decision now though. I might be able to talk her out of it or postponing it though, if that's best? One of the things that has made it more difficult is that because of covid, I have had to do alot of the dating over zoom, so that doesn't help get as much of a feel, compared to normal circumstances. I still hooked up with them but not much experience there so far to be able to tell, other than a first time impression from both. Postpone it if you must...but there will probably come a time where you will be forced to make a decision. Do not become exclusive would either of these people though, that will not end well for you when you inevitably have to break up with them. When you have a lack of emotional/mental compatibility and the other a lack of sexual compatibility. Keep looking. 1
Author ironpony Posted December 29, 2020 Author Posted December 29, 2020 (edited) Okay, thanks for the advice! I will respond back with this situation, but first I feel I have to address a side note with the one woman, the dominatrix one. She calles me Daddy in the bedroom and this takes me out of it. A couple of women have done this before in the past, but do some women have a fantasy where they want to screw their Dad, or what's with that? Edited December 29, 2020 by ironpony
Author ironpony Posted January 18, 2021 Author Posted January 18, 2021 (edited) So I feel I should establish with the women, whether or not we are in a relationship or not, but should I ask them then? Edited January 18, 2021 by ironpony
Lorenza Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 Guys who are suggesting to continue to date both - how is it fair, that the OP gets to drag this out just to get all the benefits from both women, when one of the women clearly says she wants to be exclusive? You'll be wasting her time just to fullfill your sexual needs, knowing very well, that she isn't the optimal partner for you. Dating two people at once is messy and not for everyone. It needs willing participans and very clear communication. Sounds like the dom woman won't be down for it at all. 2
Author ironpony Posted January 18, 2021 Author Posted January 18, 2021 well I do like the non-dominatrix woman a lot better now, as of recently, but I want to find out if we are exclusive or not, without being pushy about it. 1
Miss Spider Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 On 12/29/2020 at 4:00 PM, ironpony said: Okay, thanks for the advice! I will respond back with this situation, but first I feel I have to address a side note with the one woman, the dominatrix one. She calles me Daddy in the bedroom and this takes me out of it. A couple of women have done this before in the past, but do some women have a fantasy where they want to screw their Dad, or what's with that? well that’s interesting. I always thought the ‘daddy’ thing was more about submissiveness than about incest ... (like a male authority figure),,, so I would think a dominatrix would be calling you her pet or little b *tch instead of that
Fletch Lives Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 Choosing between two women - that sounds like a good problem to have. I'm sure things will work out on their own.
Author ironpony Posted January 18, 2021 Author Posted January 18, 2021 Oh well it's actually more than two, but there are two that I am concentrating on more so. There are other women who are asking me out and wanting to hook up more than usual though. I don't mean to make it sound like I am bragging, but if it's happening to me, with quite a bit more than usual, than I assume it's happening to other guys as well. I am wondering, is it because of covid, or is it related to that likely?
Interstellar Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 10 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: well that’s interesting. I always thought the ‘daddy’ thing was more about submissiveness than about incest ... (like a male authority figure),,, so I would think a dominatrix would be calling you her pet or little b *tch instead of that also more of a respect thing since a dad is an authority figure. she respects you, female submissiveness and all that 1
Recommended Posts