Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 1 hour ago, lovesflame said: I just love being a father and want to do what’s best for the child . You're not a father! You'll have to start dating and have a relationship first. Think forward and forget about this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesflame Posted April 8, 2021 Author Share Posted April 8, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: You're not a father! You'll have to start dating and have a relationship first. Think forward and forget about this woman. I already have a ten year old so that’s what I mean ... lol Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 1 minute ago, lovesflame said: I already have a ten year old so that’s what I mean ... lol Excellent. How is your coparenting relationship with the mother? Focus on your own child, not on this exgf's mysterious pregnancy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesflame Posted April 8, 2021 Author Share Posted April 8, 2021 8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Excellent. How is your coparenting relationship with the mother? Focus on your own child, not on this exgf's mysterious pregnancy. I raised her mostly for years and now we have joint custody . but if I’m genetically the father I would want to know. Because there’s a strong possibility . is it better I don’t think of it? such a wild story . Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 4 hours ago, lovesflame said: I know for a fact she was pregnant before she left town and he lives in the other town far away. Remember those late-night Zoom meetings she was having in parking lots? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesflame Posted April 8, 2021 Author Share Posted April 8, 2021 (edited) 52 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Remember those late-night Zoom meetings she was having in parking lots? Yeah, exactly. knew something was going on, it could be talks with him or if it was sexual rendezvous it doesn't solve my problem if I am the father or not because we had tons of sex that week too think about it though- why would a guy agree to be with her if he isn't even sure if he's the father I wonder what's best for the child going forward I love fatherhood. Edited April 8, 2021 by lovesflame clarity Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 4 minutes ago, lovesflame said: think about it though- why would a guy agree to be with her if he isn't even sure if he's the father I wonder what's best for the child going forward I love fatherhood. I really did not deserve this treatment. He might not care if he's biologically the father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesflame Posted April 8, 2021 Author Share Posted April 8, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: He might not care if he's biologically the father. perhaps. But my point is just do I want to find out if I am the father biologically or not because I don't even care about the story anymore. biggest thing I learned is that I don't need proof next time like if I feel something is shady I can trust myself. I am just glad I don't miss and want her back anymore. so what I'm thinking about now is get a court case started next fall or forget about it? Edited April 8, 2021 by lovesflame clarity Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, lovesflame said: so what I'm thinking about now is get a court case started next fall or forget about it? I think you need to consult an attorney in your area first, to find out what sort of rights you actually have here, and how you might go about obtaining a court order for a paternity test. Don't get too far ahead of yourself with any plans before you get informed with the facts. You say you know for a fact that she was pregnant before she left town. How do you know this? Edited April 9, 2021 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 11 hours ago, lovesflame said: so what I'm thinking about now is get a court case started next fall or forget about it? It seems like you are getting ahead of yourself. Is this a way to avoid some other stuff in your life? Or deal with the breakup? It seems like you'll imagine any scenario just to keep her on your mind, no? What "court case"? You have no standing and no case. You can't start harassing her with that stuff because you're hurt that she left. She left for a good reason and you ready know that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesflame Posted April 9, 2021 Author Share Posted April 9, 2021 8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: You say you know for a fact that she was pregnant before she left town. How do you know this? Yes I will ask an attorney where she lives if I decide it’s a good decision. I know because I saw her say it to a friend in her own words before she left when I logged into her Facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 9, 2021 Share Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, lovesflame said: I know because I saw her say it to a friend in her own words before she left when I logged into her Facebook. How do you think a judge is going to view this? (I am assuming you mean you hacked into her account with her permission, and read her private messages?) You really need to start thinking things through more, and not be so impulsive and driven by emotions. You're making choices that could backfire here, and you don't even appear to realize it. Edited April 9, 2021 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesflame Posted December 20, 2021 Author Share Posted December 20, 2021 It has been a while about one year, and simply want to thank the people of this board. I was wrong for so long, and so many tried to provide the tough love I needed to hear. It is embarassing to read, but I wasn't harshly judged here. Since then, my whole entire life is better- I have lived in new ways, done new things, and took care of ME. I was so lost on a woman who truly was not for me and I was blind to see. I have had a couple short relationships since and there was no crazy obsessions, no rushing in, no longing and yearning and chasing after the breaup- just fun memories and good times. Each person treated me better and gave me more, and I realized I was truly settling for less. I have to say, loving yourself is much greater than I possibly imagined it would be- it started for me, with self-respect. I just want to express my gratitude here, thank you all. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted December 20, 2021 Share Posted December 20, 2021 1 hour ago, lovesflame said: It has been a while about one year, and simply want to thank the people of this board. I was wrong for so long, and so many tried to provide the tough love I needed to hear. It is embarassing to read, but I wasn't harshly judged here. Since then, my whole entire life is better- I have lived in new ways, done new things, and took care of ME. I was so lost on a woman who truly was not for me and I was blind to see. I have had a couple short relationships since and there was no crazy obsessions, no rushing in, no longing and yearning and chasing after the breaup- just fun memories and good times. Each person treated me better and gave me more, and I realized I was truly settling for less. I have to say, loving yourself is much greater than I possibly imagined it would be- it started for me, with self-respect. I just want to express my gratitude here, thank you all. Bravo. Yes, love yourself. Expect more. Value peace of mind above everything else. Link to post Share on other sites
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