princessaurora Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 (edited) Been there, done that, bought a t shirt. Once a male friend develops feelings and discloses that, things are never the same. It sucks really, because I have had to end some really great friendships with guys over it, but once they profess their undying love, things are never the same. It's like before maybe I could have been oblivious to the fact they were eye banging me across the table, but now I can't unsee it. They're only sticking around for one reason, hoping to change your mind, so really detrimental to their mental health and your conscience to let it go on. I remember one of the last close male friends I made before I was married was superattractive, so I figured he could handle hanging out with me without getting all googly eyed. Nope, one night we're having drinks at an upscale bar and out of nowhere he tells me I'm so beautiful and he's absolutely head over heels in love with me. I was like *seriously, dude?"! It kind of made me mad because I really enjoyed his company, but after that I knew I had to stop hanging with him or he would only get hurt. Truth is, had I not been in love with someone else, I probably would have been into him, which made the decision to end the friendship clear as day. It's really ashamed this happened with almost every single one of my guy friends because I don't like the catiness of women and have always gotten along better with males. But yeah, it never works out once that line is crossed. You're doing the right thing cutting him off, @Shortskirtslonglashes. I wouldn't be surprised if he started dating your book club friend in an attempt to make you jealous and hope you become interested. If so, I feel sorry for her as she'll probably just end up getting used. Edited February 13, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 Ugh, sorry to see this has happened to you. But I'm glad you were upfront and honest with him. Honestly always wins! I know if it were me I would have to stay away from the book club going forward. Not to avoid the awkwardness, but to avoid these dramatic people. I can't believe she sent you that email. Can't you guys just talk about the book? Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted February 18, 2021 Author Share Posted February 18, 2021 (edited) Thank you all so much. That is very informative to me. Anyway, I wanted to conclude this by saying that it ended well, I think. (Wow, first time my interactions with a man that have gone romantically actually end a way I would consider ‘well’... ha ha anyway. ) I think maybe all it took is him getting a girlfriend because I feel like we could be all be friends now. I went back to the book club last night and I talked to him and asked him to add me to his other private philosophy group that he just opened up and he emailed me back and gave me the info and such . So yes I am super excited about that horizon and the fact that we can all just laugh and joke and be friends down and there is no weirdness or awkwardness there was before. Maybe it is just wishful thinking but I felt like the last few meets before he was kind of mean mugging and not really chatty but this time he seemed a lot more upbeat. I don’t know I’m just pleased because I was able to navigate the situation in a way that I kept good with both of these people and now have two newish ( albeit distant)friends .. Edited February 18, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts