Extremely jealous and insecure?

[d0nnivain]

On 11/12/2020 at 2:14 AM, I'veseenbetterlol said:

He calls me beautiful all the time, but I struggle to believe him.  He also says I'm the best he has ever dated in all respects.

Hearing an SO talk about an EX can undermine anybody's confidence.  That said you need to do the work to boost your own self esteem.  You should not struggle to believe your BF when he says you are beautiful & that you are the best he ever dated.  Best all around trumps some other superlative in 1 category.   Try to remember he's with you not her.  By virtue of the fact that they broke up, she has some flaw that you don't.  

[Shining One]

2 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

 And they make you believe you’re hottest chick they’ve ever been with even if it isn’t true

But women tell me all the time to never lie to them. I'm so confused.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

I posted on this awhile ago, but I want to put more details.  My husband is a wonderful person who has always treated me well.  This is my major insecurity causing me to feel down.  Several years ago (before we were married), one of his ex's came up.  We were with his friend and they were discussing hot celebrities.  His friend mentioned that one celebrity reminded him of my then bf's 1st ex,  how attractive she was.  My bf agreed with him and I was a little shocked and hurt.  Not for his friend calling her hot, but for my bf not shutting down the conversation then and there.  Or him saying well that doesn't matter cause gf is the hottest, dumb and petty I know, but still.  She came up again when he was talking about his brother being attracted to her, saying what guy wouldn't want to date her. 

I'm mad at myself for allowing something like this to keep bothering me.  Definitely doesn't help that he said early on in dating he had a specific type which isn't me at all.  Also at some point he told me he learned looks aren't everything, but he got lucky with me.  Still bugs me though as he hasn't dated an average looking woman with a great personality.  He did date an average woman, but she had her own set of mental issues.  Due to this many times when he does call me pretty, sexy etc, I have a hard time believing him.  I'm so paranoid that he settled for me.  Thoughts?  Btw he regrets not stopping that conversation and didn't think it could annoy me that much.

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, I'veseenbetterlol said:

.Just wanted some opinions. My ex used to ogle other women and tell me about how hot they were. This really hurt me. How do feel about a partner (man or woman) ogling other people while in a relationship? Looking is fine, but IMHO you don't need to tell your partner about how hot this or that person was/is/

As you know, only a physician and therapist can help you with this type of obsession. Google "Othello Syndrome".

Pathological jealousy is often a symptom of underlying treatable mental health issues.

It's a recurring theme pervasive in your thinking regardless of with who or what the context of the jealousy is.