hokage240sx Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 Ive been dating a girl for about 3 months. i ussually see her once a week. Over the phone a few days ago, she agreed to be in a exclusive relationship with me. She is aware that I would like her to my girlfriend. She said that she is willing to be my girlfriend. But wants to take a little more time to work towards that goal. She said that she wants to make sure that I want to be with her. She said that she wants to make sure that if we make it official that we are looking for a long term commitment. she also mentioned that she has been in toxic relationships before and doesn't want the same to occur.---my plan is to wait till the end of december to try to make it official-- is that a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 I don't think you can put an artificial deadline on it, unless that deadline is just for you - that she either says yes or you break up with her. Her thought process is her own, you can't control it. Use the time to give her what she says she needs - reason to believe that you are serious about a future with her. Actions, like incorporating her into your world your friends, your family. Letting her have time to see how you deal with disagreements. Trying to rush things (in her view) may make her question your motives, the likelihood of things lasting. As long as things are progressing, relax and enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hokage240sx Posted November 20, 2020 Author Share Posted November 20, 2020 6 minutes ago, FMW said: I don't think you can put an artificial deadline on it, unless that deadline is just for you - that she either says yes or you break up with her. Her thought process is her own, you can't control it. Use the time to give her what she says she needs - reason to believe that you are serious about a future with her. Actions, like incorporating her into your world your friends, your family. Letting her have time to see how you deal with disagreements. Trying to rush things (in her view) may make her question your motives, the likelihood of things lasting. As long as things are progressing, relax and enjoy. it was just a time that I had set up in my mind, that I think I should make a solid decision by. I know I can't force her into anything. im happy with our current arrangement it feels like some level of commitment too me. I invited her to thanks giving diner with my family, so hopefully she comes. I will try to invite her to some events with my friends her and there. I believe they are progressing I will try to relax and enjoy :). im just an anxious person Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 21, 2020 Share Posted November 21, 2020 The situations like this very little good comes from labels. Just enjoy dating her and being a great guy. If it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 21, 2020 Share Posted November 21, 2020 As long as you are dating, talking enjoying each other, you can skip the chronic and cyclical Define The Relationship talks. Just stop talking about it. You're exclusive, have sex, see each other regularly so why badger her for this or that label? Perhaps it's time to cut to the chase about what you want and expect. Reflect on things and why you think badgering her about labels is important. Are you afraid she is seeing others? Are you afraid she'll bolt? Are you doing this to get more sex more often and hope the BF/GF titles will help? Decide why you want these talks over and over to no avail. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hokage240sx Posted November 21, 2020 Author Share Posted November 21, 2020 30 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: As long as you are dating, talking enjoying each other, you can skip the chronic and cyclical Define The Relationship talks. Just stop talking about it. You're exclusive, have sex, see each other regularly so why badger her for this or that label? Perhaps it's time to cut to the chase about what you want and expect. Reflect on things and why you think badgering her about labels is important. Are you afraid she is seeing others? Are you afraid she'll bolt? Are you doing this to get more sex more often and hope the BF/GF titles will help? Decide why you want these talks over and over to no avail. I think I’m scared she will leave, I just don’t want to admit it. I also think I want a reason to make sure I commit to just one woman. In my character I usually talk to multiple I’m trying to settle down. I have a lot of relationship anxiety. For example I feel like I messed up the relationship up already because I called her once at 5pm she didn’t answer and then I called at once 10pm when coming back from a friends and she never called back. I sent her a text after that call that said “Haha my bad if your busy, just felt like talking to you :). Gn! ”. I called her once per day. Maybe it was too much for her? But that’s what felt natural to me. I may be over analyzing things. I am noticing I have some bad behaviors, or is this just early relationship anxiety? I don’t know if I should contact tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hokage240sx Posted November 21, 2020 Author Share Posted November 21, 2020 9 hours ago, Mrin said: The situations like this very little good comes from labels. Just enjoy dating her and being a great guy. If it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't. Thanks, yea it may not ,I’m having my doubts currently. I think I can’t control myself from coming too strong lol. I really like her, and I express my feelings openly, maybe that’s overbearing. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Give her room to breathe. Don't suffocate. Link to post Share on other sites
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