Sexism agianst men. does it exist?

[pepperbird]

5 hours ago, Prudence V said:

I’m not sure what the relevance of this is to what I asked, and the original point. It wasn’t a situation of domestic abuse. He was gang raped. There are no shelters for survivors of gang rape any gender that I know of, in any country I’ve lived in. 
 

On the subject of shelters for domestic violence survivors though - there is only one in my home city, which has a population of millions. That shelter is run by an NGO, funded by donations from the public. Since the overwhelming majority of cases of domestic violence are committed on women and children, the shelter serves them. It has room for about 20 women and children in total. The state recognises GBV to be a serious problem, but there are too many other funding priorities - so no new services have been provided, for any gender. But if there were, it would be for the are of greatest need, which is currently women and children. 

again, we won't agree on this. I base my opinions on my own experiences. I assume you;re doing the same.

[Shining One]

On 7/29/2020 at 1:22 AM, gaius said:

A man is much better served by being taught to take the hit, get up, dust himself off and move on. And that's unfortunately being lost in this weird modern crusade to pretend all these different things are exactly the same.

I wonder why the crusade didn't try to get women to take the hit, get up, dust themselves off, and move on. I would think they would be better served by this approach as well.

[OatsAndHall]

On 7/31/2020 at 4:04 AM, schlumpy said:

You put your finger right on it because that's where the failure is in upper administration and your only realistic response is to protect yourself by being less effective within the work place.

Honestly, these situations don't arise because the administration are sexist within the education field; it's due to the fact that society views male teachers differently than females. The bosses have to cover themselves because of this; a male teacher is basically guilty as soon as a female student lobs a complaint at them. On the opposite side of the coin, a male STUDENT is guilty of SOMETHING once he makes an accusation against a female teacher.

This thought process also impedes me in other ways. In my last school, I would walk laps around the building for exercise in the winter. There was a 14 year old female student that would find ways into the building at night (people were always leaving doors unlocked). She had a terrible home life and came into the school at night to get away from it. She was a difficult student and I had disciplined her on many occasions in my class. I used to let her shoot hoops while I walked laps around the school because I knew she needed to get away; I'd pop my head into the gym to make sure she was alright and go on my way.

Unfortunately, I had to start kicking her out because she started finding me in the hallways because she wanted someone to chat with. I couldn't put myself in the situation of being alone with a female student, especially at night when the building was closed. I felt terrible because this kiddo was on her own and taking care of herself from the minute she got out of school until she went to bed. She was raising herself, struggled to make friends and was looking for someone to keep her company. I never would have thought twice about that with a male student but no way was it happening with a girl..

 

[jspice]

On 8/4/2020 at 3:05 AM, OatsAndHall said:

Honestly, these situations don't arise because the administration are sexist within the education field; it's due to the fact that society views male teachers differently than females. The bosses have to cover themselves because of this; a male teacher is basically guilty as soon as a female student lobs a complaint at them. On the opposite side of the coin, a male STUDENT is guilty of SOMETHING once he makes an accusation against a female teacher.

This thought process also impedes me in other ways. In my last school, I would walk laps around the building for exercise in the winter. There was a 14 year old female student that would find ways into the building at night (people were always leaving doors unlocked). She had a terrible home life and came into the school at night to get away from it. She was a difficult student and I had disciplined her on many occasions in my class. I used to let her shoot hoops while I walked laps around the school because I knew she needed to get away; I'd pop my head into the gym to make sure she was alright and go on my way.

Unfortunately, I had to start kicking her out because she started finding me in the hallways because she wanted someone to chat with. I couldn't put myself in the situation of being alone with a female student, especially at night when the building was closed. I felt terrible because this kiddo was on her own and taking care of herself from the minute she got out of school until she went to bed. She was raising herself, struggled to make friends and was looking for someone to keep her company. I never would have thought twice about that with a male student but no way was it happening with a girl..

 

That’s really unfortunate for her. You were trying to do something good for her and unfortunately things can end up being misconstrued. 
 

My brother taught elementary school kids and he’s careful like you are because even the appearance of anything inappropriate could have far-reaching consequences. 
 

As a female professor I don’t worry about my door being closed when students are with me but my male colleagues of course always think about that  

Of course there are many more things that men can do that I have to think twice about but better safe than sorry  

 

[Shining One]

I had previously mentioned that I was once falsely accused of non-sexual harassment in the workplace by a female coworker. Admittedly, I was interested in her and we had hung out together many times. I had grown tired of her hot and cold games and I told her I was done trying with her. After a week of me ignoring her attempts to get together, she complained to HR. She said I was pursuing her despite her making it clear she wasn't interested. While it was not a serious enough offense to cost me my job, it was going to be put on record.

Fortunately for me, the woman in question screwed up when making her claim. She stated in her complaint that I had asked her out to lunch every day the previous week. She also happened to be on litigation hold due to her role in the company. This meant that all of her office communications were logged. I asked my boss to pull the records from Microsoft. The logs clearly showed that she had asked me to lunch every day of the week in question, directly contradicting her claim.

In the end, nothing happened to her. Nothing was put on record for her. The HR Director made it very clear to me that I was lucky to have evidence that contradicted the claim. The woman didn't need evidence to make the claim. The evidence is what saved me from having a mark on my record. So much for innocent until proven guilty.

[Prudence V]

18 hours ago, jspice said:

As a female professor I don’t worry about my door being closed when students are with me but my male colleagues of course always think about that  

Interesting. Our walls are all glass, so we close our doors when consulting with students, as our students are often discussing personal issues and we’re wanting to respect their privacy - but at the previous university, I would have thought twice about closing my door if I had a male student in my office, alone. Usually if I met alone with a male student, I’d choose to do it somewhere public - visible, but apart enough not to be overheard. That was common practice, unless you were somewhere with cctv - too many women have been attacked on campuses, and in a “he said, she said” scenario, with rape convictions at an all-time low, it just wasn’t a chance worth taking. 

[basil67]

18 hours ago, Shining One said:

In the end, nothing happened to her. Nothing was put on record for her. The HR Director made it very clear to me that I was lucky to have evidence that contradicted the claim. The woman didn't need evidence to make the claim. The evidence is what saved me from having a mark on my record. So much for innocent until proven guilty.

She should have been sacked - or at the very least, officially cautioned.

[jspice]

1 hour ago, Prudence V said:

Interesting. Our walls are all glass, so we close our doors when consulting with students, as our students are often discussing personal issues and we’re wanting to respect their privacy - but at the previous university, I would have thought twice about closing my door if I had a male student in my office, alone. Usually if I met alone with a male student, I’d choose to do it somewhere public - visible, but apart enough not to be overheard. That was common practice, unless you were somewhere with cctv - too many women have been attacked on campuses, and in a “he said, she said” scenario, with rape convictions at an all-time low, it just wasn’t a chance worth taking. 

I understand what you’re saying. It I had worked in a different country or environment I might have done things differently but where I worked the concerns weren’t the same.