I don't eat real food: Getting back into the mindset and breaking the habit of junkfood patterns

[Lorenza]

Hey everyone, some advice would be appreciated. 

So for starters, I'm a full-blown adult, soon to turn 31 and I have gradually fallen into a very unhealthy eating pattern. I basically do not cook and the only real food I ever eat is takeouts from some healthier places or the food my mom cooks when I come over for a visit. I comfort eat most of the time - ready made supermarket meals, not frozen, but premade and probably fried in crappy oils, pizza, chips basically every night, loads of ice cream and all kinds of stuff that doesn't take any effort. When I try to force myself to cook it lasts max a week and then I fall back into my junkfood patterns. 

The thing is I do know how to cook and I used to do that a lot in the past. I used to cook in all of my past relationships and I even remember enjoying cooking for myself as a single lady. But at this point of my life I hate it with passion. I'm not proud of the food I make, it doesn't taste good for me, even though it does for others - it feels like a waste of time. I don't like the process, it's tedious and boring. My night feels wasted if I don't have anything tasty to eat. Too bad my weight doesn't really catch up with my eating habits so I'm barely even punished for them, unless I get a breakout every here and there after too much fried stuff. Maybe I'd try more if I gained weight but I do only a tiny bit and lose in just as fast so there's no motivation in that part. Also, I don't really care if I'm chubnier either. But it does affect my energy levels and I think I have much more inflammation in the body. 

I don't know how to get back to that past mind set. I remember making Tom Kha Gai entirely from scratch, like I used to reaaallyy cook. Am I lonelier than I care to admit? I've been single for almost 4 years and right now I swear by staying single. It has been the calmest, most sane, happiest years in a while, but.. why am I comfort eating all the time? People say just force yourself, just do it, make a shopping list and get ingredients you have to cook with. But I just wants to eat chips and continue to not care. Any advice? 

[d0nnivain]

It's not that much fun to cook for one.  Take out can be OK as long as you choose wisely. 

Perhaps keep the junk out of your house & stick to healthier quick alternatives.   Instead of eating a cookie or cake, eat some fruit. Stock up on Lean Cuisines or similar healthy microwave meals.   Have the fast food chicken rather then the beef.  Watch the sauces & condiments.  

You do need to address the underlying psychological issues that are making you not care

 

[Emilie Jolie]

This is what worked for me in the past - in one word : discipline.

- Make a list of all the dishes that you really enjoy making and eating (salads / soups for lunch, cooked meals for dinner is my pattern; you can have your own thing).

-Draw from that list to make a weekly menu that you can change week in week out, and shop appropriately. Make sure that you have a good balance of easy prep meals that you can throw together when you don't feel like cooking (prawns stir fry with soy sauce for me - delish and ready in 15ms, swap prawns with chicken if you prefer) and more elaborate stuff that you can cook in batches and freeze for another day.

-Always have nice, healthy food on hand in the cupboard, fridge or the freezer (canned tuna, sweetcorn, canned soup,...).

-Pasta is an extra 10ms tops to make from scratch compared to ready meals so not that time-consuming!

- Make cooking something fun: I generally play music, danse around, am on speaker-phone to someone when I cook on my own.

- Try to have all your meals at set times.

I'm not a cordon bleu chef but have upped my game in the last couple of years (not difficult) because I discovered I actually find cooking to be really therapeutic, even when I cook just for myself. Sounds like you've lost the spark for it yourself - maybe ease yourself back into it by inviting your mother over for a homecooked 3 course meal? 

[Lorenza]

I know I will last maybe a week with all this. It's not just a question of discipline I think, though I lack that too, lol. I could have all those healthy meals ready or a weekly menu but why? What's the point if you're gonna eat alone. 

When I was 15 my parents went abroad for work and I lived alone on weekdays with some supervision from my grandma. My mom tought me how to cook before leaving. But I never had, not even once did I cook because I thought it was pointless. So from very early on I didn't care about what I was eating if I was eating alone. The crappier the better. And now more than ever I don't care. 

I want to start to care! I guess I'd like someone to chime in with psychological aspects of cooking and eating... is junkfood my evening company, a substitute? 

[Fresh_Start]

Eventually, these unhealthy eating habits will take their toll on your physical and mental health.  They're already taking a steady toll on your finances.   

The foods you're eating are loaded with sodium and cholesterol.  High sodium levels in your body have a wide range of negative health consequences that increase your risk of everything from high blood pressure, to depression, to kidney disease.  Excess sodium also causes fluid retention and bloating, which can have a dramatic effect on your physical appearance.  Eating foods that are high in cholesterol increase your risk of developing heart disease, strokes, and can also have a negative effect on your mood (among other things).  

Some of what you're ordering, snacking on, and popping in the microwave can also be loaded with the bad fats (trans and saturated) or sugars, both of which have negative health consequences with sugars increasing your risk of obesity and diabetes in addition to heart disease.  Diets that are too high in all of these things can leave your body with serious deficiencies hormonally and in terms of essential vitamins and nutrients.  Listing all of the potential negative risks, side effects, and health consequences would make this a tedious read so my advice to you if you're looking for some additional motivation to put an end to these unhealthy eating habits is to read up on them and educate yourself as to what it is you're putting in your body.  Right now you're young and it sounds like you have a high metabolism so that you can get away with this somewhat, but neither one of those is permanent and these unhealthy habits will catch up to you.  

Lastly, it's a lot more expensive to eat out, order delivery or carry out, and buy pre-packaged or prepared meals so the money you'd be saving by cooking your own meals could also serve as motivation. 

If you want to look your best, feel your best, live longer, significantly reduce your risk of developing a host of major and even debilitating health conditions as well as save money then you'll want to start changing these bad eating habits.       

Edited July 6, 2020 by Fresh_Start

[Emilie Jolie]

 

55 minutes ago, Lorenza said:

I want to start to care! I guess I'd like someone to chime in with psychological aspects of cooking and eating... is junkfood my evening company, a substitute? 

Fair enough.

Looks like you're pretty self-aware already . 

I guess it's called comfort food for a reason. It's kind of like a type of self-medication that you can become addicted to, like alcohol or drugs presumably, and I assume it triggers the same reward system.

It's just much easier and cheaper to access than drugs or alcohol.

Probably safer to address this with a dietician or a therapist though, if you really want to unlock the psychological reasons why you don't see the point in looking after yourself 

 

[Foxhall]

maybe take time to prepare your own meals from scratch, you could end up enjoying it even,

also how about going vegan for a week or two, try a health kick,

Veganomicon is a good book, nice healthy recipes.

 

[Happy Lemming]

Do you own a slow cooker / crock pot.   You can make some healthy meals in those and eat off of them for a couple of days.

I'll often make a big pot of soup in my large crock pot, put it in single serve glad ware containers, put a couple in the fridge and a few in the freezer.

Lentils are your friend, as well.  Good, healthy and easy to fix.

Do you like brown rice??  Invest in a rice cooker.

[Lorenza]

5 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Do you own a slow cooker / crock pot.   You can make some healthy meals in those and eat off of them for a couple of days.

I'll often make a big pot of soup in my large crock pot, put it in single serve glad ware containers, put a couple in the fridge and a few in the freezer.

Lentils are your friend, as well.  Good, healthy and easy to fix.

Do you like brown rice??  Invest in a rice cooker.

I do actually own a crock pot, thanks for reminding me about it. It's so easy to throw stuff in but I haven't unpacked it since moving countries in jan. Will do that today 

[Lorenza]

6 hours ago, Foxhall said:

maybe take time to prepare your own meals from scratch, you could end up enjoying it even,

also how about going vegan for a week or two, try a health kick,

Veganomicon is a good book, nice healthy recipes.

 

Been vegan for several years, was not a great experience especially towards the end, but getting back to it for a week might be fun. I used to cook way more as a vegan

[Lorenza]

9 hours ago, Fresh_Start said:

Eventually, these unhealthy eating habits will take their toll on your physical and mental health.  They're already taking a steady toll on your finances.   

The foods you're eating are loaded with sodium and cholesterol.  High sodium levels in your body have a wide range of negative health consequences that increase your risk of everything from high blood pressure, to depression, to kidney disease.  Excess sodium also causes fluid retention and bloating, which can have a dramatic effect on your physical appearance.  Eating foods that are high in cholesterol increase your risk of developing heart disease, strokes, and can also have a negative effect on your mood (among other things).  

Some of what you're ordering, snacking on, and popping in the microwave can also be loaded with the bad fats (trans and saturated) or sugars, both of which have negative health consequences with sugars increasing your risk of obesity and diabetes in addition to heart disease.  Diets that are too high in all of these things can leave your body with serious deficiencies hormonally and in terms of essential vitamins and nutrients.  Listing all of the potential negative risks, side effects, and health consequences would make this a tedious read so my advice to you if you're looking for some additional motivation to put an end to these unhealthy eating habits is to read up on them and educate yourself as to what it is you're putting in your body.  Right now you're young and it sounds like you have a high metabolism so that you can get away with this somewhat, but neither one of those is permanent and these unhealthy habits will catch up to you.  

Lastly, it's a lot more expensive to eat out, order delivery or carry out, and buy pre-packaged or prepared meals so the money you'd be saving by cooking your own meals could also serve as motivation. 

If you want to look your best, feel your best, live longer, significantly reduce your risk of developing a host of major and even debilitating health conditions as well as save money then you'll want to start changing these bad eating habits.       

I'm actually quite aware about the ingredients, as I mentioned I was vegan before so counting nutrients in a app and reading labels was a thing back then. Also stroke runs in my family together with other coronary diseases. But it somehow doesn't scare me yet. Saving money could however be motivating, as I am saving up for a house. Should count my expenses to shock myself into cooking at home more 

[Lorenza]

9 hours ago, Emilie Jolie said:

 

Fair enough.

Looks like you're pretty self-aware already . 

I guess it's called comfort food for a reason. It's kind of like a type of self-medication that you can become addicted to, like alcohol or drugs presumably, and I assume it triggers the same reward system.

It's just much easier and cheaper to access than drugs or alcohol.

Probably safer to address this with a dietician or a therapist though, if you really want to unlock the psychological reasons why you don't see the point in looking after yourself 

 

Yeah, I've been thinking about getting a therapist, as my work insurance will cover it anyway. It definitely is an addiction.. 

[Ellener]

12 hours ago, Lorenza said:

What's the point if you're gonna eat alone. 

It's hard being lonely isn't it right now. Hard to healthily channel meeting my needs.

But when you get to my age ( mid 50s and sooner than you think ) you'll wish you'd taken better care of yourself.

I've thought and written a lot about the reasons for self-destructive behaviours from an evolutionary imperative. I grew up in a chaotic household, then made a chaotic life as an adult, it's like risk-taking is hard-wired in some of us. It's what makes us fun and creative caring humans sometimes...and an absolute pain in the arse for other humans others. 

But it could just as easily be the low nutritional content in the food you are eating- you crave better nutrients but your mind just tells you eat more then? 

Experiment with yourself! Make your solitary life fun! is what I am trying to get into...I think it's stages of grief mourning for my old life which has probably gone ( plus all the triggering previous losses ) 

I've re-invented myself several times now so I have it down pat:

*one last pity party! ( and mean it, unless prepared for the rest of my life to be one last pity party day after day... )

*set some practical goals every single day/hour by hour if necessary

*reward myself...that's harder when so many of the simple healthy things I enjoy aren't open to me...

Work in progress ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

We are all a work in progress.....!

 

 

[Lorenza]

1 hour ago, Ellener said:

It's hard being lonely isn't it right now. Hard to healthily channel meeting my needs.

But when you get to my age ( mid 50s and sooner than you think ) you'll wish you'd taken better care of yourself.

I've thought and written a lot about the reasons for self-destructive behaviours from an evolutionary imperative. I grew up in a chaotic household, then made a chaotic life as an adult, it's like risk-taking is hard-wired in some of us. It's what makes us fun and creative caring humans sometimes...and an absolute pain in the arse for other humans others. 

But it could just as easily be the low nutritional content in the food you are eating- you crave better nutrients but your mind just tells you eat more then? 

Experiment with yourself! Make your solitary life fun! is what I am trying to get into...I think it's stages of grief mourning for my old life which has probably gone ( plus all the triggering previous losses ) 

I've re-invented myself several times now so I have it down pat:

*one last pity party! ( and mean it, unless prepared for the rest of my life to be one last pity party day after day... )

*set some practical goals every single day/hour by hour if necessary

*reward myself...that's harder when so many of the simple healthy things I enjoy aren't open to me...

Work in progress ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

We are all a work in progress.....!

 

 

Thanks Ellener, a great post. 

Time goes so fast and yes, I will probably regret not taking care of myself now. 50's are just moments away, cause next 20 years will no doubt pass by much faster than the last 20 years. I have some unprocessed grief for the past and also some preparational grief for things to come. A lot of work in progress... 

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am in the same boat. I was/am probably worse than you. Ever since my early 20s, I have eaten like crap. Like most days, I would have ice-ream and sweets for dinner. Random chips and other junk for other meals. Sometimes few glasses of wine with ice-cream. I would probably only have 1-2 real meals a week (including frozen meals). I was only careful to keep the check on my caloric intake for the day. Like you can eat 1500 calories of chocolate every day and not gain weight.

I had blood tests every year and my every physical was always great. My cholesterol and blood sugar levels were always mid-range normal, so was my blood pressure. I kept a steady weight. The fist time my blood tests were borderline abnormal was at 39. My blood glucose was in the upper range. My blood cholesterol was the same. My doctor said it was all fine. I had a new doctor check an inflammation biomarker which was triple the normal levels. So I believe that general blood tests don't even pick up on much until it's too late. I am now 40 and it's still a struggle. I guess I just don't care? 

I am only motivated by weight loss. I managed to switch my diet from all sugar to under 20 grams of carbs for 2 months without a single cheat meal - because I wanted to lose weight. But now I am back to eating crap. I guess I hate the word "moderation". God knows what will happen when I am 50. Don't be like me. It will eventually catch up with you and may be irreversible.

[Lorenza]

36 minutes ago, Eternal Sunshine said:

I am in the same boat. I was/am probably worse than you. Ever since my early 20s, I have eaten like crap. Like most days, I would have ice-ream and sweets for dinner. Random chips and other junk for other meals. Sometimes few glasses of wine with ice-cream. I would probably only have 1-2 real meals a week (including frozen meals). I was only careful to keep the check on my caloric intake for the day. Like you can eat 1500 calories of chocolate every day and not gain weight.

I had blood tests every year and my every physical was always great. My cholesterol and blood sugar levels were always mid-range normal, so was my blood pressure. I kept a steady weight. The fist time my blood tests were borderline abnormal was at 39. My blood glucose was in the upper range. My blood cholesterol was the same. My doctor said it was all fine. I had a new doctor check an inflammation biomarker which was triple the normal levels. So I believe that general blood tests don't even pick up on much until it's too late. I am now 40 and it's still a struggle. I guess I just don't care? 

I am only motivated by weight loss. I managed to switch my diet from all sugar to under 20 grams of carbs for 2 months without a single cheat meal - because I wanted to lose weight. But now I am back to eating crap. I guess I hate the word "moderation". God knows what will happen when I am 50. Don't be like me. It will eventually catch up with you and may be irreversible.

Thanks for sharing, Eternal Sunshine. Are you also a long term bachelorette or are you in a relationship? I eat worse with each single year it seems like.

My blood tests aren't the greatest already, they never went back to normal after veganism. So it will definitely catch up with me earlier than late 30's... The only good thing is my metabolism, thanks to dad who eats crap into his 50's and still doesn't get overweight. I don't know how to stop

[Ellener]

4 hours ago, Eternal Sunshine said:

I guess I hate the word "moderation". God knows what will happen when I am 50. Don't be like me. It will eventually catch up with you and may be irreversible.

I think we just try to nurture ourself in the wrong way. 

It's never too late! I reversed Type 2 diabetes just before the pandemic. I was a1c 12.5 at one point and told to take insulin, I didn't want to because it didn't seem like the right thing to do, it felt like medicalising something more basic than that. 

Since the pandemic I am now struggling to take care of myself again, there just isn't enough warmth and human contact in daily life now.

Food, alcohol, addictions etc move in to fill the void when we don't meet our needs.

[FMW]

I'm not motivated by weight loss/gain, but I'm definitely motivated by how I feel.  At 55 what I put in my body makes a huge difference in how I feel, so that's the only thing that keeps me in line. Eating processed food with little to no nutritional value leaves me feeling sluggish and just gross in general. 

I don't really enjoy cooking either, but you can throw together healthy food fairly quickly.  I love baked chicken, steamed vegetables and salads.  None of that requires much prep time or thought.  

Try to focus on easy things you like, and even though you're younger you probably will still feel much better if you cut down on the not-so-healthy food.  Hopefully that will help your motivation.

[Ruby Slippers]

Have you thought about working with a nutritionist? 

I love to cook and normally eat pretty clean. The past month since a breakup I've been eating too much sugar, carbs, and junk, and now I'm starting to see and feel the effects. I have a grocery order arriving today and it's got green juice, vegetables, almost all good stuff. I know that after just a few days of cleaner eating I'll be feeling and looking better. 

[rjc149]

Track your eating expenses for 2 weeks while you eat out. Add it up. 

Then, track your eating expenses for 2 weeks when you buy groceries and cook. Cook every meal, make your own coffee even. Don't buy out for 2 weeks. Add it up. 

The savings alone should be eye-popping. It's a fraction of what you spend eating out. 

Then, read up on the health benefits of eating whole foods. Fresh produce and meat, whole grains, being able to know exactly what the ingredients are in your meals. It will be positive reinforcement every time you eat a clean meal that you prepared on your stove or in your oven. Study what different fruits and vegetables do for your body, and learn the various nutrients and benefits they provide. It will make eating them more enjoyable. 

Then, get into podcasts and have them on while you cook, eat, and clean up afterwards. 

Your body will feel cleaner and better. You will notice it. You will then be more conscious of how poorly you feel when you eat like sh-t. 

[Happy Lemming]

If you want meat, one of the my tricks for a fast easy no mess meal was to use those frozen pre-cooked meatballs.  I used to get the big bag at Sam's Club.  Throw a couple of them on a paper plate, heat them up in a microwave and toss them in all manner of dishes.  I used to chop 'em up and add them to rice, splash in a little teriyaki sauce; YUMMY!  I'd also chop them up & add them in with some pasta (cooked in the microwave); splash with olive oil, peas (optional), Italian spices and fresh pepper.  Cook the pasta in a glad ware container, drain with a spatula or large fork and cook/eat in one dish.  If you don't finish, slap on the cover on the glad ware and re-heat the next day for lunch.

You can also use them to make a quick meatball sandwich, just add some Ragu and your favorite spices.

[Ruby Slippers]

38 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Cook the pasta in a glad ware container, drain with a spatula or large fork and cook/eat in one dish.

Be careful microwaving plastic. Heating it to that degree can cause harmful chemicals from the plastic to leech into the food. I never microwave anything in plastic - microwave-safe glass or ceramic only.

[Ellener]

2 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I have a grocery order arriving today and it's got green juice, vegetables, almost all good stuff. I know that after just a few days of cleaner eating I'll be feeling and looking better. 

That's what I need to do!

[Lorenza]

Guys, I know how to cook, wanted to talk more or less about the phychology behind not wanting to eat healthy when you are alone posted this topic in self-improvement but it got moved by admins

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, Lorenza said:

Guys, I know how to cook, wanted to talk more or less about the phychology behind not wanting to eat healthy when you are alone posted this topic in self-improvement but it got moved by admins

I read a book a few years ago it was really about self-sabotage ( which I do a lot if left to my own devices...) but the lady said she got fat because she then felt safe to be herself, she could be fun in a way she didn't feel she could when she was thinner. I was a bit like that when I was married, I didn't want to leave my husband or cheat on him, so I gained weight and behaved outrageously flirty with our friends at times. 

The psychology of what we do is about the rewards versus the restraints of doing something.