Juha Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Janc07 said: Can you please re-read what i said? I said to him “i dont wanna see a guy during quarantine”. This was before NYC even went into phase 1 when the pandemic was still bad. I never said “i dont wanna see you” My bad still in quarantine when you said that then went phase 2. you never answered anything else I pointed out If you were actually interested in October guy why did you not make plans to see him when you could? You could have contacted him... Why did you ask him if you should see another guy? I still stand by your actions told him you were not interested in him and he stopped bothering with you, like any man who respects himself should. No guy wants to be backup or friends with someone they are wanting to date Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 1, 2020 Author Share Posted July 1, 2020 7 minutes ago, Juha said: My bad still in quarantine when you said that then went phase 2. you never answered anything else I pointed out If you were actually interested in October guy why did you not make plans to see him when you could? You could have contacted him... Why did you ask him if you should see another guy? I still stand by your actions told him you were not interested in him and he stopped bothering with you, like any man who respects himself should. No guy wants to be backup or friends with someone they are wanting to date We did make plans but I had to study for an exam and I was indecisive if i should see the other guy or not Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 Still makes no sense why you would ask October guy if you should go out with someone else. Just looks like attention seeking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 48 minutes ago, Janc07 said: We did make plans but I had to study for an exam and I was indecisive if i should see the other guy or not A woman would give you a better answer to this question. Why didn't you ask one? Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Janc07 said: We did make plans but I had to study for an exam and I was indecisive if i should see the other guy or not Why did you ask him if you should see another guy? What were you expecting from him? You are surprised he is ignoring you now? October guy respects himself, you told him you were not interested in dating him so he nexted you. When I say this I do not mean you said those exact words but what you did told him all he needed to know that he should not expend another minute of his time with you Makes perfect sense, not sure why you do not understand what you did here Edited July 1, 2020 by Juha 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 1, 2020 Share Posted July 1, 2020 2 hours ago, Mystery4u said: Still makes no sense why you would ask October guy if you should go out with someone else. Just looks like attention seeking. Sorry OP but this is exactly what it looks like and that guy probably didn't want any part of those kind of games. It's immature. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 On 6/29/2020 at 2:52 PM, d0nnivain said: Since Mr. October couldn't get off his duff & manage to meet you between October & March you were well within your rights to talk to other men. I wasn't your fault that you coincidently picked his buddy & that the buddy had more sense to try to arrange a date / meeting. Mr. October needs to learn that when you snooze you lose. she refused to meet him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 2, 2020 Author Share Posted July 2, 2020 1 hour ago, Noproblem said: she refused to meet him! No I f***ing didn't? He even told me "let's meet up after you take your exam". I didn't wanna meet up with anyone from a dating app in general while I was studying for this exam Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2, 2020 Share Posted July 2, 2020 29 minutes ago, Janc07 said: No I f***ing didn't? He even told me "let's meet up after you take your exam". I didn't wanna meet up with anyone from a dating app in general while I was studying for this exam This begs the question: why were you on a dating app to begin with if studying for an exam was this all-consuming, for months on end, and you couldn't actually go on a date? It doesn't make a lot of sense, Janc. Most guys are not going to be that interested in having a chat buddy that long, especially when she comes back and asks him if she should go out with someone else. What was your intention in asking him that? Do you genuinely not see why that wasn't a good idea if you hoped to actually meet up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 3, 2020 Author Share Posted July 3, 2020 10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: This begs the question: why were you on a dating app to begin with if studying for an exam was this all-consuming, for months on end, and you couldn't actually go on a date? It doesn't make a lot of sense, Janc. Most guys are not going to be that interested in having a chat buddy that long, especially when she comes back and asks him if she should go out with someone else. What was your intention in asking him that? Do you genuinely not see why that wasn't a good idea if you hoped to actually meet up with him? There's nothing wrong with being a on a dating app while I was studying. He works at a covid unit which is why he didn't wanna see anyone Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 36 minutes ago, Janc07 said: There's nothing wrong with being a on a dating app while I was studying. So you go on a dating app, knowing full well you won't be meeting anyone from it because you have a oh so important exam that means you can't even leave the house for a few hours (yea right), just to get an ego boost by being shown some attention, not caring one bit you are basically wasting the time of anyone you actually talk to on there? And you think there's nothing wrong with that? Yea ok, you have issues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 3, 2020 Share Posted July 3, 2020 4 hours ago, Janc07 said: There's nothing wrong with being a on a dating app while I was studying. Actually, there is: the problem with that is that you're making yourself look like an attention-seeker, rather than someone who is actually ready to date. It creates the impression that you just want a text-buddy to scratch your ego. It also still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to ask him if you should go out with another guy. All of the above make it pretty clear why he doesn't want anything to do with you now. We can't really help you further if you truly lack this much insight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 April guy's birthday is in a few days. If he posts something on his birthday, should I comment "happy birthday" for October guy to see it or not comment at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 On 7/1/2020 at 1:30 PM, Janc07 said: We did make plans but I had to study for an exam and I was indecisive if i should see the other guy or not So you were busy studying, or you were indecisive on meeting up? Something doesn't add up here. If you want our help and advice, you will at least have to be honest with yourself first. On 7/2/2020 at 8:07 AM, ExpatInItaly said: This begs the question: why were you on a dating app to begin with if studying for an exam was this all-consuming, for months on end, and you couldn't actually go on a date? It doesn't make a lot of sense, Janc. Most guys are not going to be that interested in having a chat buddy that long, especially when she comes back and asks him if she should go out with someone else. What was your intention in asking him that? Do you genuinely not see why that wasn't a good idea if you hoped to actually meet up with him? Agreed, If you can't meet people IRL, wait to go on the dating site until you are. It is so infuriating to go through the motions and then never meet. Super exhausting. Not sure why you just couldn't wait to go online until after the test? Tinder will still be there... On 7/2/2020 at 6:41 PM, Janc07 said: There's nothing wrong with being a on a dating app while I was studying.... Well if you don't see a problem with it, keep doing it. Sounds like a recipe for success! <---sarcasm 18 hours ago, Janc07 said: April guy's birthday is in a few days. If he posts something on his birthday, should I comment "happy birthday" for October guy to see it or not comment at all? Why would you even care at this point? Ego stroking? Pick the one you like the most and pursue. Or, move on and try not to get in between friends. It always gets messy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
assertives Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 On 7/13/2020 at 10:00 AM, Janc07 said: April guy's birthday is in a few days. If he posts something on his birthday, should I comment "happy birthday" for October guy to see it or not comment at all? I mean, if you really wanted to send him birthday wishes and greetings, just text him. Or comment on his social media. But if you don't give a damn otherwise and your only intention isn't to wish him happy birthday, but to use his birthday as an opportunity for your own selfish agenda with his friend, then don't bother at all. It sounds like his friend is not interested anymore. Doing this will only drive home the point that his decision to not engage further is right. If you are really into this guy, I'd suggest being upfront about it with him and tell him you're interested in dating/getting to know him, but if that's not what he wants, then it's cool too, at least you know where he stands. Don't play games. It isn't going to do you any favors. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 On 7/13/2020 at 4:00 AM, Janc07 said: April guy's birthday is in a few days. If he posts something on his birthday, should I comment "happy birthday" for October guy to see it or not comment at all? Just message him directly, if you want. The man from October is a done deal anyway. What you say or do at this point likely isn't going to paint you in an even more negative light than he already sees you, if I may be blunt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janc07 Posted July 18, 2020 Author Share Posted July 18, 2020 Update: One of October guy’s friends started following me on instagram last night. I have my instagram in my tinder bio so maybe he found me on there? Or idk if he told his friend about me but still i’m in shock. Now, we’re dming each other on instagram Link to post Share on other sites
Backinthesaddleagain Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 2 hours ago, Janc07 said: Update: One of October guy’s friends started following me on instagram last night. I have my instagram in my tinder bio so maybe he found me on there? Or idk if he told his friend about me but still i’m in shock. Now, we’re dming each other on instagram 🤦♂️ Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 4 hours ago, Janc07 said: Update: One of October guy’s friends started following me on instagram last night. I have my instagram in my tinder bio so maybe he found me on there? Or idk if he told his friend about me but still i’m in shock. Now, we’re dming each other on instagram About what? Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 On 7/2/2020 at 10:34 AM, Janc07 said: No I f***ing didn't? He even told me "let's meet up after you take your exam". I didn't wanna meet up with anyone from a dating app in general while I was studying for this exam There were 5 months between October and March and you managed to not meet up with this guy because you needed to study? Every night for 5 months? Why were you on a dating app, in that case? And why would you then ask Mr. October if you should go out with someone else rather than telling him you were done studying and ready to meet? Why would you ask some guy you've never met whether to go on a date with someone else? This all just smacks of game-playing and attention-seeking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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