How can I date white women.

May 25, 2020

7 minutes ago, preraph said:

No, of course respect is not given by default. Respect is something you have to deserve and earn.

Sure about that?

Others whould beg to differ.

It is actually disrespect that is earned.

May 25, 2020

12 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

But, it seems to me it does affect your date personally when you can't pay for a date with her. YOU may be fine to go on dates with a woman that cost nothing but a woman won't be fine with that. What you don't seem to understand, is that most women want to be with someone who can support himself and at the very least contribute to the financial stability of a family unit, should the relationship progress to marriage.

The women you date will be thinking about this whether you think it's stupid or not. Your attitude toward this may change when you begin to date and learn more about why women want what they want.

It's good to read that you value employment, though. Once you find work you will be in a better position to date or get into a relationship.

Nice post LWP and I agree. There's nothing wrong with enjoying spending on someone you enjoy. There just isn't.

May 25, 2020

13 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are being serious. You'll have to forgive the very understandable incredulity of the other posters replying to you.

You want to date western women, which requires you to participate in western society, whether you agree with it or not. As Ayn Rand said, "you can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality."

The reality is that your attitudes and viewpoints toward dating, not to mention your state of affairs, are extremely unattractive to women. The consequences of ignoring that reality is dying a virgin. Playing lots of video games as an unemployed 37-year old and refusing to pay for dates are simply another 2 nails in your virginal coffin.

I'm not thrilled about dropping $100+ on a girl I just met, paying for drinks, food, cabs/Ubers, door covers, whatever. That's dating in NYC. But if I don't pay, my chances of successful dates and getting laid are diminished. So I bite the bullet, man up, and pay up. A man is supposed to take care of his woman. That is what attractive men do.

It sounds very much like you're not interested in being an attractive man. You want everything to simply fall into place for you, because that's simply how it's supposed to work in your mind. You're a man, you deserve a woman, and you don't care about the trifling details. Well, that's not reality.

An eligible young white American woman, no. There isn't. Effectively. That's reality.

The alternative to confronting reality would be to relocate to another society, or remove yourself from society entirely. The details of your situation would not matter if you lived in a tribal South American or African society deep in the jungle, or alone in a remote cabin in the Alaskan wilderness. And I'm being serious. There are other very fulfilling forms of living in this world that do not require you embrace the reality of western society. But, that would also mean forgoing your desire to date a western woman.

Oh believe me, I've been very serious.

You said: "You want to date western women, which requires you to participate in western society"

I am participating in western society. But I'm also navigating through it and having a balance.

You said: "The reality is that your attitudes and viewpoints toward dating, not to mention your state of affairs, are extremely unattractive to women."

So you are speaking for every single individual woman that lives in the anited states of america?

You said: "I'm not thrilled about dropping $100+ on a girl I just met, paying for drinks, food, cabs/Ubers, door covers, whatever. That's dating in NYC. But if I don't pay, my chances of successful dates and getting laid are diminished."

You may not have heard, but I am one of those people that doesn't have sex before marriage.

From what you just said, it seems that nyc has alot of gold diggers in it.

You said: "A man is supposed to take care of his woman."

See, that right there is where you all are misunderstanding where I'm coming from.

I don't have to "take care of her." She is a grown woman, and she doesn't have to take care of me because I am a grown man. We're not trying to be each other's parents. The only thing that we do is love and be supportive of each other. Why is this simple concept so hard for you all to understand?

Here's the thing. It would be so funny if after this debate, I go on my search and find a woman that doesn't have a problem with my current situation.

That'll tell you something about the stupidity the society believes in.

May 25, 2020

RJC, really enjoyed the Ayn Rand quote. I used to read her avidly when I was very young but it has been so long since I've read her, that I had forgotten some of her allure.

May 25, 2020

Not having sex before marriage is also going to eliminate most of the women. You are doing literally everything to ensure that you are not able to keep a woman. Everything you stand on is eliminating 99% of the women out there.

May 25, 2020

I haven't read through this entire thread... but if you're a 37 year old virgin with no job and who still lives with his mom, you might want to do something about that first before thinking about (white) women...

May 25, 2020

5 minutes ago, preraph said:

Not having sex before marriage is also going to eliminate most of the women. You are doing literally everything to ensure that you are not able to keep a woman. Everything you stand on is eliminating 99% of the women out there.

99% of women huh.

Me and others beg to differ.

May 25, 2020

4 minutes ago, Erik30 said:

I haven't read through this entire thread... but if you're a 37 year old virgin with no job and who still lives with his mom, you might want to do something about that first before thinking about (white) women...

Guess what, I can do that at the same time as being in a relationship with a white woman.

Edited May 25, 2020 by observingman37

May 25, 2020

No one's looking for a 40 year old Virgin. If you wanted to marry when you were a virgin and have any amount of people out there who fit in that niche, you would have had to do it in your late teens.

And there are very few virgins left in your age group.

May 25, 2020

28 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

You said: "The reality is that your attitudes and viewpoints toward dating, not to mention your state of affairs, are extremely unattractive to women."

So you are speaking for every single individual woman that lives in the anited states of america?

If you're open to dating any type of woman in the USA, then no. But you're not. You're only open to dating a specific subset of American women. Young attractive virtuous white American women between 5'0 and 5'4. Among this subset of women in the USA, you are not romantically appealing.

28 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

You may not have heard, but I am one of those people that doesn't have sex before marriage.

You're a virgin, I heard that part loud and clear.

28 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

From what you just said, it seems that nyc has alot of gold diggers in it.

A gold digger is a woman who marries an otherwise sexually unattractive man to benefit from his financial resources (and yes, NYC is full of them). A woman who lets a man pay for a 1st date is not a gold digger.

28 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

See, that right there is where you all are misunderstanding where I'm coming from.

I don't have to "take care of her." She is a grown woman, and she doesn't have to take care of me because I am a grown man. We're not trying to be each other's parents. The only thing that we do is love and be supportive of each other. Why is this simple concept so hard for you all to understand?

And this is where you misunderstand dating and sexual attraction. You have zero experience with it.

You have very little to offer a mate. Romantic love is conditional on what you offer. Whether or not a woman enters a romantic relationship with you will depend on the support you can give her. That support is not simply emotional and spiritual. It is worldly as well. As a man, you DO have to take care of your partner. And she needs to take care of you. You both need to contribute to the partnership. You have very little to contribute, hence, your sex appeal is minimal. Loving a woman is not enough to keep her in a relationship.

The somewhat contradictory aspect is that you seem to want a very traditional, conservative relationship, and yet you shun the traditional male gender role.

Luckily, you can increase your sex appeal. Get a job, get a car, get in shape, get some resources to offer. I would get busy doing that. Very busy. Because even if you somehow manage to find the right woman, and get her to go for you -- then, you need to keep her. And that, my friend, is a much harder ball game.

Edited May 25, 2020 by rjc149

May 25, 2020

18 minutes ago, preraph said:

No one's looking for a 40 year old Virgin.

I saw this program on Netflix about couples who've never seen each other or talked to each other meeting for the first time at the wedding altar, getting married, honeymoon and then decide if they want to stay married or divorce. There was one bride who was a 27 year old virgin and the groom that got her wasn't too excited about it at all and the others admitted they were glad they didn't end up with one. I thought they'd be happy to get a virgin but at 27 it was weird to them and raised flags.

May 25, 2020

Folks, I am going to step in here and remind everyone of our civility and respect guidelines.

Let's please keep our posts and replies polite and productive to the topic.

May 25, 2020

Okay, observingman... keep doing what you’re doing since it’s working so well for you. I thought you were here asking how to date white women

We’re just saying you’re going to need to straighten things up in your life before women in general will be attracted to you. Your criteria may just be white, no tattoos, doesn’t drink... but most women’s criteria is has a job, has a car, has had relationships by 37

It just is

Edited May 25, 2020 by Cookiesandough

May 25, 2020

2 hours ago, preraph said:

No, of course respect is not given by default. Respect is something you have to deserve and earn.

I'm kind of with OP on this, respect is something you lose....it is trust one earns. Dating someone takes trust, even if a little but...and if you want more (like marriage) there is a whole lot more to be earned. Of course ones life choices can cause people to lose respect for you real quick

May 25, 2020

59 minutes ago, rjc149 said:

If you're open to dating any type of woman in the USA, then no. But you're not. You're only open to dating a specific subset of American women. Young attractive virtuous white American women between 5'0 and 5'4. Among this subset of women in the USA, you are not romantically appealing.

You're a virgin, I heard that part loud and clear.

A gold digger is a woman who marries an otherwise sexually unattractive man to benefit from his financial resources (and yes, NYC is full of them). A woman who lets a man pay for a 1st date is not a gold digger.

And this is where you misunderstand dating and sexual attraction. You have zero experience with it.

You have very little to offer a mate. Romantic love is conditional on what you offer. Whether or not a woman enters a romantic relationship with you will depend on the support you can give her. That support is not simply emotional and spiritual. It is worldly as well. As a man, you DO have to take care of your partner. And she needs to take care of you. You both need to contribute to the partnership. You have very little to contribute, hence, your sex appeal is minimal. Loving a woman is not enough to keep her in a relationship.

The somewhat contradictory aspect is that you seem to want a very traditional, conservative relationship, and yet you shun the traditional male gender role.

Luckily, you can increase your sex appeal. Get a job, get a car, get in shape, get some resources to offer. I would get busy doing that. Very busy. Because even if you somehow manage to find the right woman, and get her to go for you -- then, you need to keep her. And that, my friend, is a much harder ball game.

You said: "Among this subset of women in the USA, you are not romantically appealing."

You're making an assumption about me again.

You said: "A woman who lets a man pay for a 1st date is not a gold digger."

So you're saying I only have to pay for the first date only?

You said: "you DO have to take care of your partner. And she needs to take care of you."

Uh, no we don't.

Like I mentioned this is just going in circle now. You all are just going to keep just saying the same thing.

May 25, 2020

I actually think you’ll have better luck with younger women...with all due respect, most younger women aren’t as picky about career and stuff as the ones closer to the age to settle down are

May 25, 2020

26 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Okay, observingman... keep doing what you’re doing since it’s working so well for you. I thought you were here asking how to date white women

We’re just saying you’re going to need to straighten things up in your life before women in general will be attracted to you. Your criteria may just be white, no tattoos, doesn’t drink... but most women’s criteria is has a job, has a car, has had relationships by 37

It just is

I was here just talking about dating white women. But the critics on here made it into a debate and took it to a whole other place.

You said: "We’re just saying you’re going to need to straighten things up in your life before women in general will be attracted to you."

I already know that I have to straighten things up in my life. But what does that have to do with her just being my companion?

At least you didn't just come with assumptions, predictions and judgments. So I appreciate that.

May 25, 2020

1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said:

I actually think you’ll have better luck with younger women...with all due respect, most younger women aren’t as picky about career and stuff as the ones closer to the age to settle down are

You know what, that's what I whould like to search for.

And in my observation a good number of young women would like to marry as well.

May 25, 2020

54 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

You said: "Among this subset of women in the USA, you are not romantically appealing."

You're making an assumption about me again.

More of an assumption about attractive young American women, which is generally supported as true by overwhelming consensus. Yes, maybe you’ll find a unicorn. Maybe you’ll win the lottery. You never know.

56 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

You said: "A woman who lets a man pay for a 1st date is not a gold digger."

So you're saying I only have to pay for the first date only?

No, I’m saying that you should generally be in the spirit of showing a woman a good time on a 1st date and taking care of the bill. That means being willing to pay. It also means being able to pay for a non-alcoholic date at age 37.

The only hard and fast rule of mine, personally, is dates 1-2 are paid for by me, and I would like if she offered to contribute on date 3 especially if sex has not been had by date 2. If sex has been had, I have no problems continuing to pay for dates if we continue seeing each other. I enjoy taking care of my women.

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

You said: "you DO have to take care of your partner. And she needs to take care of you."

Uh, no we don't.

A woman has needs beyond emotional and spiritual needs. She has worldly needs, needs to feel safe, secure, protected, and cared for. That means financially too, if you’re talking marriage. If you aren’t meeting her needs, she will leave you.

I think this is less of an issue of going in circles, and more of your willful denial and refusal to accept the reality of romantic relationships. I think you came here seeking feedback and input, and although some of that input has come off as a bit derisive, it’s harsh reality and tough love. You’ve been shown a path to water, but if you refuse to drink it, you’re not going anywhere.

May 25, 2020

10 hours ago, simpycurious said:

Not sure most men would want that Basil........competition is NOT A BAD THING.

Of course they won't want that. This is about the OP wanting a woman where there's no competition. If they are both online and she's good, there WILL be competition.

May 25, 2020

2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

I actually think you’ll have better luck with younger women...with all due respect, most younger women aren’t as picky about career and stuff as the ones closer to the age to settle down are

That's all well and good till she discloses to her friends and family that the guy has no job and lives at home....

May 26, 2020

2 hours ago, rjc149 said:

More of an assumption about attractive young American women, which is generally supported as true by overwhelming consensus. Yes, maybe you’ll find a unicorn. Maybe you’ll win the lottery. You never know.

No, I’m saying that you should generally be in the spirit of showing a woman a good time on a 1st date and taking care of the bill. That means being willing to pay. It also means being able to pay for a non-alcoholic date at age 37.

The only hard and fast rule of mine, personally, is dates 1-2 are paid for by me, and I would like if she offered to contribute on date 3 especially if sex has not been had by date 2. If sex has been had, I have no problems continuing to pay for dates if we continue seeing each other. I enjoy taking care of my women.

A woman has needs beyond emotional and spiritual needs. She has worldly needs, needs to feel safe, secure, protected, and cared for. That means financially too, if you’re talking marriage. If you aren’t meeting her needs, she will leave you.

I think this is less of an issue of going in circles, and more of your willful denial and refusal to accept the reality of romantic relationships. I think you came here seeking feedback and input, and although some of that input has come off as a bit derisive, it’s harsh reality and tough love. You’ve been shown a path to water, but if you refuse to drink it, you’re not going anywhere.

You said: "She has worldly needs, needs to feel safe, secure, protected, and cared for. That means financially too, if you’re talking marriage. If you aren’t meeting her needs"

Seems that the women that you have in mind is looking for a parent. Here's the thing, I'm not it.

Look, I really don't know what else to say here. It's definitely going in circle.

You're whole discouraging reply says nay.

But my actual experience and success will says yea.

May 26, 2020

Oh okay well I learned. because when I was in my teens and early 20s I had one criteria... hot ... lol

Edited May 26, 2020 by Cookiesandough

May 26, 2020

5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Oh okay well I learned. because when I was in my teens and early 20s I had one criteria... hot ... lol

There's that.

May 26, 2020

1 hour ago, enigma32 said:

I would agree with you Cookies except normally, the type of younger girl that would go out with an older guy generally wants that older guy to have the traits she can expect in a mature man. Things like having a job, a ride, and a place to take her to have sex. When I was in my early-mid 30's I spent some time with women 19-26 and the ones who were into an older guy like me were tired of younger men not having their act together. The OP refuses to acknowledge that these things are even problems for him and thinks that any woman who wants a dude to have a job or take her out on a date is a gold digger.

OP: since you do not have any of the things that most decent women are looking for, it doesn't mean you can't find someone, but the ladies with options are probably gonna choose the more attractive option. That's why people here keep trying to give you advice, since that advice will make you a more attractive option for available women. You can hate it all you want, but when all things are considered, the guy with the job and a place of his own are gonna be more attractive to almost any decent woman out there....and the indecent ones too.

You know what, you all are still talking about sex when dating, when I keep specifically keep saying that I'm not having sex before marriage. So please quit taking about have sex during a date.

She's not a gold digger because she wants a date. The woman you are telling me is a gold digger because I have to "buy" her love with money.

Look, you're whole idea of my relationship says nay.

But my actual relationship with a woman will say yea.

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