How can I date white women.

May 24, 2020

8 hours ago, observingman37 said:

I just wanted to touch on something real quick.

It seems that some of the replys seems to be implying that I have to "buy" a woman with my social status.

Social status shouldn't be a factor in just getting a physical human companion. It should be how positive is the person personality and their outlook on life that should be the real factor.

If I really have to "pay" for her to simply be a physical companion, then she's no different than a prostitute, you have to pay for her too.

I have a moral standard and I'm not going to betray that.

You shouldn't have to pay anything for a woman to just be your physical human companion.

Society has really made the natural physical relationship between a man and a woman complicated.

man and woman relationship should for the most part be natural.

If you don't pay for a date after you ask a woman on one, there will be no second date. Please dive into Love Shack to look at the many threads on the subject rather than continuing the conversation on this thread. It seems to me you're doing an awful lot of things to prevent yourself from dating. And so far you have been very successful in holding yourself back.

Edited May 24, 2020 by preraph

May 24, 2020

8 hours ago, 5x5 said:

You are mistaken, since they aren't.

It is a condition of all primates that the ones with better social skills, are more successful with their fellow primates than the ones with lesser social skills.

You are evidently missing the point since it isn't all about social status, yet it is about social skills in a very big way, which do have an input into social status.

How do you think you will go attempting to wax lyrical, charm, apply some wit, have some banter, flirt and read social cues, when you have shared that you tend towards being anti-social and not having friends?

As to outlooks on life, let us not pretend that you have any idea how positive you will be in any sexual relationship. When you have avoided platonic relationships and haven't even dated anyone romantically as well.

Why would you have to "pay" for her? You haven't been given such advice here.

Humans are complex social animals, courting someone involves a myriad of nuanced social interactions.

The fact that the experienced people here are telling you that to have any success, it would help to have financial resources and to have a job. Is because it is a tall order for a man to expect a woman to pay for all of his dates with her.

Surely you can't be this naive, if you have no job how can you buy a woman a coffee and cake while you chat after going for a walk after she paid for your lunch the day before? What do you think dating will look like for you, if you won't pay for some things along the way like coffee, a gift of a book, a turn on a game in an arcade, dinner sometimes?

In my experience of dating, sometimes I paid for things, sometimes the woman paid for things and on other occasions we would put our money together, so that we could all have fun doing things like going to the theatre, music concerts, galleries, cafes and a myriad of other activities.

So how does that work going forward, do you both just hang out together till you both starve to death, or does she go out and work in order to pay for your accommodation, clothing and food?

The society you disparage, is simply the natural consequence of human behaviour.

They are, since we can't help but be that way.

That said at the end of the day you can tilt at windmills to no end all you like, yet that isn't going to change the reality of the world in which you live.

You would do well to appreciate that the world isn't fair, it isn't a sheltered workshop and you are not entitled to anything from any women at all.

If you want to date successfully you would do well to understand, that what you bring to the table matters just as much as what a woman brings to the table.

Tell you what, maybe we won't go on a "date."

Maybe dating is not the point.

The core point is to thoroughly get acquainted with each other character and personality, and that could be through actual going out on dates, talking on the phone or video chatting.

You said: "What do you think dating will look like for you, if you won't pay for some things along the way"

See, this is what I was trying to talk about. It is possible that we won't pay anything for either. We're not trying to buy each other.

You can give complicated advice all you want, I don't agree with you.

Look, there is a lot of women in this world and the thing is that, you have your people that are compatible with each other. So I'm just simply saying that I want a woman that is compatible with me.

May 24, 2020

8 hours ago, Yosemite said:

You should keep a journal where you track your goals...maybe you can try bullet journaling. Use the journal to make sure that you're doing something toward your goals daily.

As far as video games and watching YouTube videos, keep track of how much time you spend on each of those next week and then reduce it by a half hour every week. There's a book called Tiny habits, the small habits that change everything by BJ Fogg. It might help you stop playing video games and build better habits so that you can make yourself more eligible to date.

Like what?

Make one of your goals to participate in these interests at least once a week. It's a little tough right now because of the coronavirus and your lack of employment, but once things open up and you're employed, be ready to participate in group activities on a regular basis.

Well I like nature, animals, going to the zoo, science and technology and spirituality.

There is no need to stop playing video games as long as that's not the only thing.

May 24, 2020

1 hour ago, preraph said:

If you don't pay for a date after you ask a woman on one, there will be no second date. Please dive into Love Shack to look at the many threads on the subject rather than continuing the conversation on this thread. It seems to me you're doing an awful lot of things to prevent yourself from dating. And so far you have been very successful in holding yourself back.

I'm sorry but you're just wong about me.

May 24, 2020

Like others have noted, I'm just going by what you have said about yourself.

May 24, 2020

42 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

Tell you what, maybe we won't go on a "date."

That is a fair assessment of your chances.

May 24, 2020

1 minute ago, 5x5 said:

That is a fair assessment of your chances.

Still don't understand do you?

May 24, 2020

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

Well I like nature, animals, going to the zoo, science and technology and spirituality.

There is no need to stop playing video games as long as that's not the only thing.

If you had a job and everything else in your life together, then playing video games wouldn't be a problem. But you need to dedicate your time and energy to making major changes in your life; video games will distract you from that goal and soak up all your time. (BTW, your refusal to quit video games even temporarily, even while your life is such a mess is very typical and is exactly why "gamers" have such a negative reputation.)

If you refuse to quit video games, you should at least promise yourself that you'll only play for less than an hour a day and only after you've accomplished something that day that moves your life forward.

If you like animals, maybe try volunteering at a zoo or a shelter after the pandemic. You'll do low level tasks like cleaning up animal waste...but you can meet people and hopefully make some friends.

Do you work out? Do you like being physically active?

May 24, 2020

21 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

If you had a job and everything else in your life together, then playing video games wouldn't be a problem. But you need to dedicate your time and energy to making major changes in your life; video games will distract you from that goal and soak up all your time. (BTW, your refusal to quit video games even temporarily, even while your life is such a mess is very typical and is exactly why "gamers" have such a negative reputation.)

If you refuse to quit video games, you should at least promise yourself that you'll only play for less than an hour a day and only after you've accomplished something that day that moves your life forward.

If you like animals, maybe try volunteering at a zoo or a shelter after the pandemic. You'll do low level tasks like cleaning up animal waste...but you can meet people and hopefully make some friends.

Do you work out? Do you like being physically active?

"My life is such a mess"? Really?

I'm not replying to you anymore.

Edited May 24, 2020 by observingman37

May 24, 2020

33 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

"My life is such a mess"? Really?

I'm not replying to you anymore.

Well, sometimes the truth hurts.

You need a huge dose of reality...you're 37 and live with your mom. That's a mess, I'm sorry, but it is. (Have you ever lived in your own place? I'm guessing that you never have.) You don't have a job, you don't have a car, you don't have friends, and you've never dated...all of that is problematic and prevents you from dating, but probably the biggest issue you have is that you don't recognize those things as huge problems. And that lack of recognition will stop you from dating more than anything else.

Every issue you have is solvable. By this time next year, you could fix all of those issues and be in the position to date...if you put in the work.

At least give it a try. Try not playing video games for two weeks and not watching any YouTube videos. Try the journaling and get the book I recommended. If it doesn't work, you haven't lost anything.

Doing what you've always done, will get you what you've always gotten. Give something new a shot.

Is there a priest/leader in your religion that you can explain your situation to who can give you advice? Maybe talk to that person and see what they tell you.

Good luck.

May 24, 2020

You can't get a girlfriend by just talking to them online or on the phone. You can't know a person that way. You have to go on dates together to get to know each other. I'm getting a strong feeling that that is all about money to you but it's probably about anxiety. No woman is going to just fall into your lap if you just stay at home.

May 24, 2020

31 minutes ago, preraph said:

You can't get a girlfriend by just talking to them online or on the phone. You can't know a person that way. You have to go on dates together to get to know each other. I'm getting a strong feeling that that is all about money to you but it's probably about anxiety. No woman is going to just fall into your lap if you just stay at home.

But who said that I just stay at home?

It's not about money at all, even though some other particular people on this post call themselves thinking it does.

But how can you say that I can never know a woman that way? It's not like I'm just going to utilise those methods by themselves. I'm going to utilise everything that I can.

See that's the thing that some of the critics on here are just not getting, I have more confidence than I ever had before at 37yo. I sincerely do not care if people dated or gotten into a relationship at an earlier age. I am ready now.

You know some of the critics on this post are just following the general societal methods and notions. But the type of person I am is that I tread my own path and do this that works for me. I don't fear rejection because there's tons on women out there for everyone, and there's one for me too.

May 24, 2020

The point being that you will have to go on days and you can't refuse to pay once you ask someone on a date. but I'm glad you feel you have plenty of confidence to go forward and get out of the house and meet people.

May 24, 2020

3 minutes ago, preraph said:

The point being that you will have to go on days and you can't refuse to pay once you ask someone on a date. but I'm glad you feel you have plenty of confidence to go forward and get out of the house and meet people.

It's not like I'm saying that we wouldn't pay at all. I'm just saying that's not main point.

But thanks for the reply.

May 24, 2020

You may have already explained this and I just didn't read it or something, but getting back to your original question about dating white women, can you explain a little why you specifically want to date white women? do you feel you have more in common with them culturally than whatever your race is? Or is it strictly a matter of attraction!

May 24, 2020

12 minutes ago, preraph said:

You may have already explained this and I just didn't read it or something, but getting back to your original question about dating white women, can you explain a little why you specifically want to date white women? do you feel you have more in common with them culturally than whatever your race is? Or is it strictly a matter of attraction!

Sure.

It just simply a preference.

It's just like some men are attracted to fat women, some men are attracted to blonde women, some men are attracted to brunette women.

I am physically and sexually attracted to white women.

I don't like stereotypes, so that's a reason for me liking white women.

So there's nothing deep about me being attracted to white women. It's just simply my preference.

May 24, 2020

As long as you can find one or someone with similar cultural traits as you, you could try to date anyone you want. Sometimes there are cultural differences which will get in the way.

May 24, 2020

11 minutes ago, preraph said:

As long as you can find one or someone with similar cultural traits as you, you could try to date anyone you want. Sometimes there are cultural differences which will get in the way.

Thanks.

May 24, 2020

5 hours ago, observingman37 said:

I'm sorry but you're just wong about me.

... if wuvvin you is wongggg I don’t wanna be whiteeee.

May 25, 2020

21 hours ago, observingman37 said:

Social status shouldn't be a factor in just getting a physical human companion. It should be how positive is the person personality and their outlook on life that should be the real factor.

Although you're anonymous, you've opened yourself up to some fairly harsh judgement and that takes a bit of courage.

As for the quote above, look up the word "quixotic." I can think of no better adjective to describe it, or who you are portraying yourself to be in this thread. Unrealistically idealistic.

Social status is the number 1 determining factor of a man's appeal to women. Like, it's practically the end all be all. It's why ugly fat guys can date hot women if they're rich and powerful. But it's not a matter of being rich and powerful. It's simply a matter of having your life together as a man in society. I think the other posters are just trying to get you to come down to earth about the fact that you have some very serious situational handicaps that make you an unsuitable romantic prospect for 95% of women, of all races.

Women will dig your confidence and seemingly unwavering self-assurance. But, women are not going to dig a guy with your situational handicaps regardless of how confident and self-assured and positive and spiritual you are.

I guess, it's better to frame your inquiry more along the lines of "how can I improve my social status and overall attractiveness to women in general, so that I can have options with the types of women I am attracted to?" You're asking how to build a roof, but you haven't even laid a foundation for the building yet.

Edited May 25, 2020 by rjc149

May 25, 2020

0bservingman37, almost all women want a man who can support himself financially, whether he is black, white, green, blue, 37 or 73. The fact that you have no job and live with your mother will be a turn off for almost all women.

May 25, 2020

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

Although you're anonymous, you've opened yourself up to some fairly harsh judgement and that takes a bit of courage.

As for the quote above, look up the word "quixotic." I can think of no better adjective to describe it, or who you are portraying yourself to be in this thread. Unrealistically idealistic.

Social status is the number 1 determining factor of a man's appeal to women. Like, it's practically the end all be all. It's why ugly fat guys can date hot women if they're rich and powerful. But it's not a matter of being rich and powerful. It's simply a matter of having your life together as a man in society. I think the other posters are just trying to get you to come down to earth about the fact that you have some very serious situational handicaps that make you an unsuitable romantic prospect for 95% of women, of all races.

Women will dig your confidence and seemingly unwavering self-assurance. But, women are not going to dig a guy with your situational handicaps regardless of how confident and self-assured and positive and spiritual you are.

I guess, it's better to frame your inquiry more along the lines of "how can I improve my social status and overall attractiveness to women in general, so that I can have options with the types of women I am attracted to?" You're asking how to build a roof, but you haven't even laid a foundation for the building yet.

I appreciate your reply in a non judgmental and reasonable manner.

I am aware of how society works, and obviously from my replays I don't agree with it. Matter of fact this is one of the reasons why I haven't dated till now.

I can tell you this, I will definitely be sure to avoid those kind of women in my search.

May 25, 2020

34 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

0bservingman37, almost all women want a man who can support himself financially, whether he is black, white, green, blue, 37 or 73. The fact that you have no job and live with your mother will be a turn off for almost all women.

Employment is something that I am honestly working working on.

But the thing is, my challenges and problems doesn't have to effect her personally. Those are my challenges and battles that I have to fight, not her.

I can't help but to find it really stupid in society that people worry about the social situation of their partner, when it's not affecting them personally.

Edited May 25, 2020 by observingman37

May 25, 2020

Well if you’re broke then how’re you supposed to take a woman out and buy her a sandwich and a Pepsi. If you have a job you also walk taller, and are more confident.

Edited May 25, 2020 by Interstellar

May 25, 2020

1 minute ago, Interstellar said:

Well if you’re broke then how’re you supposed to take a woman out and pay for the sandwich and the Pepsi. If you have a job you also walk taller, and are more confident.

Oh I'm not worried about confidence as you can tell, that's something I already have.

There are a few ways that I view this.

If there are days that I don't have any money, I will make sure that I am honest and upfront with her about my situation.

To be honest with you I'm personally not even fully 100% in agreement with just one person paying for the whole date. But that's just me.

Like I mentioned, I don't mind rejection. What she sees is what she gets, if she doesn't like it then just move on, to the one that will like it.

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