How can I date white women.

[observingman37]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

What type of activities do you like?  What would be a good date to you?

Well I'm a gamer. So some of the good places I'd like to go on dates are places like the arcade, e3 and comic conventions or places similar.

Edited May 23, 2020 by observingman37

[observingman37]

46 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

How long have you been unemployed?

Do you have friends?

Do you live with your parents?

Why didn't you want to date until now? This board is anonymous, so why not post the reason? OK, you wanted to wait, but why? To prove that you could? You didn't have desires? You were shy? You're a loner? You were a video game addict? Why?
 

My last job was working at a car plant. I had to leave because of health concerns. I haven't been employed for about a year and a few months. But I'm trying to find work again, but this covid-19 situation kinda made that more of a challenge than before. Even in the baha'i faith, it commands us to work and to serve humanity.

I don't have many friends [that's by choice] but I have a lot of cousins that I associate with.

I live with my mom for the moment. My dad passed away of cancer when I was 10yo.

You know to be honest with you, in the back of my mind I kind of wish I'd did this sooner. But you know what, looking back at my life it worked out really well, let me explain.

I've always liked females but at one time I wasn't as confident as I am now especially in high school. I was always a person that kept to himself it's not that I'm anti social or anything, it's just that I tread my own path and walk my own road. In high school the people around me always talked about their sexual escapades but even as a teen I didn't wanted to hit sexual disasters like they did: stds/relationship drama ect. I always was picky person always wanted more from sex, I guess you could say that the females in high school was not the females I wanted.

Fast forward now, I'm the type of person that loves information, that's why I like the internet so much. I'm a person that, over the years has become very confident in myself. Even though I haven't had sex as of yet, I consider myself sexually knowledgeable. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want in a woman. You could say that I'm like a person in training that always gets an A+ during the trainings and is really confident but has yet to be on the actual field.

 

p.s. sorry for the long reply.

 

 

 

[preraph]

You're going to have a hard time at 37 finding women who want to do those things you listed. The more likely scenario is they will go with you and the bring their kids to go do it. I think you're going to have a hard time finding grown women interested in that and you're too old to date women young enough to do that. 

But I suppose if that's what you like to do, that's going to be where you should look for those type of women except that most of the ones that will be there will be there for their children not for their own interests.

 

[observingman37]

9 minutes ago, preraph said:

You're going to have a hard time at 37 finding women who want to do those things you listed. The more likely scenario is they will go with you and the bring their kids to go do it. I think you're going to have a hard time finding grown women interested in that and you're too old to date women young enough to do that. 

But I suppose if that's what you like to do, that's going to be where you should look for those type of women except that most of the ones that will be there will be there for their children not for their own interests.

 

You may not be aware is the gaming community. This community is very diverse with people of all ages. So the out of date stereotype that video gaming of only for children, needs to be done away with.

[preraph]

then that's where you should go to meet people who are into it because there are still a whole lot of people who are not especially at that age. They have other things to do like raising families. 

[observingman37]

14 minutes ago, preraph said:

then that's where you should go to meet people who are into it because there are still a whole lot of people who are not especially at that age. They have other things to do like raising families. 

Well you can be a gemer and raise a family as well.

[preraph]

Hey, if that has been working for you and you're having no problem finding women to go out with do love to do those things, that's great! If you're doing online dating, just put those things on there and then ask out the next woman who tries to match with you. 

Edited May 23, 2020 by preraph

[observingman37]

3 minutes ago, preraph said:

Hey, if that has been working for you and you're having no problem finding women to go out with do love to do those things, that's great! If you're doing online dating, just put those things on there and then ask out the next woman who tries to match with you. 

that's a good idea.

thanks.

[Gr8fuln2020]

By the way, some of your recent posts, seem to indicate a tendency towards anti-social behavior. All this stuff about self-control simply is not supported by anything you have shared. None of it. You choose/chose not to associate with your peers, thus no friends. This is anti-social behavior. Why, that is another question and one you really need to work out. No car...again. Do you know how to drive? I read your posts and think that there are plenty of day-to-day issues that you have been dealing with your adult life that you are not sharing or ignoring. 

Now you are arguing that gamers can raise a family, too. Really? No kidding. Come on. But this just goes down the rabbit hole deeper. This leads me to believe that you have social anxieties that have prevented you from learning how to drive (perhaps), very limited contact and experience with women socially, etc. You are not expert in sex or relationship just because you watched WAY TOO MANY YOUTUBE videos on the subject. Until you have actually had social relationships, the REAL world, all those videos are nothing more than fantasy and a mixed bag of a lot of anything...You don't know what you are doing. Unless you have blow-up dolls to practice...even then, this is NOT " like a person in training that always gets an A+ during the trainings and is really confident but has yet to be on the actual field." 

How does approaching people in the gaming world change what you need to do?

Edited May 23, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020

[observingman37]

On 5/23/2020 at 3:25 PM, Gr8fuln2020 said:

By the way, some of your recent posts, seem to indicate a tendency towards anti-social behavior. All this stuff about self-control simply is not supported by anything you have shared. None of it. You choose/chose not to associate with your peers, thus no friends. This is anti-social behavior. Why, that is another question and one you really need to work out. No car...again. Do you know how to drive? I read your posts and think that there are plenty of day-to-day issues that you have been dealing with your adult life that you are not sharing or ignoring. 

Now you are arguing that gamers can raise a family, too. Really? No kidding. Come on. But this just goes down the rabbit hole deeper. This leads me to believe that you have social anxieties that have prevented you from learning how to drive (perhaps), very limited contact and experience with women socially, etc. You are not expert in sex or relationship just because you watched WAY TOO MANY YOUTUBE videos on the subject. Until you have actually had social relationships, the REAL world, all those videos are nothing more than fantasy and a mixed bag of a lot of anything...You don't know what you are doing. Unless you have blow-up dolls to practice...even then, this is NOT " like a person in training that always gets an A+ during the trainings and is really confident but has yet to be on the actual field." 

 

Why do you still think that I'm anti social? I did associate and still do associate with my peers. This has been a choice, I've be offered by females before and I could have initiated, but I chose not to.

and once again even if I have other things that I need to tweak and work on in my own life, what does that has to do with and how does that stop a woman from just being my companion?

Edited May 25, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Yosemite]

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

I've always liked females but at one time I wasn't as confident as I am now especially in high school. I was always a person that kept to himself it's not that I'm anti social or anything, it's just that I tread my own path and walk my own road.

What happened in the 2 decades after high school? Why didn't you date during that time?

You need to develop interests outside of video games because right now it seems like you very much fit into the video game addict stereotype which makes you undateable. No job, virgin, no friends, never dated, middle aged and living with mom, and unrealistic dating expectations. You need to work on each of those and make them not true (except the virginity). A good start would be to ditch video games until you get your life in order.

You're starting at ground zero at age 37. I'm guessing that you don't have a degree...consider getting one. If you had a car, you could at least drive for Uber/Lyft while you get a degree. Do you have credit? You need to get that going too, but how can you without a job? Once you get your life in order (job, apartment, car, credit) you can then focus on getting different interests (hiking, motorcycles, scuba diving, traveling, or whatever interests you) and with those interests you can meet a potential girlfriend (if you have social skills.)

PS You shouldn't refer to women as females.

Edited May 23, 2020 by Yosemite

[preraph]

It's just important to remember that the more diverse you are and the more interest you have, the more experience you have in anything whether it be employment or school or dating, the bigger the field women will be who would be possibly interested in you. So it's always important to keep branching out and learning new things, reading on different subjects to self educate, and doing new hobbies and starting new projects and achieving your goals keeping a career going because it simply makes you a more interesting person. 

 

The more limited you are in your scope of interests and experiences, the smaller the group of both women and friends you will be compatible with. You need to learn to be flexible and diversify. and yes women do think it's weird if you don't have a driver's license and a drive. If there's one thing we've learned during the pandemic, it's that we don't want to be stuck having to ride on the subways and public transportation.

[observingman37]

10 minutes ago, Yosemite said:

What happened in the 2 decades after high school? Why didn't you date during that time?

You need to develop interests outside of video games because right now it seems like you very much fit into the video game addict stereotype which makes you undateable. No job, virgin, no friends, never dated, middle aged and living with mom, and unrealistic dating expectations. You need to work on each of those and make them not true. A good start would be to ditch video games until you get your life in order.

You're starting at ground zero at age 37. I'm guessing that you don't have a degree...consider getting one. If you had a car, you could at least drive for Uber/

Lyft while you get a degree. Do you have credit? You need to get that going too, but how can you without a job? Once you get your life in order (job, apartment, car, credit) you can then focus on getting different interests (hiking, motorcycles, scuba diving, traveling, or whatever interests you) and with those interests you can meet a potential girlfriend (if you have social skills.)

PS You shouldn't refer to women as females.

Well before I began I just want to say, please don't make assumptions. I'm already dealing with another person that's doing that. 

 

After high school I still had some discouragements with the things I was seeing around me, personal relationship disasters of people, divorces, sti's, legal troubles. I would be a fool to to have all of that stuff on me just because I wanted to have sex. So I just had patience and self control for these past years. 

I do have interests outside of video games.

So basically what you can just say is that I had high standards for what my relationship would be, but the women that was around me did not match that. But what I would tell you now at 37yo I that I have decided to let up on some of the criterias. The only things that still a must is that obviously she's white, she doesn't drink and she at least has to believe in God.

The only reason I said females is because in high school we wasn't adults. So I could've said girls.

[observingman37]

9 minutes ago, preraph said:

It's just important to remember that the more diverse you are and the more interest you have, the more experience you have in anything whether it be employment or school or dating, the bigger the field women will be who would be possibly interested in you. So it's always important to keep branching out and learning new things, reading on different subjects to self educate, and doing new hobbies and starting new projects and achieving your goals keeping a career going because it simply makes you a more interesting person. 

 

The more limited you are in your scope of interests and experiences, the smaller the group of both women and friends you will be compatible with. You need to learn to be flexible and diversify. and yes women do think it's weird if you don't have a driver's license and a drive. If there's one thing we've learned during the pandemic, it's that we don't want to be stuck having to ride on the subways and public transportation.

Thanks for the advice.

But I also believe that you do not have to do everything in the world just to have a woman.

Yes, there are some things that I have to tweak and work on in my own life, but that should not have nothing to do with her and just being my companion.

[preraph]

Women have certain qualifications for men. Pretty basic ones. You don't have to turn yourself inside-out for 1 but I'm just saying the broader your interests and abilities are, the more people will be interested in you as a person. 

[observingman37]

12 minutes ago, preraph said:

Women have certain qualifications for men. Pretty basic ones. You don't have to turn yourself inside-out for 1 but I'm just saying the broader your interests and abilities are, the more people will be interested in you as a person. 

thanks.

[Gr8fuln2020]

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

Your reply comes with assumptions, a whole lot of nothing and discouragements. So if those are going to be your replys then this is the last time I'm going to reply to you.

Why do you still think that I'm anti social? I did associate and still do associate with my peers. This has been a choice, I've be offered by females before and I could have initiated, but I chose not to.

and once again even if I have other things that I need to tweak and work on in my own life, what does that has to do with and how does that stop a woman from just being my companion?

Whether you respond or not has always been your choice. I am going on YOUR posts. 

Your last question is naive and again, indicates someone who has social anxieties or limitation that you need to work on. Do you hear yourself? What you bring to the table, in so many ways, ALWAYS has everything to do with someone wanting to be your companion. 

1. Get well, and get a job.

2. Get some reliable transportation so that you can be more independent and flexible.

3. We have gone from negotiable moral qualities to now looking for a companion in the gaming community. You really need to know what it is and HOW it is you propose to move beyond where you are now to what you hope to accomplish. 

4. Watching videos, likely too many, about sex, relationships is not living or having experience. 

Good luck.  

[Miss Spider]

I agree with all the advice that's been given except maybe for one thing. If you can attract women, generate interest from them, and most importantly, just sustain your life without the institution of work, I don't think you should change that. I actually think you should tell us your secret 

Edited May 24, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[observingman37]

38 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I agree with all the advice that's been given except maybe for one thing. If you can attract women, generate interest from them, and most importantly, just sustain your life without the institution of work, I don't think you should change that. I actually think you should tell us your secret 

I never said we don't need the institution of work.

Of course we need work to sustain ourselves and be productive.

What does that have to do with anything?

[Miss Spider]

I thought you weren't working ? That was the reference... 

Edited May 24, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[observingman37]

49 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I thought you weren't working ? That was the reference... 

I'm not working at the moment.

But the reply is the same, I never said we don't need the institution of work.

[5x5]

8 hours ago, observingman37 said:

and once again even if I have other things that I need to tweak and work on in my own life, what does that has to do with and how does that stop a woman from just being my companion?

It has a lot to do with stopping a woman being your companion.

Dating a white woman or any other type of woman, isn't just about you and what you can get out of it.

Seriously if you have nothing to offer especially at your age, in terms of social experience (since you have few friends etc), no employment, money?, lack personal transportation (do you own a bicycle) and a myriad of other thing. What makes you think any woman will want to keep dating you, let alone marry you.

Likewise most women really do like sex and physical intimacy. So how can you offer them that kind of thing going forward, when it is evident you aren't especially desirous of sex since you have chosen not to go there through to the age of 37. Have you even ever had banter with women, kissed any passionately, held hands, fondled and stroked them?

At the end of the day with no job, no relationship experience, no friends sans some relatives, how on earth do you think any women will find that appealing?

I really do wish you luck, yet there's little point in ignoring the banner parade of red flags that you represent, to women who are seeking sexual relationship partners.

 

Edited May 24, 2020 by 5x5

[observingman37]

I just wanted to touch on something real quick.

It seems that some of the replys seems to be implying that I have to "buy" a woman with my social status.

Social status shouldn't be a factor in just getting a physical human companion. It should be how positive is the person personality and their outlook on life that should be the real factor.

If I really have to "pay" for her to simply be a physical companion, then she's no different than a prostitute, you have to pay for her too.

I have a moral standard and I'm not going to betray that.

You shouldn't have to pay anything for a woman to just be your physical human companion.

Society has really made the natural physical relationship between a man and a woman complicated.

man and woman relationship should for the most part be natural.

[5x5]

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

I just wanted to touch on something real quick.

It seems that some of the replys seems to be implying that I have to "buy" a woman with my social status.

You are mistaken, since they aren't.

It is a condition of all primates that the ones with better social skills, are more successful with their fellow primates than the ones with lesser social skills.

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

Social status shouldn't be a factor in just getting a physical human companion. It should be how positive is the person personality and their outlook on life that should be the real factor.

You are evidently missing the point since it isn't all about social status, yet it is about social skills in a very big way, which do have an input into social status.

How do you think you will go attempting to wax lyrical, charm, apply some wit, have some banter, flirt and read social cues, when you have shared that you tend towards being anti-social and not having friends?

As to outlooks on life, let us not pretend that you have any idea how positive you will be in any sexual relationship. When you have avoided platonic relationships and haven't even dated anyone romantically as well.

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

If I really have to "pay" for her to simply be a physical companion, then she's no different than a prostitute, you have to pay for her too.

I have a moral standard and I'm not going to betray that.

Why would you have to "pay" for her? You haven't been given such advice here.

Humans are complex social animals, courting someone involves a myriad of nuanced social interactions.

The fact that the experienced people here are telling you that to have any success, it would help to have financial resources and to have a job. Is because it is a tall order for a man to expect a woman to pay for all of his dates with her.

Surely you can't be this naive, if you have no job how can you buy a woman a coffee and cake while you chat after going for a walk after she paid  for your lunch the day before? What do you think dating will look like for you, if you won't pay for some things along the way like coffee, a gift of a book,  a turn on a game in an arcade, dinner sometimes?

In my experience of dating, sometimes I paid for things, sometimes the woman paid for things and on other occasions we would put our money together, so that we could all have fun doing things like going to the theatre, music concerts, galleries, cafes and a myriad of other activities.

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

You shouldn't have to pay anything for a woman to just be your physical human companion.

So how does that work going forward, do you both just hang out together till you both starve to death, or does she go out and work in order to pay for your accommodation, clothing and food?

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

Society has really made the natural physical relationship between a man and a woman complicated.

The society you disparage, is simply the natural consequence of human behaviour.

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

man and woman relationship should for the most part be natural.

They are, since we can't help but be that way.

That said at the end of the day you can tilt at windmills to no end all you like, yet that isn't going to change the reality of the world in which you live.

You would do well to appreciate that the world isn't fair, it isn't a sheltered workshop and you are not entitled to anything from any women at all.

If you want to date successfully you would do well to understand, that what you bring to the table matters just as much as what a woman brings to the table.

Edited May 24, 2020 by 5x5

[Yosemite]

9 hours ago, observingman37 said:

But what I would tell you now at 37yo I that I have decided to let up on some of the criterias. The only things that still a must is that obviously she's white, she doesn't drink and she at least has to believe in God.

 

You should keep a journal where you track your goals...maybe you can try bullet journaling. Use the journal to make sure that you're doing something toward your goals daily.

As far as video games and watching YouTube videos, keep track of how much time you spend on each of those next week and then reduce it by a half hour every week. There's a book called Tiny habits, the small habits that change everything by BJ Fogg. It might help you stop playing video games and build better habits so that you can make yourself more eligible to date.

9 hours ago, observingman37 said:

I do have interests outside of video games.

Like what?

Make one of your goals to participate in these interests at least once a week. It's a little tough right now because of the coronavirus and your lack of employment, but once things open up and you're employed, be ready to participate in group activities on a regular basis.