How can I date white women.

[Gr8fuln2020]

4 hours ago, observingman37 said:

For #1, like I mentioned, because I simply didn't want to, I just preferred to keep to myself.
For #2, I'm not employed right now and I never had a car. I've always catch buses and now lyfts.
For #5, once again that is simply my preference there is no deep reason. It's just that opposites attract, that's it.
I really hope that your are not trying to set me up for a tirade of judgements, because I just told you where exactly I'm coming from. I hope you were listening.

Just curious. And we are all judgmental as your preferences indicate. I just find it hard to believe you don't see that your problems are more complex than just your morals. This notion that opposites attract is an over-used idea that is typically not as accurate in relationships. Unless you are magnets, not so true. Besides, a black person liking a white person is not the attraction of two opposites. Again, not talking about magnets here. Good luck. You need to get a job, reliable transportation, and work out why you have waited until 37 to date. 

[Miss Spider]

I mean not literally, but I’ve never heard it used literally. Just means that differences between people can actually draw them together and create a curiosity and attraction.  I’ve also heard some couples say the sexiest thing about their partner was the  extreme contrast of their skin against their partners skin against theirs when making love . I think that’s p hot.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Gr8fuln2020]

Just now, Cookiesandough said:

...also heard some couples say the sexiest thing about their partner was the  extreme contrast of their skin against their partners skin against theirs when making love . I think that’s p hot.

My incredibly fair and gorgeous second wife often commented on this.  But, as a fundamental, long-term criterium for a healthy relationship, it typically reveals itself as incompatibility. 

[observingman37]

38 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Just curious. And we are all judgmental as your preferences indicate. I just find it hard to believe you don't see that your problems are more complex than just your morals. This notion that opposites attract is an over-used idea that is typically not as accurate in relationships. Unless you are magnets, not so true. Besides, a black person liking a white person is not the attraction of two opposites. Again, not talking about magnets here. Good luck. You need to get a job, reliable transportation, and work out why you have waited until 37 to date. 

I know I need to get employed. I know it's good to have a car of my own [even though lyft has been very reliable]. Now tell me, what does that have to do with a woman being my companion?

I don't have to work anything out about me waiting until 37 to date. I wanted to and It's it's called self control.

Believe me, me wanting a white woman is not complicated as you're trying to say.

I'm not being mean or anything I'm telling you were I'm coming from. 

 

[Gr8fuln2020]

23 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

I know I need to get employed. I know it's good to have a car of my own [even though lyft has been very reliable]. Now tell me, what does that have to do with a woman being my companion?

I don't have to work anything out about me waiting until 37 to date. I wanted to and It's it's called self control.

Believe me, me wanting a white woman is not complicated as you're trying to say.

I'm not being mean or anything I'm telling you were I'm coming from. 

Ok. Good luck. Sounds like you have it all worked out. Now get to it!

[Backinthesaddleagain]

Waiting until you are 37 to date is not a display of self-control. It is a huge red flag. Dating isn't about being promiscuous, its more about practicing dating and social/relationship skills. You learn a lot about yourself as you date. Based on your posts, I think you are going to have a harder time than most to find what you are looking for. As a matter of fact, you might be waiting forever. 

But look at Siegfried and Roy. If 2 gay lion tamers can find each other, there is hope for you yet! 

Good luck

[observingman37]

25 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Waiting until you are 37 to date is not a display of self-control. It is a huge red flag. Dating isn't about being promiscuous, its more about practicing dating and social/relationship skills. You learn a lot about yourself as you date. Based on your posts, I think you are going to have a harder time than most to find what you are looking for. As a matter of fact, you might be waiting forever. 

But look at Siegfried and Roy. If 2 gay lion tamers can find each other, there is hope for you yet! 

Good luck

So what so called red flag do you think I have?

Honestly, I'm having a hard time discerning whether your post was an insult or serious?

[Realitysux]

1 minute ago, observingman37 said:

So what so called red flag do you think I have?

Honestly, I'm having a hard time discerning whether your post was an insult or serious?

I'm a 37 year old female and I haven't dated in a decade .. I am not worried  .. I'm almost certain I can go up and ask a man out right now if I wanted too .. I'm white too

[observingman37]

19 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

I'm a 37 year old female and I haven't dated in a decade .. I am not worried  .. I'm almost certain I can go up and ask a man out right now if I wanted too .. I'm white too

Sorry about that I got confused on the user ha ha.

Thanks for the reply.

Edited May 22, 2020 by observingman37

[Realitysux]

2 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

you didn't answer my question, but oh well.

There are no red flags. Many people do not have a lot of dating experience behind them. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Realitysux

[observingman37]

16 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

There are no red flags. Many people do not have a lot of dating experience behind them. 

Yeah sorry about that, I confused you with other user.

ha ha.

 

 Thanks for the reply.

Edited May 22, 2020 by observingman37

[Backinthesaddleagain]

7 minutes ago, observingman37 said:

So what so called red flag do you think I have?

Honestly, I'm having a hard time discerning whether your post was an insult or serious?

Not an insult at all. Just that its like someone that says they have never ridden a skateboard, and then coming here and asking us where the best place is to skateboard- with the pre-requisite that the skate park must meet certain requirements. It's not a skill that we can teach you by talking about it. Its one of those things that takes time, commitment, and practice. We as human beings are social and physical creatures, and to avoid that part of your existence for 37 years is not only abnormal, but throws a red flag. I don't know how else to say it. I would never date someone who is my age and never had a relationship or sex before. Shoot, I am leary of dating women my age with no children, it's another red flag. 

What kind of red flag is it? Well, it shows a number of things which may or may not be valid. Here are a list of some reasons why it could be a red flag:

The person has commitment issues

The person has intimacy issues

The person has a history of family problems

The person has a history of physical/mental abuse

The person has mental health issues

The person has addiction problems

The person is wrapped up in some strange cult

The person has unrealistic standards

 

I'm not saying any of these apply to you, but they are some things that people will think about when they hear that you have been living a life of solitude for almost 4 decades. The Siegfried and Roy comment was meant more as a joke, but it still gives me hope someone is out there for me too. lol 

The question I have is why have you chosen now as the time to dive in the pool? 

5 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

I'm a 37 year old female and I haven't dated in a decade .. I am not worried  .. I'm almost certain I can go up and ask a man out right now if I wanted too .. I'm white too

There is a difference between taking an extended break, and having never dated before. Also, easily getting dates as a white woman isn't the same for men, regardless of color. Let's live in reality, even if it does sux.

[Realitysux]

1 hour ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Not an insult at all. Just that its like someone that says they have never ridden a skateboard, and then coming here and asking us where the best place is to skateboard- with the pre-requisite that the skate park must meet certain requirements. It's not a skill that we can teach you by talking about it. Its one of those things that takes time, commitment, and practice. We as human beings are social and physical creatures, and to avoid that part of your existence for 37 years is not only abnormal, but throws a red flag. I don't know how else to say it. I would never date someone who is my age and never had a relationship or sex before. Shoot, I am leary of dating women my age with no children, it's another red flag. 

What kind of red flag is it? Well, it shows a number of things which may or may not be valid. Here are a list of some reasons why it could be a red flag:

The person has commitment issues

The person has intimacy issues

The person has a history of family problems

The person has a history of physical/mental abuse

The person has mental health issues

The person has addiction problems

The person is wrapped up in some strange cult

The person has unrealistic standards

 

I'm not saying any of these apply to you, but they are some things that people will think about when they hear that you have been living a life of solitude for almost 4 decades. The Siegfried and Roy comment was meant more as a joke, but it still gives me hope someone is out there for me too. lol 

The question I have is why have you chosen now as the time to dive in the pool? 

There is a difference between taking an extended break, and having never dated before. Also, easily getting dates as a white woman isn't the same for men, regardless of color. Let's live in reality, even if it does sux.

The last date I had was in 2013. We went for dinner and had a few months fling. I met him on Facebook actually. Then a lot happened in my life and a lot of instability. A lot of family problems. There was one man and he strung me along but I'm doing much better now  I'm in a better place to date but not a lot of options with everything thsts going on. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Realitysux

[observingman37]

5 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Not an insult at all. Just that its like someone that says they have never ridden a skateboard, and then coming here and asking us where the best place is to skateboard- with the pre-requisite that the skate park must meet certain requirements. It's not a skill that we can teach you by talking about it. Its one of those things that takes time, commitment, and practice. We as human beings are social and physical creatures, and to avoid that part of your existence for 37 years is not only abnormal, but throws a red flag. I don't know how else to say it. I would never date someone who is my age and never had a relationship or sex before. Shoot, I am leary of dating women my age with no children, it's another red flag. 

What kind of red flag is it? Well, it shows a number of things which may or may not be valid. Here are a list of some reasons why it could be a red flag:

The person has commitment issues

The person has intimacy issues

The person has a history of family problems

The person has a history of physical/mental abuse

The person has mental health issues

The person has addiction problems

The person is wrapped up in some strange cult

The person has unrealistic standards

 

I'm not saying any of these apply to you, but they are some things that people will think about when they hear that you have been living a life of solitude for almost 4 decades. The Siegfried and Roy comment was meant more as a joke, but it still gives me hope someone is out there for me too. lol 

The question I have is why have you chosen now as the time to dive in the pool? 

There is a difference between taking an extended break, and having never dated before. Also, easily getting dates as a white woman isn't the same for men, regardless of color. Let's live in reality, even if it does sux.

Riding a skateboard and dating are two different things.

You mentioned having sex before. If you were listening I said that I'm never having sex before marriage.

So I you thought that the list doesn't apply to me [which it doesn't] then why did you even list them in the first place?

You have to understand I wasn't in "solitude" all this time. This is something that I've chosen. So at 37yo I simply choose to start looking.

Edited May 23, 2020 by observingman37

[rjc149]

Have you been looking all this time? Or, is this something you’re recently getting serious about?

[Interstellar]

Well social distancing permitting, hang out at Sephora or go to a John Mayer or Zac Brown band concert, or a Trump rally. And that just got progressively worse , haha.

Edited May 23, 2020 by Interstellar

[stillafool]

Probably the first step to getting the woman you want is to get a car.  You have to travel to see one and take her out.

[simpycurious]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Probably the first step to getting the woman you want is to get a car.  You have to travel to see one and take her out.

A car would help....I would suggest a Porsche although they do not get good gas mileage. Ten years is a LONG break, I sure hope you have lots of hobbies to past the time with.

[contel3]

I actually just googled baha'i matrimonial....there's some white ladies on there. I have no idea how to find someone meeting all your criteria locally though.

[observingman37]

11 hours ago, rjc149 said:

Have you been looking all this time? Or, is this something you’re recently getting serious about?

I've recently gotten serious about it.

[observingman37]

10 hours ago, Interstellar said:

Well social distancing permitting, hang out at Sephora or go to a John Mayer or Zac Brown band concert, or a Trump rally. And that just got progressively worse , haha.

Well I don't really do concerts and I don't want a woman at random. That's why I'm trying to narrow it down on dating sites.

[observingman37]

1 hour ago, contel3 said:

I actually just googled baha'i matrimonial....there's some white ladies on there. I have no idea how to find someone meeting all your criteria locally though.

Thanks.

[observingman37]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Probably the first step to getting the woman you want is to get a car.  You have to travel to see one and take her out.

I know would be real helpful if I had a car of my own. But Lyft has been really reliable.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, observingman37 said:

Well I don't really do concerts and I don't want a woman at random. That's why I'm trying to narrow it down on dating sites.

What type of activities do you like?  What would be a good date to you?

[Yosemite]

How long have you been unemployed?

Do you have friends?

Do you live with your parents?

Why didn't you want to date until now? This board is anonymous, so why not post the reason? OK, you wanted to wait, but why? To prove that you could? You didn't have desires? You were shy? You're a loner? You were a video game addict? Why?