No contact for a week, shall I reach out?

[simpycurious]

14 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Yeh when i would call him for example or text him. He would be the man in a sense and engage with me more and try to progress  things. 

But otherwise he wont reach out. 

I guess me appearing again 2 months later. Hes like 🙄🤨. Hence the ignoring. 

His loss Miranda...........HIS LOSS

 

Edited June 4, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[miranda561]

50 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

miranda, it's okay to be slow to open up, me too!

But that doesn't mean acting indifferently or elusively, or being slow to respond to texts if at all.

Do you mean slow to show your interest and feelings?  Cause yeah, that will be a problem typically leading to only those men looking for a  challenge/chase to pursue you. 

And guess what?  Men who enjoy the chase usually end up being d-bags because they're only interested in the chase!  Not the girl.    Generally speaking.  

If you want to attract a good guy, begin by being "good" yourself meaning show some excitement and interest, be responsive to him.  Answer texts in a timely manner, express some enthusiasm when he asks you out.

Don't overdo it, find the right balance that works for you.  

Challenge yourself to try, stretch your emotional muscles, step out of your comfort zone.  

That is how we learn, grow and evolve. 

 

 

Well i could certainly  learn from you since you are in a commitment. Which is proof you know what youre talking about.

I hope he doesn't find someone else and reconsider . As stupid as that is 😯

[poppyfields]

miranda, you cannot expect a man to "jump" when you decide you're ready to move forward. 

A good quality guy will be like "f*ck that" as it reflects a somewhat entitled attitude.  And eventually do what this last guy did. 

On the other hand, a d-baggy type guy might go for it because he likes the challenge you present and the chase.

It's really no wonder you attract so many d-baggy guys. Sorry. 

The good news is you're beginning to recognize your behavior and can make changes!  And start attracting good quality guys versus these  d-baggy players you attract. 

[miranda561]

19 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

miranda, you cannot expect a man to "jump" when you decide you're ready to move forward. 

A good quality guy will be like "f*ck that" as it reflects a somewhat entitled attitude.  And eventually do what this last guy did. 

On the other hand, a d-baggy type guy might go for it because he likes the challenge you present and the chase.

It's really no wonder you attract so many d-baggy guys. Sorry. 

The good news is you're beginning to recognize your behavior and can make changes!  And start attracting good quality guys versus these  d-baggy players you attract. 

😯 its so coincidental  you used the word entitled. 

He once used that word for me 😂. When i blocked him ages ago and came back. He said he deleted my number. He said what makes you so entitled to remain in my contacts after you left. Some thing  along those lines 

I forget he has feelings too. He acts  so aloof sometimes. At the start  he was rushing me...but i think he realised  i wasnt going to be that  fast paced. Im an earth sign dammit 😂

In my humble opinion its best to go slow than to rush into things. 

But as simpy said its his loss at the end of the day if he decides to cut his losses

[miranda561]

Ok so update:

I know  a lot of you know the story but ill just say what happened recently for those who dont..and read the first page if you want to know the back story 😂

So 2 months ago now spoke to the guy for a few hours on the phone. And before then because i hadn't reached out to him in so long (just over a month), he kept asking what id been doing and where  i was ..he then said he thought i deleted his number and moved on from him. That was the theory in his mind. And when  it didnt work out with the "other person" he thinks i came back to him. I reassured him that there wasnt anyone else. ( i was just bad at keeping contact). 

Anyway during the convo he asked if i want to see him/meet him..i said i don't mind..and he then said cool send me another pic then. 

Following that convo i didnt send a photo simply out of principle. He already has one. Nor did i mention the meeting which he asked about  in such a weird way. 

Two weeks went by i sent a gif showing im bored..he then messaged with "you bored ?" Literally neither of us contacted the other after that for like five weeks. 😳😱

Then about a week ago now i was like 😯 thinking so much time has gone by and decided to message him. Saying...how has nearly 2 months gone by since i last spoke to you..and you must hate me. Followed by shocked emojis.

Needless to say he didnt  respond AT ALL. Complete silence. I saw he read it pretty quick within half n hour of me sending it. He came online and read the messages. But nothing 

So what i was going to do was call him.. is it a good idea? Or should  i leave  it? And if calling is a good idea wth do i  even  say to rectify  the situation...where  do i start.. 😢.  Provided he doesnt ignore my call too. 

I am genuinely think i may miss out unless i do something ( and will probably be regretful) But is it too late.?.. 

P.s i know im an amateur  and terrible at this dating stuff 

 

Edited June 9, 2020 by miranda561

[chillii]

Don't worry amateur's good , who on Gods earth would want to be a professional dater like many round here,

Anyway my 2 cents , if you want to then do it, no pain no glory. Might blow up again might not but at least you'll know,

[Weezy1973]

@miranda561 I’m pretty sure you don’t mean it to be this way, but from your actions it seems like you’re playing games with this guy. Hot and cold. And just communicating to him in an honest, straightforward manner seems really difficult for you for some reason.

If you read back your update post above, can you see why he might feel like you’re playing games with him?

[miranda561]

2 hours ago, chillii said:

Don't worry amateur's good , who on Gods earth would want to be a professional dater like many round here,

Anyway my 2 cents , if you want to then do it, no pain no glory. Might blow up again might not but at least you'll know,

Thanks.

Yeh as in he may press ignore😪. Its weird if he does that as I've come back speaking to him before after a period of not talking😪 n its been fine 

Edited June 9, 2020 by miranda561

[miranda561]

1 hour ago, Weezy1973 said:

@miranda561 I’m pretty sure you don’t mean it to be this way, but from your actions it seems like you’re playing games with this guy. Hot and cold. And just communicating to him in an honest, straightforward manner seems really difficult for you for some reason.

If you read back your update post above, can you see why he might feel like you’re playing games with him?

🤔 possibly 

But i mean theres times i get busy n wrapped up in my own things! He takes That the wrong way im guessing. 

Are there people who play games this long? 😂

[Realitysux]

26 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

🤔 possibly 

But i mean theres times i get busy n wrapped up in my own things! He takes That the wrong way im guessing. 

Are there people who play games this long? 😂

Do you like this guy? How much and why? Do you want to date this particular man because it doesn't seem like you do. There doesn't seem to have been any flirting or anything that would have encouraged him. I wouldn't have asked if he hated you. 

I would text him a very flirty and forward message "hey sexy, I can't stop thinking about you, do you want to meet up" try to talk in person and use texts and phone calls to move the connection forward. 

[miranda561]

2 hours ago, Realitysux said:

Do you like this guy? How much and why? Do you want to date this particular man because it doesn't seem like you do. There doesn't seem to have been any flirting or anything that would have encouraged him. I wouldn't have asked if he hated you. 

I would text him a very flirty and forward message "hey sexy, I can't stop thinking about you, do you want to meet up" try to talk in person and use texts and phone calls to move the connection forward. 

 thats good  advice but I've never even flirted with him once. My texts give off either a friendly vibe or a cool standoffish one😂. 

I think you hit the nail on the head because i think that's  exactly what he would have wanted from me all along..to move it forward. But i think I've been hot n cold n childish..thats how he will see it 

Its weird but he always came back to speaking to me regardless of alll that. But now its total silence...😶😶😶🤐🤐🤐

And to answer your question do  i like him..i think hes a catch. N hes someone who wont be short of options. Also if nothing materialises from this i will have lost out big time. (Even my friend read my messages and his a while back..and was like what are you doing..don't let the guy go)

 

Edited June 9, 2020 by miranda561

[Weezy1973]

@miranda561 are you afraid? Like afraid o being rejected? Or him not being interested once he gets to know you?

 

That might explain your hot and cold behavior. You’re testing him so to speak. 

[Realitysux]

44 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

 thats good  advice but I've never even flirted with him once. My texts give off either a friendly vibe or a cool standoffish one😂. 

I think you hit the nail on the head because i think that's  exactly what he would have wanted from me all along..to move it forward. But i think I've been hot n cold n childish..thats how he will see it 

Its weird but he always came back to speaking to me regardless of alll that. But now its total silence...😶😶😶🤐🤐🤐

And to answer your question do  i like him..i think hes a catch. N hes someone who wont be short of options. Also if nothing materialises from this i will have lost out big time. (Even my friend read my messages and his a while back..and was like what are you doing..don't let the guy go)

 

Change your behavior and show him more maturity. If it's too late then accept it and move on. 

[miranda561]

11 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

@miranda561 are you afraid? Like afraid o being rejected? Or him not being interested once he gets to know you?

 

That might explain your hot and cold behavior. You’re testing him so to speak. 

🤔 i wouldnt say afraid. May be  careful

Hes actually hot n cold now..well actually just cold. Hes just weird he wont reply to messages..only to calls. 

I guess that goes with the theme of him not wanting to just be my "texting friend". Which he said from the beginning. But still its rude of him not messaging back

Edited June 9, 2020 by miranda561

[Weezy1973]

I think you’re going to have to be clear and straightforward with your communication to him. And don’t worry if he ends up not being interested- you can’t control that.

[miranda561]

25 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

I think you’re going to have to be clear and straightforward with your communication to him. And don’t worry if he ends up not being interested- you can’t control that.

Yeah ok cool. 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

The harsh truth? You won't like this but here goes:

He probably saw your message, and rolled his eyes, thinking, "Man, this chick again??"  It isn't rude of him to not message back, considering you have been guilty of the same thing. So, you need to jump down off that high horse, girl. He knows it's a waste of time to reply to you, since all you do is run and hide. 

Sorry, Miranda. You need to leave him alone. Take back your dignity and stop contacting him. Learn from this so you present yourself with more maturity and consideration with the next guy. 

[miranda561]

25 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

The harsh truth? You won't like this but here goes:

He probably saw your message, and rolled his eyes, thinking, "Man, this chick again??"  It isn't rude of him to not message back, considering you have been guilty of the same thing. So, you need to jump down off that high horse, girl. He knows it's a waste of time to reply to you, since all you do is run and hide. 

Sorry, Miranda. You need to leave him alone. Take back your dignity and stop contacting him. Learn from this so you present yourself with more maturity and consideration with the next guy. 

Sad times

[miranda561]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

The harsh truth? You won't like this but here goes:

He probably saw your message, and rolled his eyes, thinking, "Man, this chick again??"  It isn't rude of him to not message back, considering you have been guilty of the same thing. So, you need to jump down off that high horse, girl. He knows it's a waste of time to reply to you, since all you do is run and hide. 

Sorry, Miranda. You need to leave him alone. Take back your dignity and stop contacting him. Learn from this so you present yourself with more maturity and consideration with the next guy. 

Excuse me but I've got my dignity in tact. 

The whole issue from the beginning was that  i didnt call him enough, if ever. 

And i never run after anyone, ever. Obviously all this time he was going along with it and was fine. 

But yeh just had to clarify that.

[Realitysux]

5 hours ago, miranda561 said:

Sad times

Guys loose interest. It takes a lot more to build a solid relationship then what you guys have done and unfortunately, while you were on here and not doing anything, he could have found someone else. You will not know unless you contact him. If someone says to me no, or let go, and move on then I don't generally think about it as much as you are so what do you have to risk by calling the guy. I'm relatively new to the city and I always said I wouldn't really date until I build a network with other female friends, cause not everyone clicks. People fade out, ghost , ignore and then when that happens then it is a lot more helpful to text one of your female friends and get over it. That's just my thinking. Men aren't emotional and they just tell you to move on. If you ask a man for advice they will just tell you the guys a dick move on. 

Edited June 9, 2020 by Realitysux

[miranda561]

37 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

Guys loose interest. It takes a lot more to build a solid relationship then what you guys have done and unfortunately, while you were on here and not doing anything, he could have found someone else. You will not know unless you contact him. If someone says to me no, or let go, and move on then I don't generally think about it as much as you are so what do you have to risk by calling the guy. I'm relatively new to the city and I always said I wouldn't really date until I build a network with other female friends, cause not everyone clicks. People fade out, ghost , ignore and then when that happens then it is a lot more helpful to text one of your female friends and get over it. That's just my thinking. Men aren't emotional and they just tell you to move on. If you ask a man for advice they will just tell you the guys a dick move on. 

Yeh youre right!

I think why he would find it "easier"..is probably because i haven't given him much whether it be company or attention or anything. I've just been the one receiving it. 

But i think all this time he's been on talking terms with me and made effort ( regardless of how i  acted)..so if he started  to ignore my calls too it would be like 😱. Ok its over now. 

Its just  weird because it was literally not even that  long ago he asked  about meeting up..so it would just be weird if he found another all of a sudden.

But yeh as you said guys value logic over emotion.

Apparently they move on physically first before emotionally...just overall. So  they'll leave the girl..then later be like 😱 what did i do.

Not that im saying that will happen here 😂. 

 

[miranda561]

45 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

Guys loose interest. It takes a lot more to build a solid relationship then what you guys have done and unfortunately, while you were on here and not doing anything, he could have found someone else. You will not know unless you contact him. If someone says to me no, or let go, and move on then I don't generally think about it as much as you are so what do you have to risk by calling the guy. I'm relatively new to the city and I always said I wouldn't really date until I build a network with other female friends, cause not everyone clicks. People fade out, ghost , ignore and then when that happens then it is a lot more helpful to text one of your female friends and get over it. That's just my thinking. Men aren't emotional and they just tell you to move on. If you ask a man for advice they will just tell you the guys a dick move on. 

Guess i have  to call n find out..😂🤔. N try my best to be  honest instead of my standoffish ( i dont care  about you) self. 😂

[miranda561]

47 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

Guys loose interest. It takes a lot more to build a solid relationship then what you guys have done and unfortunately, while you were on here and not doing anything, he could have found someone else. You will not know unless you contact him. If someone says to me no, or let go, and move on then I don't generally think about it as much as you are so what do you have to risk by calling the guy. I'm relatively new to the city and I always said I wouldn't really date until I build a network with other female friends, cause not everyone clicks. People fade out, ghost , ignore and then when that happens then it is a lot more helpful to text one of your female friends and get over it. That's just my thinking. Men aren't emotional and they just tell you to move on. If you ask a man for advice they will just tell you the guys a dick move on. 

Omg thanks for the advice😁

[ExpatInItaly]

18 hours ago, miranda561 said:

Excuse me but I've got my dignity in tact. 

The whole issue from the beginning was that  i didnt call him enough, if ever. 

And i never run after anyone, ever. Obviously all this time he was going along with it and was fine. 

But yeh just had to clarify that.

It doesn't look that way when you continue to reach out to him. 

Instead, it looks like you have no other options so you go fishing from him again. I'm not saying that is the case, to be clear, but you're making yourself look a bit desperate and annoying. The impression you're creating to him is not attractive. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[miranda561]

18 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It doesn't look that way when you continue to reach out to him. 

Instead, it looks like you have no other options so you go fishing from him again. I'm not saying that is the case, to be clear, but you're making yourself look a bit desperate. The impression you're creating to him is not attractive. 

I reach out to him ONLY because hes been INTERESTED  for a long time and is always POSITIVE when i do contact him. ( only reason he stopped is because i didnt ever pick up his calls) But i am obviously slow to react so i take my time. Would you say the same if when he asks me out or shows interest that  i react straight away? In that case isn't every woman on the planet  more desperate than i am who responds positively to a mans advances..straight  away..without leaving months to pass? Perhaps if i was actually desperate we would be going out now!! Since i would have held on to him for dear life! Not to mention after asking me to see him and to send a photo..i didnt do it at all or mention the meeting up again. 😶. So for you to then use that word as the impression he may get is ludicrous. 

If he had that impression of me there's no way he would have said i make him feel like a sandwich and he feels like an option to me.

He wouldnt  even bother. 

I don't know how old you are but im assuming 40/50/6os  i expect better from someone decades older. 

 

 

Edited June 10, 2020 by miranda561