mark clemson Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 On 4/9/2024 at 3:00 PM, Gumbeaux41 said: My question is why is she doing that and what should I do. Bitterness and you're probably best off NOT responding but saving the texts in case your probable future lawyer thinks you should show them to a judge. Showing a pattern of emotional abuse in texts might/might not influence a divorce outcome - there is a LOT of variance in jurisdictions. But see what your lawyer thinks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gumbeaux41 Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 I confessed to my affair. She no longer trusts me and says she cannot stay married. My wife called the other woman and is now threatening to kill me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 (edited) 50 minutes ago, Gumbeaux41 said: I confessed to my affair. She no longer trusts me and says she cannot stay married. My wife called the other woman and is now threatening to kill me. Yes, this is what fury looks like. What did you think was going to happen when you confessed? 🙄 Edited April 19 by basil67 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gumbeaux41 Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 Are you saying I should have not told? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 hour ago, Gumbeaux41 said: I confessed to my affair. She no longer trusts me and says she cannot stay married. My wife called the other woman and is now threatening to kill me. Tell us again - why was filing for divorce the worse option? Decisions have consequences. You now have no control of this situation. Would have been better to keep your dignity and get out in front of this… file for divorce and settle things as amicably as possible. Now, you will deal with the consequence of your decisions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 2 minutes ago, Gumbeaux41 said: Are you saying I should have not told? We are saying that you shouldn’t have cheated. The marriage was irreconcilably broken - it would have been far better to divorce as the end result is the same. But now, the consequences will be so much worse… Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 5 minutes ago, Gumbeaux41 said: Are you saying I should have not told? I am saying that I can't figure out why you're surprised at her reaction. Did you not consider how she may react to you dropping this bomb on her? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 3 hours ago, Gumbeaux41 said: Are you saying I should have not told? I think what most people are saying is that you should’ve divorced. A long time ago. This marriage is over. She had an affair, you had an affair, or you are still in an affair - so what exactly is your plan? It’s pretty clear that you and your wife don’t like or love one another and you also don’t have any respect for one another - so why do you even contemplate staying with her? I’m not even sure what you’re asking anymore. What is it that you need help with? Or are you just here to vent? That’s completely fine. But again – this marriage is over. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 3 hours ago, Gumbeaux41 said: Are you saying I should have not told? Honestly, I think that confessing to your wife at this point, when it’s long become clear that the marriage is over, wasn’t the best course of action. Confessing makes sense when you want a second chance, not when there is no chance anymore. This way, it just adds to the already existing pain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 9 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Honestly, I think that confessing to your wife at this point, when it’s long become clear that the marriage is over, wasn’t the best course of action. Confessing makes sense when you want a second chance, not when there is no chance anymore. This way, it just adds to the already existing pain. It may actually prompt her to file for divorce, which has been long overdue. So, in that way, it may have been very helpful - Although, as you said, it is certainly very hurtful. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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