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How is your relationship in isolation?


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31 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

sick of hearing the words "I want..."

Maybe it's one of those things where the woman is just venting and doesn't expect anything from the man, but men are "problem solvers" and are frustrated when there is nothing they can do.  I'm a woman, but I can see where that would get old really quick.  

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42 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Personally, I'm sick of hearing the words "I want..." followed by something I don't have or something we can't do.

 

 

Have you talked to her about how this is affecting you and explained how you're feeling?  It's really important for you to let her know it's not helpful to your state of mind and she needs to consider that.

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On 4/1/2020 at 1:48 PM, greymatter said:

I would absolutely love to be in isolation with my BF. We saw each other two days ago on Sunday briefly just to connect, outside, but we are maintaining distance to make sure we are doing the right thing. I so missed staying over his house over the weekend, but it's necessary not to do that and would actually be illegal at this point. Sigh. We had three days in a row together last week and it was blissful, fun and easy like it always is. It's going to be a while before I can stay over and be in his arms. 

 

Maybe you can work it one way or the other and one of you just move in to ride this out ?  We're loving it too although really it's not much different to how we usually live it's mainly just that it's all much quieter outside and around town . But that gives it an even nicer cacoonish our little world type feel anyway, we almost feel guilty enjoying it so much.

 

 

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I must say I am glad it is just the two us and not us and a bunch of kids. 

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On 4/3/2020 at 7:31 AM, Happy Lemming said:

Yes... this is really putting a strain on my relationship with my girlfriend.  She is staying here (with me) through the pandemic as her small studio apartment would be impossible to stock or stay in for days at a time.

Personally, I'm getting sick of all the questions... Everything is a question I can't answer or a request for something we don't have.  I know she is scared and nervous, but for the love of God... just shut up for a while.  I'm really tired of hearing her voice.

 

Sounds like she's acting like a 5yr old sorry. tell her to woman up and you don't know anymore than she does.

 

 

 

 

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Ruby Slippers
19 minutes ago, Woggle said:

I must say I am glad it is just the two us and not us and a bunch of kids. 

While I LOVE kids, I must agree. I'm wrapping up day 3 of a brand new job, working from home, and this week I'm having lots of video meetings to get to know my new colleagues.

Some of the ones with young kids at home seem frazzled. I'm sure the little ones get especially moody, restless, and rambunctious, making it hard to focus on work requiring peace and quiet. 

My cat is annoying me enough meowing while I'm on work calls. She may get quarantined to the bedroom during work time if she doesn't behave ;)

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Happy Lemming
5 hours ago, Redhead14 said:

Have you talked to her about how this is affecting you and explained how you're feeling? 

Yes, we've talked about it.  Nothing changes...

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Happy Lemming
5 hours ago, FMW said:

Maybe it's one of those things where the woman is just venting...

No need to vent to me...  I'm stuck here too.  There is nothing for me to fix about the situation.

I'm not venting, I just continue on with my day.

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2 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Yes, we've talked about it.  Nothing changes...

Does she still have her own place too?  I'd be very clear that if she can't reign it in, she can spend more time at her own place. 

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Emilie Jolie
12 hours ago, snowboy91 said:

Been quite strained - and I'm the problem. As an extrovert, I'm finding it really difficult not being able to see friends, go to the pub or go exploring, and being trapped in our tiny apartment.

Can you volunteer to help vulnerable people who are self-isolating? Or your local hospital? That'd keep you legally busy. Depends on where you live, but I'm pretty sure there are organisations you can join locally.

 

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Ruby Slippers
5 hours ago, Redhead14 said:

Have you talked to her about how this is affecting you and explained how you're feeling?  It's really important for you to let her know it's not helpful to your state of mind and she needs to consider that.

I agree. Any kind of negativity right now is bad news. I gave my boyfriend a half-joking, half-stern talking to yesterday for his teasing little comments during the day that were bugging me. I said I just started a new job, it's demanding a lot of me, and I don't need to deal with your nitpicking on top of my boss's, so be sweet to me! He turned his attitude right around and things got much better quick :)

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Happy Lemming
3 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

Does she still have her own place too?  I'd be very clear that if she can't reign it in, she can spend more time at her own place. 

She has an extremely small studio apartment.  Prior to the pandemic, she went out everyday to avoid being in that micro space for too long.  Moreover, things are starting to get a little "chippy" in her apartment complex and going downhill.  I think its only a matter of time before something bad happens there.  Being an older single woman in the AARP crowd, there really is no way for her to defend herself if someone breaks in or worse.

We had to go over on the 1st to pay her rent, as the complex wouldn't take a debit card payment over the phone.  While there we removed pictures and anything of value and brought over to my house (just in case).

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Shyt , hope her place holds up ok that'd be stressing her out a lot too , she;s lucky to have yours too though then eh.

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Happy Lemming
8 minutes ago, chillii said:

Shyt , hope her place holds up ok that'd be stressing her out a lot too , she;s lucky to have yours too though then eh.

Yes... its safer out here in the sticks.  The only visitor I have out here is the occasional javelina, but they just want the fruit off of the the prickly pear cactus and are (usually) afraid of humans. 

She has renters insurance if there is a break-in, but that is also why I moved anything of value & anything that couldn't be replaced (photos & keepsakes) out here to my house.

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I got married!!! To a wonderful person,  We had a really private ceremony to be safe (in our yard 4 peeps all 6 feet away).  I found my guy, he literally risked his life to get to me and away from other things.  

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3 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

No need to vent to me

Hey, I get it.  I was just trying to think of an explanation of why she's doing it.  Has she always been whiny?  Maybe it wasn't as obvious before because she wasn't always around.  I know this is an extraordinary situation, but how we deal with it probably has a lot in common with how we deal with things in general.  

 

 

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6 hours ago, chillii said:

 

Maybe you can work it one way or the other and one of you just move in to ride this out ?  We're loving it too although really it's not much different to how we usually live it's mainly just that it's all much quieter outside and around town . But that gives it an even nicer cacoonish our little world type feel anyway, we almost feel guilty enjoying it so much.

 

 

That would be so nice! I would love it especially right now. But we both still have kids in the house (though I have just one) which wouldn't work. Whenever we've talked about living together, it's always in the context of after the kids move out. That is a least a few years away. If we didn't have kids I think I would already be there with him since we've both been working from home and it worked great to work from there when I was there for 3 days. 

Glad you and your GF are able to be together during this time, Chillii. 

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6 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Yes, we've talked about it.  Nothing changes...

I'm sorry to hear that Happy. Have you asked her to help you understand why she isn't able to respect your request to just stop it? 

Has she ever shown this side of herself before, or is this totally new and different and related only to the pandemic?

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Happy Lemming
20 hours ago, FMW said:

 Has she always been whiny? 

Yes, but the pandemic is making her whining more prevalent and more frequent.

17 hours ago, greymatter said:

Have you asked her to help you understand why she isn't able to respect your request to just stop it?

I don't think she really ever had to do without... Even as an adult, her mother would help her out from time to time.  With this pandemic, you can't have everything you want and we all have to make sacrifices and do without.

 

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Yeah that's right and l mean it's not that bad ,  for the general public l mean, from what you hear about things like the great depression and plagues and things, war times , really this is nothing we've actually got it very very easy really. We can get food and everything we need , we have our place and all the internet bs these days, tv , music, eveything , imagine what they would've given for all that back when , this is nothing people are just so damn spoiled these days .

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Fortunately we're doing fine.

Although we've been sharing sex a little less for the past two weeks (since I am hesitant), while my wife nears the end of her radiation treatment with one of her breasts hurting her while also being lobster red.

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simpycurious

Relationship with my hobbies?  They are NOT bad thankfully.  

 

13 hours ago, 5x5 said:

Fortunately we're doing fine.

Although we've been sharing sex a little less for the past two weeks (since I am hesitant), while my wife nears the end of her radiation treatment with one of her breasts hurting her while also being lobster red.

5 X 5, I hope she is better very soon.  Take good care of her. Best Wishes to you both

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Eternal Sunshine

My relationship with the cat is strained. Cat meows non-stop and walks across my keyboard during conference calls. I think he is getting sick of me being always home - he is used to an empty house.

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simpycurious
4 minutes ago, Eternal Sunshine said:

My relationship with the cat is strained. Cat meows non-stop and walks across my keyboard during conference calls. I think he is getting sick of me being always home - he is used to an empty house.

Maybe, you need a puppy. Dogs are GREAT companions 

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Dogs are even more needy. Cats for some reason love computers. Maybe you have a spare laptop he can play with or something.

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